Deep Throat Nurses
by Tina Gross
(OES-120)


INTRODUCTION 

"We kissed for what seemed forever, then I felt his hand on my thigh. I 
wiggled a little so that he could reach between my thighs. 

"Touch my cock, Irene. Go ahead, play with it. Spread your legs a little 
more.... That's it. You aren't wearing anything under those things, are you 
?' 

"My hand started rubbing his dick as I parted my thighs. 'No, nothing,' I 
sighed. 

"He pushed me away from him. 'Now get up and strip, Irene. I want a good 
look at you. I want to see if you really are a blonde. I want to see you 
without that white outfit. But keep those things on, the stocking things. 
Hurry up, Irene, honey.' 

"I got up and turned down the lights, leaving one dim lamp lit. Then I went 
to work on the row of tiny buttons on my uniform. I'd bought the uniform 
before applying for this job, and now I wished I'd gotten one with a zipper. 
My fingers trembled as I undid the top, and I avoided Robert's eyes. Finally 
I was done, and half-turning I let the wisp of snowy uniform float to the 
carpet. I wore a white lacy bra and a pair of sheer white panty hose. Oh, 
and a standard nurse's cap on my short blonde hair. I didn't bother with 
that at all. Shivering, I undid my bra. It fell to the carpet next to my 
uniform. I turned slowly, giving Robert a good look at my tits. I was proud 
of them, and Tom had always been wild about them. They were high and full, 
small enough to never become sloppy, yet large enough to overflow any man's 
hand. My nipples were on the large side, but I have yet to hear a complaint 
about them. 

"A real blonde,' Robert admitted slowly, his eyes glued to my crotch. The 
sheer panty hose were taut across my crotch, and the nest of buttery hair 
pushed through the mesh of nylon here and there. I started to remove the 
pants, but Robert stopped me. 

"No, leave them on. You look cute with that hat and those stocking things. 
And those naked tits. Come here.' He held out his arms. 

"I went to him, standing by the bed. His hand reached out and began to rub 
my pussy. I felt very naked in the tights, and very bold. I spread my legs, 
threw back my head, and let him play with my cunt all he wanted to. I was so 
caught up by the sensations in my body that I was taken by surprise when he 
replaced his hand with his face. All at once there was a wet tongue licking 
away at my crotch. 

"Moaning, I clutched at Robert's head. His face was pressed hard against my 
cunt. I staggered back a step, but since that put me beyond reach of 
Robert's lapping tongue I moved forward again, eager for more. I wished the 
panty hose were off. They blocked his tongue from slipping up into my 
juicing hole. But he seemed to be doubly excited by the outfit. Then, as 
quickly as the tongue had begun its wild assault, it stopped. I was being 
pulled down onto the bed with Robert. 

"Now suck me a little, honey. Suck me. Be a good little nurse and make this 
better. God, my prick is hard as a rock. Put it in your mouth, Irene. Go 
ahead.' 

"Groaning, I allowed his strong hands to push my head down towards his lap. 
My pussy began to pound with a stronger urgency than before. He stopped 
pushing when his cock was a few inches from my lips. 

"Suck it, Irene! Take it in your mouth! I know you suck cock! You were damn 
near licking your sexy lips when you were looking at it before____Lick it, 
honey____' 

"I moaned and, propelled by a desire stronger than shame, I began to lick 
the head of his cock. I ran my tongue around the underside of his prick, 
licking harder when I felt him begin to shudder. 

"That feels good! Now take it in your mouth. Suck on it!' Robert moaned, 
pressing down again on my head. 

"My heart was pounding against my ribs as I allowed my lips to part. 
Robert's lovely prick slid into my mouth slowly. I felt a shock go through 
my pussy as I took the whole head in my mouth and began to suck on it. It 
was exactly as if a finger were flicking my clitoris. 

"Yes! That's the way! Take all of it in your mouth. Yes.... That's it.... 
More----' 

"I felt my cunt begin to convulse as I took his entire prick into my throat. 
It was exactly as if his cock was lodged in my pussy, stroking me. Only 
better, because no cock had ever done to my cunt what Robert's prick was 
doing to me now. I gagged as I took every last inch of it in, but it didn't 
matter - I was coming, groaning against the hairy base of his belly, 
screaming silently inside as I spasmed without touching myself at all. 

"Robert knew. He held my head tightly to his belly and seemed to fight 
against having an orgasm of his own. 'My God! I knew you loved it!' His hand 
touched the absurd little cap, still pinned to my hair. 'That's the kind of 
nurse I needed ... yes.... You'll fix me good, baby. Real good... 

"I eased up a bit as my spasms passed. His cock was harder than ever. I 
began a slow, experimental flickering of my tongue up and back across the 
shaft, then wrapped it around his prick. Moving faster, I began to suck him 
all the way into my mouth again. Immediately I felt myself growing excited 
all over again. 

"Ohh ... that feels so good____I want to do it to you, too. I'm going to 
come, and I want to be eating that pretty little pussy of yours, Irene, when 
I do. Get naked, honey. Hurry.' 

"Reluctantly I let Robert's fat prick slip out of my eager mouth. I stood 
up, stared at the glistening rod I'd been sucking, and began to pull down 
the white stockings. But he stopped me when they were to my knees. 

"Come here, Irene. Leave them on like that.' His voice was thick. 'I've had 
nurses around me all my life, honey, but never anything like this. Never.' 

"His eyes were glazed and his voice was as hypnotic as the staff between his 
thighs. I moved my eyes from his down to his prick, then up again. Then I 
started towards him. 

"Robert watched me move, his gaze burning into my cunt. 'All my life I've 
needed taking care of, and only once in a great while was there a nurse who 
really understood my needs.' He grasped his cock tightly. 'This has been 
needing a woman's touch ... a woman's lips....' 

"I moved to him quickly, instinctively knowing just what to do. I straddled 
his head carefully, my nurse's training restraining my movements so as not 
to disturb this special patient of mine. I arched myself over his torso, my 
face towards his groin, my pussy directly over his mouth. The rolled panty 
hose were obscenely stretched across his head. When I was firmly in 
position, I lowered my lips to his cock and pressed my cunt to his face. 

"His tongue darted out and lapped at the trench between my furry lips. I 
bucked uncontrollably at the wave of ecstasy that rocked my flesh as the 
tongue worked further into my hole. I sighed weakly, then opened my mouth 
and sucked Robert's big cock into my hot, wet mouth. 

"At first it was impossible to concentrate on both things at once. I would 
just get into the wonderful feeling of his thick prick in my mouth when the 
demanding tongue in my cunt would tease my tensed clitoris and that would 
drive all else from my mind. I felt as if I were strung out between two 
worlds, one of pure, ecstatic giving, and the other an Eden of taking. It 
was impossible to qualify them. But at last a flash of what Robert had said 
about the kind of nurse he'd been needing crossed my consciousness. 

"There had been a reason why I'd gone into nursing in the first place, aside 
from the financial considerations, no small matter when you were Tom's wife. 
I had a real, a strong, need to mother, to care for others. A desire to give 
of the self in some personal way. And this was the way I was needed now, by 
Robert. Perhaps that was why I'd stayed with Tom so long, for so little real 
pleasure. He'd needed me as a receptacle for his hot come. But with Tom 
there had always been something so impersonal, so distant, like my cunt was 
a thing removed from me. But with Greg, and now with Robert, I was 
controlling the whole thing, taking him into my mouth to satisfy his needs, 
delicately and deliberately ministering to the desires of the man's most 
sensitive and immediate self. My reward would also be real, a hot spray of 
semen.... All of a sudden my eagerness for Robert's come to fill my mouth 
was uncontrollable. I began sucking him frantically, aware yet not concerned 
with the wonderful tongue-work in my cunt. 

"Robert responded to the increase in my sucking by moaning into my wet 
pussy. He gripped my thighs tightly, and the fact that I would be covered 
with blue-black finger marks only increased my desire to suck him wildly. It 
was as if I'd been doing it for years, as if I knew from long experience 
exactly how to thrill a man with my mouth. I even knew exactly at what stage 
he was, knew precisely when his balls bunched up for the explosion, knew 
just when to suck all of him intc my mouth so that his boiling load could 
explode all over the inside of my throat____ 

"Robert ripped his face from my cunt and clutched me even more tightly. 'Oh! 
My God! I'm coming! Take it! I'm shooting in your mouth! Swallow it! Swallow 
my come!' 

"I felt him shoot into my mouth, spray the back of my throat with his creamy 
juice. His cheek was pressed against my pussy, and just as my mouth filled 
with Robert's long-overdue ejaculation, I came again, a slow, thrilling 
orgasm which left me sobbing against his big balls, my mouth still dripping 
with come. 

"When finally I was able to get up off the bed Robert was nearly asleep. He 
smiled up at me as I hastily dressed for my trip to the bedroom next door. 

"That was wonderful, Irene. You're the best nurse I ever had. I'm going to 
need a lot more nursing. Every day. And night....' 

"I covered his sleeping body tenderly and returned to my room, happy and a 
little tired. My life was happening so fast there was no time to reflect on 
it at all. But I had a job, and there was no doubt now that Robert would 
tell his father that I was the best thing that ever happened to him. I 
clicked on the light in my room, a big smile plastered on my lips, lips 
which still tasted of come." 

The foregoing, part of an actual case history related to us by a private 
nurse, is a not unusual example of the sort of sexual activity normally 
engaged in by those in the nursing profession. Even the frankness and detail 
with which it was related are common, rather than an exception, which might 
be expected, due to the psychological somatype of persons who become 
involved in medical work, especially nurses. 

By its very nature, the nursing profession is one of openness and honesty, 
especially in the area of sexual intimacy and involvements; 

Any woman who has made a career for herself in the nursing profession must, 
of necessity, have very few illusions about the human body or its functions, 
limitations, foibles or needs. The almost constant exposure to and handling 
pf the human body that is the everyday occupation of a nurse quickly 
eliminates any body or sex-modesty taboos that might have been instilled in 
the nurse as a child, the taboos that are so much a part of the normal 
member of our society. And, with death being an almost daily event in the 
life of a hospital nurse, and hanging over every patient who requires a 
private nurse, an almost cynical disregard for modesty and deep emotional 
involvement, physical, mental or sexual, is inevitable. 

Fictional treatments of nurses, both in books and films, often show the 
nurse to be a compassionate and caring person, deeply involved with her 
patients. In actual fact, nothing could be further from the truth. 

This isn't to say that nurses are unfeeling or undedicated to the work they 
have chosen to do. Quite the opposite. Dedication is a prime requisite for 
the nursing profession, without which no woman would be able to take the 
strain of this demanding job. What we are saying is that a nurse must not 
allow any emotional involvement with her patients to interfere with her 
work. In addition, the nurse is exposed, in the daily course of her work, to 
so much human suffering, so much mutilation and death, so many hopeless 
situations, that should she allow any emotional involvement she would soon 
become so psychologically disturbed that she would not be able to continue 
in this demanding line of work. A successful nurse must be able to develop a 
completely detached, uninvolved attitude regarding her patients. 

The human female is, though, by her very nature, an extremely emotional 
creature, and this shutting-off of emotional response to her patients can be 
as psychologically harmful as allowing an emotional response unless there is 
some form of release. Most nurses find this release through complete sexual 
permissiveness. 

Both in the normal large hospital situation and in private nursing, work 
loads make it quite difficult for a nurse to develop any outside contacts or 
fronds. It is not uncommon for a nurse in one of the metropolitan hospitals 
to work what is called a "snip's schedule," which is eight hours on duty, 
sixteen hours off, then back on duty again for another eight hours. This 
sort of schedule might continue for weeks at a time without a break in the 
routine other than the constantly changing shifts that are implicit in such 
a work schedule. For private nurses the work schedule can be even worse, 
from the standpoint of free time, since most private nurses "live in," and 
are constantly on call. Because of these parallel situations, the hospital 
nurse with her ever-changing shifts and the private nurse who is constantly 
on call, it becomes almost impossible for the nurse, especially a nurse who 
is new to the profession, to make any outside contacts which might lead to a 
stable emotional and sexual relationship. 

Taken together, the explosiveness of bottled-up emotional responses and the 
rare and usually short periods of free time available to the nurse lead to 
sexual encounters within the doctor-patient-nurse social structure which are 
dedicated purely to physical gratification and emotional release, without 
any elements of personal involvement between the people concerned except on 
the most superficial and temporary levels. 

The shallowness and temporary nature of any liaisons formed is not entirely 
due to the emotional and psychological makeup of the nurse, though. Much of 
the blame for the situation, if indeed there is blame to be placed, must be 
placed on the transient nature of the patients the nurses become involved 
with and the time-eating work loads of the only other men who have some 
semblance of permanency in their lives, the doctors. 

Combining the emotional involvement only of the most transitory nature in 
hospital or private nursing sexual encounters and the knowledge and cynicism 
regarding the human body that is standard in almost every nurse, it is not 
surprising that the more esoteric forms of sexual release are prevalent. 
Forms of the sex act which have only recently begun to receive acceptance in 
contemporary society have been common for many years in the hospitals and in 
nurse-patient relationships. Chief among these forms of formerly unusual 
sexual release is oralism. The performance of fellatio and cunni-lingus. 

Oral sexual practices have long been under a taboo in our Western society, 
and much of this rejection of oral sex acts can be traced directly to the 
Puritan ethic that was so strong in the founding fathers and early settlers 
in this country. Even the simple act of kissing on the lips was once 
considered to be an act which should not be performed in public, and there 
is an established direct relationship between kissing and oral sexual, 
relations. One is a direct progression from the other. It is interesting to 
note that, rather than retreat from the moral standards set by the Puritan 
ethic, some students of the expanding toleration of previously forbidden 
sexual practices have established a new standard: that it is permissible to 
think about these things, as long as you don't actually do anything. As Dr. 
Willard A. Mainord and Perry London said in their book Group Therapy: 

To wish to do something against the moral code should arouse no guilt 
feelings unless the individual has reason to believe that he is already on 
the path toward a forbidden goal. To be more concrete, the sex-ridden 
puritan feels no guilt if he wishes he had a woman to take to bed but knows 
very well that he will not follow through. But the moralistic rake might 
feel guilt in a similar situation because he is probably already up and 
putting on his coat. The guilt is a matter of implicitly saying "I shouldn't 
do it, but I'm going to anyhow, if possible!" 

In Europe, which has not been nearly so severely affected by the wave of 
puritanism that has run rampant across North America for the past century, 
oral sexual practices are much more accepted and condoned as a natural 
progression of preplay, to be followed by conventional sexual intercourse. 

In America, though, oral sex has long been considered to be a "perversion," 
and it has only been in the last decade that such activities have begun to 
be accepted by some psychiatrists and psychologists as a normal form of 
sexual expression. It must be noted, however, that this acceptance has come 
after the fact, rather than before. That is, oral sex practices were 
becoming common in society while they were still being condemned by 
authority. 

In finding the reasons for this acceptance of a formerly forbidden sex act, 
some researchers have theorized that the overall social conditions and 
climate, the decline of the closely knit society of the past, is the prime 
causative factor, in Morality and Mental Health, Dr. Frank A. Cizon, 
Director of Research at Loyola University's Chicago School of Social Work, 
states: 

In both cases [the 1920s and today] you find young people rebelling against 
norms. In the 1920s, however, there were strong family ties, national ties 
and neighborhood ties. These were the norms that young people knew they 
could fall back on if they got tired of trying to rebel. Now we don't really 
have norms, a young person has nothing to go back to, and it shakes his 
security. 

Today, many of the psychologists and psychiatrists who specialize in the 
study of human sexual behavior have become convinced that the addition of 
oral sexual practices to the more normal forms of sexual gratification is a 
great step forward in the establishment of a well-balanced relationship 
between a man and a woman. In many of the studies that have been made of 
sexual relationships that have proved to be unsatisfactory to one or both of 
the persons involved it has been determined that the most common causative 
factor is a lack of variety in the sex act. In other words, boredom, and the 
treatment of the sexual experience as a chore - a rote act - to be indulged 
in because it is "expected." 

Even in situations which do not involve a permanent relationship between two 
people it has been found that the simple addition of oral sex acts, either 
as preplay or as an act leading to complete sexual gratification, is very 
likely to lead to a fuller emotional response and release, and corresponding 
emotional, mental, and physical satisfaction. 

Psychologists studying the field have theorized that when a person 
progresses to the state of mental balance and freedom that allows sexual 
experimentation in the field of oralism, he or she has completely eliminated 
the guilt feelings that are instilled in childhood regarding sex, and is 
therefore much more capable of giving and receiving much more complete 
gratification from the sex act, whether the final act is of an oral nature 
or a more conventional sexual action. This is the reason why many behavioral 
scientists, psychologists, and marriage counselors are today advocating that 
persons experiencing sexual difficulties experiment with oral sexual 
practices. 

In doing so, they have had to fight against the established taboos of the 
puritan ethic, and in the process they have had to change the very 
definition of "perversion." In the Textbook of Abnormal Psychology, Drs. Roy 
M. Dorcus and G. Wilson Shaffer state simply that i in perversions, the 
desire (felt by the individual) is satisfied by some process or materials 
which are not satisfying to most people. 

How much better this definition is than the old standard, that a perversion 
is a "crime against nature." 

Of course, we have already seen that there are members of the psychiatric 
and psychological ranks who do not agreee with the beneficial aspects of 
oral sexual practices. And, in studying the material gathered on the 
subject, we also found that there are some persons who apparently don't want 
to be caught in a fixed position on either side of the question of formerly 
forbidden sexual practices. An example is he who wrote, also in the Textbook 
of Abnormal Psychology: 

Desires may be either excessive or deficient. Some confusion exists in 
determining whether the desire is abnormal or whether the gratification is 
abnormal. Some individuals may show an excessive gratification of a normal 
desire; this excessive gratification may lead to either an increase in 
desire or a decrease in desire. Non-satisfaction of the desire may result in 
(a) the abolition or reduction of the desire or (b) increasing the desire. 

What he is apparently saying is that if you want something and you get it, 
you may want more, or you may want less. Then again, if you want something 
and you don't get it, you may want it even more, or you may forget all about 
it. That sounds like giving someone a "definite maybe" answer to a question. 

To return to the central subject of oral sex practices in the 
nurse-doctor-patient situation, we find that there are several "special" 
factors which have led to the use of oral sex as a means of gratification 
and release. 

Chief among them is, in the many cases involving nurses and their patients, 
that the patient is unable to engage in a normal sexual encounter, either 
directly because of his illness or because of a surgical wound which 
precludes normal sexual activity. 

In many of the case histories which we have examined which revolve around 
nurse-patient relationships, there is considerable question as to whether 
the sexual gratification of the patient by the nurse was done merely from 
the standpoint of that gratification, for its own sake, or whether the nurse 
considered it to be an indicated part of the treatment of the patient. No 
doctor would, of course, prescribe an oral sex act as a form of medication, 
but nonetheless, some nurses claim that they have performed oral sex acts on 
patients in their care simply because they felt that the patient "needed it" 
for both his physical and mental well-being. 

While we have no doubt that the patient, in many cases, did receive benefits 
that directly aided in his recovery by the administration of such acts, we 
are inclined to think that the statements made by the nurses that it was 
done as a treatment were mere rationalization on their part. 

Whatever the reasons may be, the performance of oral sex acts, both as 
preplay and as complete sex acts leading to sexual gratification and 
release, is quite common both in hospitals and in private nursing 
situations. Much more common than in "outside" society, and more accepted as 
a normal and balanced form of sexual expression. 

While the performance of oral sex acts has, as previously stated, become 
more and more accepted in today's society, and while contemporary 
psychologists and psychiatrists are encouraging the performance of such acts 
as a means of achieving sexual satisfaction and balance, we are inclined to 
wonder whether or not the performance of such acts in a nurse-patient 
relationship does come under the heading of "perversion," since it is 
utilized purely on the level of animal gratification, rather than as an 
emotional addition to a balanced relationship between a man and a woman. 


Chapter One 

Generous Mouth 

"There's just something about helping people that gives me a warm feeling 
... that I know I'm doing good ... and I guess as a nurse I do a lot of 
good. But I do special favors for those who I feel need them, sometimes. 
Saying it right out comes hard - but the truth is, I like to give sex to 
patients who I like and who I think really need it. 

"Special sex. Mostly for men - males - and only once I gave it to a girl 
patient. That's going on now, actually - helping her. I'm not sure I like 
doing it with a girl, but she's very special. I'll tell about her later. 

"I have to explain how it started. It was over a year ago, when I first came 
on duty in the hospital intensive care wing. I was only a few months out of 
nursing school. There was a darling fifteen-year-old boy in one of the 
private rooms. He had been climbing in the mountains and fallen off a cliff 
and broken both legs and both wrists, besides cracking some ribs. He had 
landed in rocks. 

"His name was Davey W- and he had silky, pale blond hair, just like mine, 
only his eyes were gray-blue, and mine are more pure blue. I was assigned to 
him, and I took care of him, fed him his day meals, gave him his medication 
and bathed him every morning. 

"Of course, he was in casts and all hung up with pulleys and counterweights 
and all. I had to give him a sponge bath every day, and two alcohol rubs. 

"There was something about his being so helpless - so unable to do anything 
to anyone - that excited me. I could do to him. Girls don't often have it 
that way with boys, and men. 

"I made jokes with Davey and was always cheerful, and I loved combing his 
hair and making him comfortable, changing the channels on his TV set____ 

"But it was giving him sponge baths that got to me - and him. Poor Davey. He 
was awfully embarrassed at first when I washed around his penis. He got an 
erection. 

"I laughed and said it was perfectly normal and I wasn't offended. I said I 
was flattered. I had to wash it. That was fun. It was no danger to me. Davey 
had a beautiful white one that wasn't too long or too thick. It was ... 
well, it was the penis you'd imagine Michelangelo's David would have if he 
had an erection. 

"I was fascinated by it, and by his small scrotum and the testicles inside. 
I washed them, too, every day, with the washcloth at first, then only with 
wet, soapy fingers and hands. 

"It was very sensuous, handling Davey's organs that way. I got so I was 
actually teasing him ... putting my warm, wet, soapy hands on his hard 
penis, massaging it, moving the skin down to wash around the glans, and 
sliding my slippery hands up and down on it____ 

"His pubic hair was like curly silk, almost white, it was so blond. Like 
mine. But I don't let any males see mine. I'm still a virgin. I came close 
to getting myself raped a few years ago and I haven't been able to let a boy 
get close to me since then, physically or emotionally. I can't trust a male 
any more. Men are too strong ... and I'm too small a girl to fight them off 
when they get drunk or want to fuck me. 

"I just don't let myself get into those situations, not any more! 

"The time my inner life changed - I was giving Davey his morning wash, and I 
was gently handling his erection, slowly moving my hand up and down on it, 
when I happened to look up and saw the look of absolute agony in his eyes. 
My heart just sank because all at once I realized I'd been actually teasing 
him, sexually. His penis was as hard and stiff as it could get, in my hand, 
and he desperately needed to be relieved of all that accumulated tension. 

"I was absolutely ashamed of myself. I said, 'I'm so sorry, Davey. I didn't 
realize....' 

"I closed my hand tighter around his penis and began to pump it up and down 
faster. I didn't look at his face again while doing it for him. I heard him 
breathing fast, and I saw his belly and thigh muscles go tense. Then all at 
once a gasp was ripped from him and his beautiful, hard penis jumped in my 
flying hand and I learned he was developed enough to shoot semen. 

"Those first three spurts went flying - onto his neck, onto the sheet, and 
one onto the cast of his right leg. 

"He was gasping more and more, and more and more semen came spurting out, 
but not as hard or as far. 

"I was amazed at how much he had stored up. And I realized I'd done the 
right thing. A teenage boy, confined to a hospital bed ... with all that sex 
tension building up and with his wrists and hands in casts.... 

"When the semen stopped coming out, and his penis got a little soft, I 
stopped pumping him and washed my hands in the metal pan of warm water I had 
brought in for his bath. Then I used the washcloth to wipe him all off. 

"He thanked me and I said it was nothing, and that I should have done it all 
along. And I smiled and told him I'd do it for him every morning if he 
wanted me to. 

"Of course, he did! He said later in the day, when I was giving him an 
alcohol rub, that he wished I'd do it again then. He could do it five or six 
times a day. 

"I said I'd think about it. "That night I decided if I did relieve him, and 
calm him like that, several times a day, he'd be more likely to heal faster 
and be happier. That gave me a warm feeling. But later I dreamed of sucking 
Davey's penis. I saw myself washing it off good, then lowering my head and 
taking it deep into my mouth, and raising and lowering my head, faster and 
fas.ter____ 

"I woke up dizzy, my mind full of those images. And that morning, later, 
when I was masturbating him, I had a nearly irresistible urge to suck him. I 
found myself leaning forward and licking my lips. 

"I didn't know where those sucking urges were coming from. I wanted to drink 
his semen. I wanted to suck him dry and keep him dry ... to make his 
testicles work and work and work to keep producing semen, and they'd never 
catch up. 

"I had fantasies of Davey all haggard and weak from my sucking him off all 
the time. He couldn't stop me. I was a spider sucking the life out of him. 

"Of course, I never have done it that much with a patient. I would never 
endanger his health! I'm a nurse! I'm just being honest about all my weird 
thoughts. I'm really convinced my special favors to special patients is a 
good thing for them. It's definitely unorthodox nursing practice! But I 
wouldn't do it if I didn't really believe it helped. 

"It was a week after I started masturbating Davey that I first sucked his 
penis. 

"That time is acid-etched in my mind. 

"That particular morning I looked in the mirror when I was brushing my teeth 
... with that white toothpaste mixed with saliva drooling off my lips ... 
and suddenly it seemed to be Davey's thick, syrupy semen. 

"I stared at my lips and I remembered something I had forgotten years 
before. When I was a junior in high school a boy who'd tried to make me and 
failed said angrily, to get even, 'You've got awfully thick, fleshy lips, 
Judy. I'll bet there's a nigger in your family's woodpile somewhere.' 

"I'd been self-conscious of my mouth for months. 

"That morning, looking in the bathroom mirror, I saw my lips in a special 
way ... full, sort of pouty and sexy, ripe and juicy and hot - wrapped 
around Davey's stiff white penis. 

"At work I couldn't shake that image. I guess I knew I was going to do it. I 
had a funny, shivery feeling in my belly when I went in to give him his 
morning bath. My hands shook and I nearly spilled the pan of warm water on 
the tray. 

"I pretended nothing was different. I drew the sliding curtain around his 
bed so nobody could see what I was doing from the door if anybody looked in. 

"I made little sexy jokes about how erect he was. He had an erection waiting 
for me every morning. Every afternoon, too. 

"I washed his body, neck, face, legs as far down as the casts would allow. I 
saved his penis for last. 

"I lathered my hands in the milky, hot water. I smiled as I lovingly clasped 
his lovely, throbbing organ and worked my fingers in slow strokings and 
sliding touches. It was very stiff. 

"I was doing things different now. Normally I masturbated him, then washed 
him off. My heart was thumping hard. I kept licking my lips. 

"Davey said, anxious, 'Aren't you going to do it this morning?' 

"My stomach felt icky. I said, 'I'm going to do something super-special.' I 
couldn't look up. I rinsed off his penis with the washcloth, several times. 
'Wait and see.' I shifted closer. I held his wet, clean penis with two 
fingers. I closed my eyes and lowered my head. I parted my moist lips. 

"When I slid my lips down over the glans, Davey whispered, 'Oh, Judy - ' and 
his voice shook. 

"I tightened my lips on the glans and then went lower, taking more and more 
of him. He only had about five inches, and I discovered I could almost press 
my lips all the way down, before the glans tickled way back at the entrance 
of my throat, and made me choke and gag. 

"I pulled back till I had only the glans again, then dipped low, taking 
almost all of his stiff penis, then up again.... 

"There was no bad taste, of course, and the sensation of his stiffness 
sliding up into my mouth like that, then almost out, was something I liked. 

"I had never sucked a penis before. But often I used to suck a wienie, or a 
carrot, pretending they were boys' organs. Then I'd bite! But I've never 
bitten a real penis. I would never do that. 

"I held the base of Davey's hard penis with the thumb and forefinger of my 
right hand, and I filled my mouth with penis until my lips kissed my 
fingers, then I raised up and sucked hard on the glans. Then down again____ 

"I started to hear Davey moaning real soft and shaky, and as much as his 
casts let him, he was jerking around. 

"I put my left hand on his belly to steady him and felt the muscles all 
tight, then go loose, and tight again. 

"I was afraid somebody might come in and catch me. I listened through my 
breathing and the wet sucking sounds my lips and mouth were making, and 
through Davey's moaning, for any sound from the doorway or the hallway just 
outside. 

"I wanted to make him shoot in my mouth. I kept my head going down and up, 
and kept sucking hard on his glans for a few seconds each time. I was 
enjoying myself. I had a good warm feeling that I was doing the right thing 
for him, and he needed to be sucked off. 

"Davey gasped, 'I'm almost - I'm going to - ' 

"I patted his belly with my hand to let him know I heard and knew what he 
was trying to say. I stopped sucking his glans each time and just bobbed my 
head up and down as fast as I could, and I took my fingers from around the 
base of his penis - I took all of it. I could do it if I did it fast like 
that. 

"He was pushing up to meet my down-sweeping lips, but I was going too fast 
for him. I tightened my mouth into a clinging tube and about five seconds 
later he gave a cry like a littie boy and I got a lot of semen spurting into 
my mouth. 

"I plunged my head up and down until he got a kind of keen tone to his moans 
and he stopped jabbing his penis up at my mouth. Also, it got soft. 

"I honestly didn't like the taste of his semen. It was all over the inside 
of my mouth and tongue and some of it had trickled down my throat and I'd 
automatically swallowed it. I clung my lips to his dying organ and pulled my 
head away. I spat the semen into a towel. 

"I managed to meet his eyes then. He looked amazed and dazed. I asked, 'Did 
you like it?' 

"He grinned and blushed. 'Sure, I did.' Then he said, 'No girl ever did that 
to me before.' 

"If it'll help you get well quicker, I'll do it every day.' 

"It will!' 

"I had to laugh at the quick, exaggerated way he said it. But it gave me a 
glow. It made me feel good inside. 

"I washed his soft penis and left to take care of some other patients. 

"I sucked Davey's penis twice a day for two weeks. I got so good at it, and 
I knew exactly what to do for him and how to do it, that I could suck him 
off in less than two minutes, sometimes. 

"I was always astonished that he could have an erection that much, sometimes 
only an hour after I sucked him off once, I'd have an opportunity to go in 
to him again, and there it would be, stiff and up, and I'd bend over it and 
open my mouth and take it in and suck hard and wriggle my tongue - I found 
that wriggling my tongue as I went up and down on it with my mouth was the 
best way for him - and he'd shoot another big lot of semen. His testicles 
sure managed to keep up with my mouth. 

"Davey was taken home to convalesce and I didn't think I'd ever see him 
again. Then one day he walked into the hospital to see me - all well - and I 
was scared of him. Not because he could get me in trouble if he wanted to 
and ruin me and cost me my license.... It was because he was normal. He 
wasn't confined and helpless. 

"Suddenly Davey was nearly six feet tall, towering over me, a young man, 
with all that strength____And I was terrified! 

"I was rude to him, and I hurt him, but I couldn't help it. He didn't come 
back." 

From the foregoing it is quite obvious that Judy has a severe and already 
well-established confusion-of-gender conflict, probably initiated by the 
attempted rape when she was still a girl. The fact that she has remained a 
virgin, has an openly stated distrust of men, and relates experiences of a 
sexual nature which only involve men who are immobilized shows clearly her 
deep emotional and mental problems. 

As a woman with a normal body, experiencing the normal desires of a woman, 
she is being virtually torn asunder, without realizing it, by the fight 
taking place within her between those desires and her emotional problems. 
While she is not yet ready to admit it to her interviewers, or even to 
herself, she is showing quite clearly and sharply defined evidences of 
lesbian tendencies, despite the fact that all of her related sexual 
relationships (with the exception of the one she . is currently involved in 
- more on this later) involve men. 

Only a deep and thorough analysis and course of treatment by a qualified 
psychiatrist will be able to eventually get at the roots of her mental and 
emotional problems, and at this time it is impossible for us to say, with 
any certainty, what are the original causes or present tensions contributing 
to her mental problems. However, we can speculate that a combination of 
factors, among them the attempted rape when she was still, physically and 
emotionally, a child, her presently somewhat boyish physical features, and 
the basically depressing nature of her chosen profession were, at least to 
some extent, responsible. 

In regards to the last factor, the basically depressing nature of her chosen 
profession, nursing, it must be remembered that, while most cases end with 
the patient being cured and discharged from the hospital, the long period of 
time while he is in the hospital, undergoing treatment and recovery, can be 
a strong cause of severe mental depression, especially for a still young, 
inexperienced and impressionable girl like Judy. 

This one factor, when combined with an unstated but assumed lack of contact 
with others outside the hospital, especially males, could be one of the 
major building blocks in her developing lesbianism. As C. G. Jung stated in 
his Practice of Psychotherapy: 

Sexual disturbance is by no means the cause of neurotic difficulties, but is 
one of the pathological effects of a maladaption of consciousness, as when 
the consciousness is faced with situations and tasks to which it is not 
equal. 

Accepting this, we find here a girl faced with twin tasks which she has been 
unable to handle. That of finding her place in the sexual spectrum, and that 
of performing her job despite her constant emotional involvement with her 
patients. 

This involvement, by the way, is not of a positive nature. Although she 
states repeatedly that she performs the oral sex acts on her patients to 
"help" them, justifying the act as an aid to healing, it is obvious that she 
actually has deeper reasons for her actions. The most obvious of those 
reasons is her desire to emasculate the man, eliminating him as a threat. It 
is with the purpose of semisymbolic emasculation that she is so intent upon 
"draining" the man during the course of the oral sex act. 

In this we have a textbook example of the difference between a balanced, if 
still unaccepted, sex act and a classic perversion. It is nQrmal for a young 
woman her age to desire sexual gratification and desire. It is also normal 
for a person her age to take part in a modification of this desire, i.e., 
experimentation with oral sex. As Dr. Roy M. Dorcus states in the Textbook 
of Abnormal Psychology: 

The difference between a normal modification of a desire and a perversion is 
that the perversion interferes with adequate satisfaction of one of the 
primary desires or reduces the normal desire in strength or frequency, 
whereas a normal modification has no adverse effect on any of the primary 
desires or their satisfaction. 

In other words, the person who engages in oral sexual activities, and is 
also well-balanced emotionally, uses these acts as an addition to the more 
conventional forms of sexual satisfaction. The unbalanced personality, on 
the other hand, is committed mentally to the exclusive use of these acts. In 
place of, rather than in addition to. 

As Judy continues with her narrative we will find one underlying theme 
repeated over and over. She is only able, or desirous, of engaging in sexual 
activity with men who are physically helpless. The second patient upon whom 
she performed an oral sex act was partially paralyzed, and she refused to 
allow him to touch her during the course of the act. Another patient was 
both blind and immobilized by casts on his arms and legs, and one patient 
upon whom she lavished her attentions was completely unconscious, in a deep 
coma. 

"My second man - the second man I sucked off - was a patient, also. That was 
poor Mr. H - . George. He was very well off and he had a private suite. But 
his money couldn't cure his spine cancer, and he was only forty-four. 

"I was nice to him in the recovery room where I was working when we met, and 
he pulled strings to have me transfered up to his suite on tenth South. I 
didn't suck him off in the recovery room, of course! 

"They took out a vertebra or two and chopped up his nerve trunk to cut down 
on his pain. But they didn't cut his penis nerves, luckily for him. 

"I know I made his last three months of life a lot more bearable. I know I 
did the right thing. 

"I remember a lot of our talk. He was a very well educated, very intelligent 
man, with graying hair that was receding on each side of a thick vee of hair 
... so it made him look devilish because he also had a pointed Vandyke 
beard. 

"He liked to put on a deep chuckling laugh that made him sound positively 
EVIL. But he was actually the sweetest, nicest man I've ever known. 

"When the nice ones go like that it makes me wonder about God. 

"George had deep blue eyes, almost purple sometimes. If he hadn't been 
bedridden and hadn't had IVs in him all the time, those eyes would have 
scared the absolute pee out of me. I couldn't have managed to stay a minute 
with him as a well man. He could have made me do anything. He could have 
done anything to me he wanted. But his legs were paralyzed and his right arm 
had a tube in it... and he was safe for me to be around. 

"I had the impulse to suck him the first time I bathed him in his suite. It 
was very private, with an anteroom, a bathroom, and his bedroom. 

"He didn't use the bathroom, of course. And he hated to have a catheter. So 
I'd go in with a bedpan and put it in position between his legs, and go out, 
and he'd urinate in it, using his free hand, and then I'd come back and get 
the pan. 

"When I bathed him he said, 'Oscar isn't dead, you know.' 

"I can see that.' His penis was fat and heavy and warm in my hand as I 
washed the glans. It was slowly growing. I was holding it up with my left 
hand and using my fingers and palm, all soapy, of my right hand, to cup and 
tickle the violet-covered glans. It was a big glans, sitting on top of the 
fat trunk of his penis like a plum on top of a soft, off-white cucumber, if 
you can imagine that. George had a big handful for me. 

"I asked him, 'Why do you call it Oscar?"He's performed magnificently in his 
time."Award-winning?' 

"Three-time winner of the Best Fuck of the Year award.' 

"He was getting an extensive erection. I mean his penis was really big ... 
around seven inches! I said, 'I'm impressed.' 

"I continued to wash it slowly, with lots of slippery soap. I used both 
hands on it, up and down and around.... It was fun. I looked up and his deep 
blue eyes were sparkling. He winked and smiled. 

"He said, 'Oscar is getting some of his hopes up.' 

"I can see.' 

"Is he going to be disappointed?' 

"Not if I can help it.' 

"His fate, my dear, is in your hands.' 

"That made me laugh. I met George's eyes for a second, and blushed, but I 
didn't care. I liked him and he was safe. 

"I rinsed off his penis and patted it dry with a towel. Then I gripped it 
with my right hand and started masturbating him. 

"It was a job! His penis was so big around it was hard for me to keep a good 
hold of, and it took more strength to pull the skin up and down. 

"He saw my problem and said, 'Use both hands, Judy.' 

"So I did. In fact, I got all the way up on the bed, on my knees, and got a 
good grip on his penis with both hands, my fingers intertwined, and I really 
went at it! The bed started shaking and George was bouncing a little from my 
movements, but I had my hands and arms going fast! I was actually crouched 
over his middle from the side, and looking straight down at his penis. 

"He took an awfully long time. He kept whispering, 'I'm getting close now - 
don't stop. Don't stop, Judy!' 

"I didn't. I could keep going almost forever that way, with both hands going 
at once. I was worried that the bouncing he was taking would hurt his spine 
or cause him pain. 

"But George kept saying, 'I'm almost there. For God's sake, don't stop!' 

"I didn't, but another minute went by. I sneaked little looks at his face. 
To check for pain and reaction. His mouth was open and his tongue was 
sticking partway out. His eyes were slitted and he was watching my hands 
jerking him off like a toad watches a fly. I felt his penis get stiffer. The 
glans also got a shiny look to it. 

"Then George grunted deep in his chest, and his big penis sort of spasmed in 
my hands. Semen flowed in a thick surge. It didn't have much power behind it 
- there was no spurting through the air. 

"George threw his head back. He drew a quiv-ery quick breath. He wasn't 
looking at me or my hands on his supercharged penis. I had a terrific 
impulse to suck him - at the last minute, before his orgasm was finished. My 
mind froze for a split instant. I felt a hot flash all through my body. 
Actually! 

"Then I dove my head down and crammed that semen-covered glans into my 
mouth. I thought for another instant I'd gag on that stuff ... and I do have 
a small mouth inside, besides. But I conquered that and tried to work my 
tongue and kept on jerking him off with both hands. 

"He grunted - sort of surprised and very happy and with pleasure and his 
free hand came to the back of my neck and held my head down. His grunts 
reached a peak - like his guts were being pulled out - and then his hand 
relaxed and I took my mouth off his glans. 

"He smiled, soft and nice, and started to say something. But I interrupted. 
I was just furious! I said, 'Don't you ever hold my head down like that 
again! I can't stand that kind of thing! Don't touch me at all when I'm 
doing that!' 

"George apologized and I accepted it. He said he'd never do it again. 

"Unspoken was the understanding that was built into what I'd said, and what 
he'd agreed to - that I would give him sex again, and probably suck him off, 
too. It saved a lot of embarrassment. 

"He was sincere in thanking me. He said what I felt. He said, 'Judy, I know 
I'm going down the tube. I'll never leave this place alive. What you did for 
me was beautiful. You're a wonderful girl, and the best nurse in the world.' 
Then he gestured my face close to his and he kissed me tenderly on the 
mouth. His Vandyke beard tickled my chin. Then he said, 'What great lips 
you've got! I wish ... well, our ages are too far apart, even if....' He 
waved me out, and picked up a book and stared hard at a page, but he wasn't 
reading. 

"I didn't know how often George could stand to be sucked off. Older men - 
well, I thought maybe once a week. 

"But the next morning when I went in with my tray with soap, towels, 
washcloth, and pan of hot water, he grinned and said, 'Welcome, Judy. I've 
been waiting!' 

"That told me all I had to know. 

"I gave him a good bath, all over, except for his penis and scrotum, which I 
saved for last. He'd had his breakfast tray and I knew from his chart he 
wasn't due for any medication for another half hour at least - and I'd be 
giving him that shot in any case. So I felt safe about intruders. In the 
private suites the outer door has a buzzer, and the anteroom has tile on the 
floor, so the patient and nurse can hear anyone enter. The main room has 
wall-to-wall carpeting, except for around the bed, which is tiled. 

"When I got to washing his genitals, and his penis began to thicken up and 
get long, he said, 'I'd like very much to touch and kiss your breasts.' 

"I shook my head. I said, 'Too risky.' But even if it hadn't been - I 
wouldn't have let him. I couldn't stand that much intimacy. Touching my body 
was out. Besides, I don't have very good breasts. There's a mole with a hair 
in it on my left breast. I should have it cut off. The mole. 

"George only nodded and studied me with his dark blue eyes as I soaped up 
his scrotum and worked my hands slowly up onto his penis, which was already 
very big and hard, lying on his belly. It was twitching from his pulse beat. 
I slid my fingers around it and lifted it and soaped his pubic hair, which 
was getting gray, too. 

"Then I used both hands, all soapy and wet, and ran my fingers and palms up 
and down on his penis, and around the glans, which was uncovered. 

"George enjoyed the sensations and I enjoyed playing with that big, warm 
hunk of manhood. 

"I asked, 'Do women like to have all this in them?' 

"Most do - if it's done properly and with love.' 

"I asked, 'How many women have you made love to?' 

"Maybe a couple dozen. Do you do this for many patients?' 

"No! You're the - the second.' I massaged his penis some more, then rinsed 
it off and dried it with little loving pats of a towel. I got up on the bed. 
I said, 'Now, keep your left hand to yourself.' 

"I will, Judy. I don't want to make you angry.' 

"He said it in such a comical way I had to laugh. I kissed the top of his 
glans. Then I slowly let my lips open wider and wider and slide down over 
it. It was a mouthful. 

"I started licking my tongue around in my mouth. I hoped it wouldn't take 
too long. 

"After a minute, George said, 'That won't make it, Judy. Not by itself. You 
have to move the skin up and down - like the first time.' 

"I resented being told how to do it. Davey hadn't complained! But I did what 
George wanted. I got into a better position, between his dead legs - I had 
to lift and push his legs open to make room for my kneeling and crouching - 
and I got my two-handed, fingers-locked-to-gether grip on his thickness in 
the middle of his penis, and I started slowly pumping the skin. 

"I did that for a minute, slowly, then I lowered my head again and licked 
the glans as I pumped. 

"George liked that. He moaned softly in his chest. He whispered faintly, 
'Good .. .fine. 

"I pressed my lips down over the glans again. The warm size filled my mouth, 
silky and rubbery and big. I tickled my tongue over the most sensitive place 
and pumped the skin up to meet my lips. And I slowly increased the speed of 
my hands. 

"George whispered, 'Oh, perfect, Judy ... perfect----' 

"I closed my eyes and sucked and pumped - and kept on doing it a little bit 
faster, and faster, until the bed was bouncing us both and I was going as 
fast as I could. 

"I turned and twisted my head as I used my tongue and pounded my gripping 
hands up and down. I could hear George's quick, heavy breathing and moaning, 
and then I could feel a tiny change in his penis and in his glans which I 
was sucking like crazy. They got more tense, and he was right on the verge 
of coming. 

"He whispered, 'Judy - what a style! Gooood!' And then he started his 
orgasm, grunting deep in his chest, and his penis did that jerking in my 
hands and mouth. 

"When he had had all the pleasure there was to get from that orgasm, I 
stopped. I got off the bed quick, just in case. That kneeling position 
between his legs was very compromising. There was no way I could have 
explained it. 

"George smiled and said, 'Thank you, Judy. You're an angel.'" 

"'The head nurse wouldn't think so if she knew.'" 

"Fuck her.' He closed his eyes and went right to sleep. He looked very 
peaceful and contented. It made me feel good. 

"It was like that with George up until almost his last week. 

"Toward the end he got terribly haggard and wasted away ... and he took 
longer and longer to have an orgasm ... but he did love having them.... We 
both hoped he could have a heart attack in the middle of one, and go that 
way. 

"But he didn't. He died in great pain one night and he said my name over and 
over, I was told. 

"That made me cry. "I went to his funeral. 

"I know you're going to think I'm sick mentally now, when I tell about 
what's going on now. 

"I'm in the intensive care section again, and I'm working the night 
schedule, from three-thirty to midnight, and I've got three patients I'm 
involved with, orally. 

"I'm really beginning to get worried about myself. Maybe subconsciously I 
want to get caught or punished or something. 

"You can't really consider one of my special patients any danger - unless 
somebody walks in, and that's not possible, because I do it while I'm giving 
an alcohol rub and have the privacy screen closed. 

"He's a young football player who suffered a skull fracture, very severe, in 
a game, and he is in a coma twenty-four hours. 

"He doesn't know what I'm doing ... but his penis knows. It swells up right 
away, as soon as I start in. 

"I enjoy doing him best. He's totally helpless. All he is is a vegetable ... 
with a warm penis. And it's surprising how fast he ejaculates. I start with 
his penis soft and in seconds it's hard - as soon as it feels my warm mouth 
and tongue it gets totally hard in a hurry! I only have to suck about a 
minute and it spurts - whoosh, whoosh, whoosh - that fast. 

"I don't have to be embarrassed about him knowing or watching or thinking 
and making judgments. I can experiment - like really tasting his semen and 
swallowing it. It's safer to take it all in my mouth and swallow it. No 
evidence or semen smell that way. And I don't mind doing it with him. 

"He came out of surgery and into my section one night and I knew immediately 
I wanted to suck him off while he was comatose. 

"He has a beautiful body. He's six feet three and built! I love to give him 
baths and rubs. I get all sensuous and turned on just running my hands over 
his body. Then I suck him off and get a funny thrill in my belly. A special 
warm glow down there. 

"It's awful to say, but I hope he stays in a coma for a while. It looks like 
he might be in a coma permanently, anyway. 

"I'm having my sick kicks with him, I guess. 

"The second patient I'm giving my special treatment to is a blind man who 
was hit by a car in an intersection and tossed over fifty feet, according to 
what I heard from the police ambulance drivers who brought him in. He has 
both arms with multiple fractures and they're in casts up to his elbows and 
in traction to boot. 

"We have to hand-feed him and ask him when he wants a bedpan. 

"His name is Daniel F. J-. A very distinguished name, except that he's a 
welfare case. He's going to be transferred to County soon, and I'll lose 
him. 

"Dan is only thirty-nine. He has a good, slim body, very pale skin, red 
hair, and burned-out eyes. He was blinded by looking into a powerful arc 
light too long. He won't tell me anything much except that. 

"I sucked off Dan the second time I went into the room where he was with two 
other patients. I had to give him an antibiotic shot in the rump, so I had 
to draw the privacy curtains around his bed. 

"I said hello, and he recognized my voice. 'You're Judy, aren't you?' 

"Yes. That's very good to identify me like that. I have to give you an 
injection. Can you roll a little onto your left hip?' 

"He did, and I pulled up his skimpy hospital gown. I saw his penis. It was 
small, but stubby and thick and hard. He was circumcised, and there was a 
smear of clear lubrication secretion at the opening. 

"I gave the injection and he rolled back on his buttocks. I put my hand on 
his thigh. The muscles tt.;sed. I said very low, 'It seems you need a 
special kind of relief of tension.' 

"He smiled wryly and managed to shrug a little, in spite of the traction. I 
knew his shoulders ached, and his back, too. 

"He said, soft, too, 'That's the nature of the beast.' 

"I said, running my hand down under his gown closer to his penis, 'I could 
help you with it, if you want me to.' 

"Best offer I've had in years, and that's no lie.' 

"It has to be a secret. "Count on me.' 

"I'll be back in a minute, Mr. J-, to give you an alcohol rub. That'll help 
your muscles relax a little.' I said it loud enough for the other two 
patients to hear if they were listening. 

"They both could see, and they had a TV on. 

"Dan picked up on it right away. He said, 'Thank you, nurse.' 

"I went for the cotton and the bottle. I was excited. I was doing good, 
helping a person who really needed relaxing. 

"I set up and started the rub on his shoulders and neck. Then I put the 
cotton aside and gently slid my right hand down the front of his gown to 
where it was pulled up against his hard belly. He was in good shape for a 
thirty-nine-year-old man. 

"I fingertipped his penis. I smeared his secretions over the tip of his 
glans. I made a. cup of my fingers and palm, and fitted it down over his 
stubby length. He only had about four inches, and half of it was hidden in 
thick, curly red pubic hair. 

"Dan said, 'I've been shortchanged all my life? He sounded bitter. 

"It doesn't matter.' I started finger-rubbing the underside of his glans. I 
said, 'Tell me when you're close.' 

"He nodded. His thin, pale chest was already heaving faster than normal. 

"I curled two fingers and my thumb around his penis, and began masturbating 
him in earnest. Short, fast little strokes. I braced the butt of my hand on 
his upper thigh and found I could do it very fast. 

"Dan whispered, "I want it to last, but - I'm close!' His flat belly was 
sucking in and out. 

"Don't tell anybody about this, now!' I put my left hand on his fluctuating 
stomach, and moved my right to his thighs. Then, in one movement ... I 
lowered my head and pressed my face to his loins and filled my mouth with 
that short, thick penis. 

"Dan gave a funny, surprised gasp. His belly went tense under my hand. 

"I sucked fast, and like with Davey, I managed to bob my head quick and 
drive my lips down to take it all. My nose started to tickle from dipping 
into that curly red hair that fluffed all around his penis. I got my right 
hand in between his slender thighs, and I warmed his scrotum with my fingers 
and palm. I cupped his testicles. 

"Dan's breathing was fast and loud. He was twisting some, and the ropes and 
pulleys and weights attached to his straight-up arms-in-casts were creaking 
and rustling. He gave a low, sort of suppressed, gasping groan - and he 
came. I took four good big spurts of thick, gooey semen in my mouth. Then a 
lot more weaker spurts, and then a flow. Did he have it stored up! 

"I had my mouth full and was in danger of letting semen dribble down into 
his pubic hair, which would have been a mess, so I mentally braced myself 
and swallowed it all. 

"Dan lay quiet, his chest rising and falling fast, still. He said, 'You're 
someone very special, Judy.' 

"I saw there was wetness in his blind eyes and I got choked up. A surge of 
emotion came up from somewhere, and I was very close to tears, myself. I had 
that stinging in my nose. I blinked fast and wiped a drop of last-minute 
semen from the tip of his shrinking penis, and covered him up with his gown 
and the bed sheet and the thin hospital blanket. 

"I patted his leg and said I'd see him the next day, and for him to sleep if 
he could. 

"Two nights later I sucked Dan off again. Maybe I can get in one or two more 
before he's taken away. He's a dear man. He's sckgrateful. 

"Then - there's Patty. She's in the room next to the one Dan's in, but she's 
got the room to herself because we have no other female patient to fill the 
other intensive care bed. 

"Patty is a tragedy. She is a nurse, and she's young - -just my age, 
twenty-one, and she even looks a little like me. She's skinny, with no 
breasts to speak of, and her hair is blonde, and long - but when she's 'all 
there' she's very aggressive and dominating ... and she's frankly a lesbian. 
She admits it. 

"And she - captured me. I'm afraid of her, but I have to go in and tend to 
her, and when I do, and she's not doped up to hinder her convulsions, she 
makes me do perverted things to her. 

"I just can't say no to her when she catches me with those blazing, powerful 
green eyes of hers. 

"I think she's insane. I think it's the tumor in her brain that makes her so 
- strong and wild-eyed and overpowering, and that it's what's causing her to 
be a lesbian. 

"She's going up to surgery in a few days. There's a fifty-fifty chance 
she'll die and she knows it, of course. 

"Patty has to be kept strapped into her bed, because of her periodic 
convulsions. The doctors can't give her enough medicine to stop the 
convulsions without weakening her too much for surgery. 

"She's cunning. The first time I entered her room she sensed I was the kind 
of person I am. She knew she could take advantage of me. 

"Patty has a nasal quality to her low voice. It's not too strong a thing, 
but it's there. And she darts her head this way and that, as she talks. 

"Her blonde hair is drawn back in a bun, and that makes her nose and chin 
seem sharp and hawkish. It ages her five years. 

"I came in to check her condition as the chart ordered - this was just a few 
days ago - and we talked as I took her blood pressure and pulse and checked 
her straps and took her temperature. 

"Patty has green eyes that drill right into my brain. I mentioned that 
already, but it's awful to be like a rabbit in the same cage as a python. 

"She said, 'I need a bedpan!' And when I took the pan from the cabinet near 
her bed and pulled her hospital gown up to position it, she said, 'Play with 
my pussy!' 

"She was strapped down. Arms, legs, hips, waist, neck. She couldn't move 
more than an inch or two. But I was suddenly afraid of her. Because I 
suddenly wanted to do it. But I didn't like her. 

"Then I realized she wasn't responsible - her brain tumor was talking. I 
asked, 'Will that relax you?' 

"It'll make me hot as hell. I want you to suck my titties and eat my cunt, 
too. That'll relax me. Better than those anticonvulsion drugs they're 
shooting into me every four hours!' 

"I can't - ' 

"Yes, you can! You're my friend, aren't you - ' Her eyes went to my nametag. 
' - Judy?' She licked her lips suggestively. 'I want that sexy mouth of 
yours . . . hmm? I won't say a word to anyone!' 

"Y - You're a girl.' 

"I still have physical needs.' Her eyes got to me. 'Play with me, Judy!' 

"I'll - I'll examine. . . .' I put my hand down into her crotch and rested 
my palm on her blonde-curled mons, and let my middle finger touch the lips 
of her vulva. 

"Her crotch was very warm, and I was very surprised when my finger touched 
oozing, slippery secretions. 

"Her green eyes just blazed! 'Finger me!' 

"I pressed my finger into her vulva and it was like sticking my finger into 
a hot mouth! I felt her clitoris immediately - it was big as a pencil eraser 
and as hard, too. 

"She made a little sound. 'Rub it, rub it good!' 

"To my fingertip, her clitoris felt like a very small penis. I started 
thinking of it that way. If it was a small penis, then masturbating it and 
maybe sucking it wouldn't be so bad. 

"I rubbed that little hard button of stiff flesh in all that slippery 
lubrication and I got my usual warm glow as Patty clenched her little fists 
and panted and went off quickly, with lots of body-trembling. 

"When the climax passed, she nodded and said, 'Now suck my titties! That'll 
get me hot again.' 

"Do they hurt?' There was a wide nylon strap across her chest. 

"Yes, they hurt. Make them feel good!' 

"I unlocked the buckle and pulled the strap loose by about a foot. 'I'd 
better see if they're bruised.' I tugged down her gown enough to expose her 
small, pert breasts. They were like two fried eggs, with pink cherries set 
in the middle of pale pink yolks. She had beautiful little breasts. 

"I touched her right nipple and it yeasted up even bigger and darkened and 
crinkled - just like it had been cooked in an oven. 

"Suck it, Judy!" 

"I bent over and let my lips close around the nipple. I flicked at it with 
my tongue. I enjoyed doing it. I lost my self-consciousness and began to 
really suck. 

"I drew the nipple up into my mouth by suction, and tightened my mouth and 
tongue on it, and even grazed some teeth against it. 

"Patty made a kind of mewing sound and arched her back. 

"I sucked on her nipples like that for five minutes, at least. Each time I 
tried to stop, she ordered me to keep doing it. 

"Then Patty said, 'Unstrap my legs. Eat me! Eat my hot, juicy cunt!' 

"She said it so crazy-like, I knew she was insane. And I knew no one would 
believe her if she did tell anyone what I had done - and was about to do. I 
felt safe. 

"I had to leave her for a few minutes to check on my other patients and 
check the nursing station. 

"When I came back I drew the screen between the bed and the door. I kept the 
bedpan on the bed as a reason for unstrapping her legs, and for privacy. I 
retightened her chest strap after covering her nice little breasts. 

"Patty's eyes were rolling. She kept saying, 'Eat me, eat me, eat me.' 

"My heart was pounding as I got up onto the bed. I put my head down between 
her slender white thighs, and there was her pink-lipped vulva in front of my 
mouth, and it was oozing again. She was aroused again. She really needed 
relief. 

"I'd never done it before. I put my fingers there and pulled her open. It 
was all pink and shiny wet inside ... a gaping pink tunnel opening ... and 
over it - in the groove - was the stiff nodule of her clitoris ... yes, like 
a tiny glans! 

"I licked out with my tongue and stroked over the little penis. 

"Patty gasped. I licked over it again and again. It tasted different from a 
man's penis. But it wasn't bad. 

"She started to jerk and writhe in her prison of straps. She was mewing 
louder. 

"I licked faster and faster, grazing my tongue over that small glans as 
harshly and as quickly as I could. 

"Patty's body was shaking! I thought she was going into convulsions. But it 
wasn't quite the same, so I kept on licking fast and hard like that until 
she stopped shaking and whimpering. 

"Then I got off the bed quick, strapped her in again, and set things up 
normal. I left before she could order me to do anything more. 

"So far she's made me do that to her three times. I hope she dies when they 
open her skull and go cutting in her brain. 

"I've been very honest about everything. I only wish I wasn't so vulnerable 
to people. I'm all mixed up inside. I'm not happy at all, except maybe when 
I'm doing something nice for a helpless man. I don't know." 

There can be almost no question of Patty's psychoneurotic condition. What is 
most disturbing in her case is not so much her preoccupation with 
oral-genital sex as her trancelike attitude toward it, toward herself, and 
toward those whom she "services." The combination of feelings that she 
appears to have toward her charges - pathos at one point, apathy at the next 
- as well as her obvious uncertainty regarding her own true sexual nature, 
underlines her basically immature emotions and suggests even the possibility 
of a multischizoidal personality. Although the prognosis cannot be one of 
total pessimism, the indications are that Patty will have to undergo 
extensive and long-term therapy before she will be able to cope with the 
never-so-simple obstacles of emotional life. 

Chapter Two 

Phallic Worship 

"Up and down, up and down, faster now. He loves it, I can tell from the way 
his magnificent cock stays large and from the mounting tension I sense. I 
pretend that instead of a sterile white hospital bed we're sprawled 
voluptuously on gold satin sheets. Suck, suck, suck, furiously now, then 
ease it a bit, make it last, make it good for him. 

"What mounds of rippling muscles he has, thick patches of hair where hair 
should be, everything a girl could ask for. And this cock knows how to 
appreciate the delicate art of fellatio; it's an experienced cock all right. 
I wonder how it would feel inside me and wonder if I'd dare, here in the 
hospital, me, a nurse! 

"Most of all I wonder what he looks like under those bandages covering his 
face, and he's probably wondering about me. It's more exciting somehow, not 
seeing each other, not knowing each other, communicating with taps on the 
table, two taps for fresh water, please, three taps for suck me off, nurse. 
And I'm not doing this out of duty or pity, I'm doing it because I adore 
sucking cock, losing myself in the ever changing rhythms of my head, the 
constant swishing of my tongue against the warm hardness. Up and down and 
around and around I go. I love it! 

"The door's locked. The Do Not Disturb sign hangs on the knob. We have all 
the time in the world and I'll even give up my break, yes, gladly, if he 
wants to prolong it. 

"Suck, release, suck, my vacuum-cleaner mouth takes it in deeper and deeper. 
Not all seven inches, that I can't quite manage, but lots of it, while my 
left hand takes care of the rest and my right hand fondles his balls ever so 
gently. My pauses are less frequent now. He's ready for the steady, 
continuous final phase. No more teasing, just straight suck. Build up speed 
ever so gradually. Nothing harsh, no quick changes, just more and more of 
the same, titillating the shaft more all the time. No swallowing, let the 
saliva slurp, slurp. His cock is dripping with it and so are my hands. By 
now it probably feels like pussy juice to him. Ah, I wonder what his 
fantasies are. 

"Is he picturing himself, big and bronze on a deserted beach at twilight 
with a sinuous blonde, picturing the sensuous grace of her body as her head 
bobs up and down and her firm young breasts bounce ever so slightly, her 
long legs straddling his? Suddenly the beach fantasy becomes my own. I see 
his naked, hairy body not on satin sheets but on sand, the firm texture of 
his body glowing in the oblique evening light, his chest rising and falling 
as the waves rush in and out. His face, yes, dark, swarthy, eyebrows that 
match his pubic hair, full, round lips that want to eat my pussy and my 
pussy hurts for it. It hurts so much I want to take one hand away from him 
and get to the slick, tingly surface where scarcely more than a touch would 
send me into exploding ecstasies. 

"But I go on, up and down, back to the satin sheets for diversion, soul 
music coming from the hi-fi, the faint aroma of rum we'd been drinking. I'm 
the maid sucking off the lord of the manor and I'd better do it fast now for 
his wife will be home and calling for me, but it's me he loves really, this 
gem of a man loves me, and so I suck, suck, suck. 

"He's getting closer. Don't ask me how I can tell. Somewhere in his body, 
something is beginning to give way. The shaft is harder, my mouth strains 
with the fullness. Oh, God, in a moment it will all be over and I'd wanted 
it to last and last, me here forever a worshiper at the shrine of life, the 
eternal phallus. A sudden surge from within tells me to accelerate my 
motion, suck harder, faster. And now the throbbing has begun and he thrusts 
his mighty sword into my mouth. The warm liquid spurts out. My communion, my 
reward. I hold it for a few instants without swallowing, tasting its 
deli-ciousness and sucking till I'm sure I have it all, while he squirms 
relentlessly beneath me, the pulsations diminishing now. My mouth runneth 
over. And at last I take it into my throat. 

"My pussy aches for release, yet I am content for the moment in his 
contentment. I hold his spent masculinity against my face, relishing this 
brief moment of utter tranquility, but knowing that sooner or later my pussy 
will demand release, too. 

"And soon I have to leave, making the rounds of the other patients, 
exchanging a shy glance with Dr. C-, wondering if he'll ever get around to 
asking me out. He must know what a good nurse I am from the way I keep my 
patients serene and happy. 

"Most of the doctors know what goes on here. After all these patients are 
young studs, soldiers, some fresh from the Southeast Asian whorehouses and 
some who haven't had a woman in months, but all of them so ornery, you catch 
them pulling their hands out from under the sheets all the time with that 
little-boy guilty expression: Mommy, you know I wouldn't do anything bad. 
Even with some of the pretty sick ones you're apt to see the sudden rising 
of a mountain peak in the middle of the sheet when you're just there doing 
your duty. 

"Some hospitals are squeamish, I know. At the place where I did my training 
they took a guy to the psycho ward just for jacking off! Rather, for getting 
caught jacking off. My God, didn't they know that was a sign of health, not 
mental illness? 

"So I was a little surprised at the way things are handled here. Don't get 
me wrong. It's not that all this is fully, endorsed and approved by the 
staff, it's just that people are hip. 

"Shortly after I was hired, one of the guys bared a hard cock for me to see 
and pointed at it, smiling. I shook my head politely, fixed his pillow 
faster than usual and ran down the hall. I demanded to see the doctor on the 
ward, and when he finally had time to speak with me I told him. 

"I think the patient wanted me to perform a sex act, fellation, perhaps,' I 
said. 

"He nodded gravely. 'You're new, aren't you? 

"Yes,' I said. 

"The needs of these young men are great. The chances of anyone's becoming 
violent are rather slim. We screen patients carefully, although sometimes 
mental disturbances do occur in a hospital setting. Don't worry about being 
hurt.' 

"He hesitated a moment before going on. 'We don't ask that our nurses be 
prostitutes. You're not demanded anything beyond your assigned duties. But 
some of the girls here feel such great sympathy for their patients that they 
go beyond the call of duty, if you know what I mean. Usually it's quite 
discreet. One doesn't speak of it to, say, the head of nursing. One closes 
ones eyes. Now forget that I have told you any of this. You're old enough to 
have figured it out for yourself.' 

"I guess that was when I started to respect doctors again. I'd hated them, 
refused even to go out with interns when I was in training, because they 
treated us like slaves. I resented it all the more because I'd wanted to be 
a doctor myself once and I had all the qualifications except a rich father 
and a prick. A rich-father will pay for medical school and being male will 
get you a scholarship. Well, I lucked out. Instead of 

Dr. S-, I'm Maria S-, R.N., a hospital whore. I don't make as much money as 
a doctor or a high-class whore, which I'm sure I could be, but I have fun 
and respectability. Who could ask for more? But now and then my bitterness 
shows. 

"I don't suck everybody's cock, of course. Some of the other girls do it, 
some know about it and don't, and a few don't know about it. The problem is 
keeping it a secret from the nurses who don't know about it and wouldn't 
understand. No. 8, with the bandages on his face is a guy I dug from the 
first time I gave him a bath and saw the glorious architecture of his body. 
Little did I know that while his face was all bandaged up he'd develop a 
code to ask for it. No. 14 is nice, too, a bright college kid who got zapped 
by the draft when his grades dropped. We have kind of a good thing going, in 
spite of his being about four years younger than me. 

"Most of the guys flirt and really work hard to get something going. Now, 
No. 14 just asked me one day if he could talk dirty. 

"Sure,'I said. 'I won't tell.' 

"If you weren't a nurse, I'd fuck you,' he said. 

"What you mean,' I returned, 'is that if your right leg weren't in tension 
you'd fuck me. Right?' 

"Come to think of it, I'd have a pretty hard time, wouldn't I?' He surveyed 
the gear that held his leg pointed upward. 'But I'd really like to. I 
wouldn't just fuck you, I'd make love to you. Would you believe I lie here 
thinking about it, thinking about you and what you'd be like?' 

"I smiled. 'Do you talk to all the nurses that way?' 

"You bet your, life I don't. Some of them would slap me in the face, me a 
sick man, returned from serving my country.' 

"There's a sort of an unspoken rule that a guy doesn't get it from more than 
one nurse, because there aren't nearly enough nurses to go around and we 
have our jealousies, too. Some nurses get romantic and stick to one guy, 
which is rather selfish of them. But we all pretend that the guy we're with 
is the only one getting our favors, in fact, the only guy in the hospital 
getting such favors, hoping they won't compare notes and create a scandal 
once they get out. 

"Well, to make a long story short, while No. 14 was telling me I was 
beautiful and intelligent and everything, I got closer and closer to the 
bulging monument beneath the sheet. 

"I looked at him and suddenly his face was agonized with desire. 'Would you? 
Could you? I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have asked."Shut up and get sucked 
off,' I said. "He laughed. 'You're something, all right."Wait and see what 
you think when I'm finished,' I told him. 

"I whipped back the sheet and carefully maneuvered the hospital gown out of 
the way. And there before me was his cock, reaching upward like a church 
spire, set in the finest nest of reddish blond hair. I took it in my hands 
and gently moved the loose flesh up and down. 

"God, you don't know how long it's been,' he muttered. 

"Tell me about Oriental women. Is it true?' 

"Honey, they'll do it sideways, assways, anyways, or that's what the fellows 
tell me. Now I wouldn't know." 

"You're putting me on.' 

"I'm not. I'd sworn to be true forever to a pretty girl in Wyoming and she 
shafted me for a rich rancher.' 

"He sounded serious, but I wasn't sure. Anyway, I said, 'Don't cry tears, 
baby, cry sperm. That'll do us both more good.' 

"Let me kiss you first,' he begged. 

"That made me feel all soft and tender. Some guys are still romantic in the 
old-fashioned way and I rather like it even if I'm not exactly romantic. 

"Our lips met, mine on top of his and almost instantly our mouths opened and 
we exchanged tongue, mingling our saliva, passionately twisting our faces 
together. His hand reached to one of my breasts, which was about as far as 
he could reach, and beneath me I could feel the furious pounding of his 
heart. At last we separated, exchanging a glance of warmth and tenderness. 

"I liked this guy, but, of course, I wasn't going to get hung up. And for me 
sucking a cock isn't romantic in the usual way, it's a kind of erotic 
religion or something. In giving myself this way I purge myself of my 
disappointments and bitterness. So I not only give, I take. I feed on these 
sick guys, not only eating their high-protein sperm but letting them give me 
something that nourishes my depraved - oops, I meant to say deprived soul. 

"I looked again at that glorious tool, upright as ever. Then I waved my hand 
over it and watched as it moved toward my fingers. An involuntary reaction, 
of course, but I like to dispense with scientific explanations and pretend 
it's magic. His cock is drawn to my hand by mysterious powers beyond his or 
my control. And the same is true with my mouth. I approach the lower edge of 
the bed, then lean over with my tongue hanging out. And it reaches for my 
tongue; it wants it. 

"I can hardly wait to get it in my mouth, but I don't forget the usual 
precautions, locking the door and putting out the sign so nobody will come 
in. It's amazing that some of the old girls on this floor don't know what 
that sign means. They think it's for enemas or something - well, there are 
guys who get their kicks that way, but they're just not of the same caliber 
as guys who want to get sucked off. 

"I savor the sight of that tough, purple member for as long as I can stand 
it. It's going to be awkward since I don't dare sit on the bed, but I can 
lean over. And so I do. Anxious as I am I do it in sensuous slow motion, my 
mouth greedily opened and ready for its ritual meal. 

"Oh, baby,' he groans. 

"I don't answer. I just lower my gaping mouth to the head of it. Instead of 
clamping down hard, I let my tongue travel in tiny circles, teasingly, 
gradually centering in on his most sensitive spot. And when I get to that 
tender ridge he howls like a dog who's just heard a siren. So I dart away, 
lapping at the sides, the edge of the crown, everywhere but where he really 
wants it most. Too much too fast and I'd have a mouthful of love-juice in 
seconds and a rather embarrassed guy. 

"This must be sustained. That's the secret, giving a guy just enough to keep 
him excited, making him wait in exquisite suspense while his mind carries 
him to his favorite fetishes and fantasies. The bigger the buildup, the 
bigger the explosion. 

"I make my tongue almost as pointed as a pencil and explore the varied 
landscape of bumps and ridges with the curiosity of someone just landed on 
an unknown planet. Every cock has its own special character, unique and 
indescribable. It's not a question of some being superior to others; my own 
peculiar perversion is that I love them all. Each time the'one I happen to 
be sucking is the greatest and most beautiful cock in the world. 

"Do you know what you're doing to me?' he groans now with the slurred speech 
of a man losing his rational powers. 

"I smile back at him with my eyes, just the slightest squint. Nothing could 
make me take my mouth away from what I am doing. 

"And I continue with the delicate preliminaries, knowing that I'm driving 
him wild but not stimulating him too much. God, I wish he'd tell me what 
he's thinking. I don't care whether he thinks of me or not. I hope that I 
evoke the most madly erotic imaginings from the inner reaches of his mind, 
stirring desires he didn't know existed. Yes, he probably had an aunt or a 
cousin, a little older and very sexy in her Western riding boots and all. 
She broke hearts as easily as teacups, ah, but to her younger sweet young 
male relative, she was always good. She was kind and gave him candy, never 
dreaming that he spent hour after hour in the privy, imagining her with her 
legs spread apart, her boots still on - and faster and faster he jerked his 
arm until the geyser of sperm let him know he was really a man and he didn't 
care what the preacher said or what anybody said because he knew damn well 
it wouldn't drive him insane permanently only for a few moments and it was 
well worth it____ 

"How well I know how a man thinks and feels. Is there something wrong in 
that? My fantasizing their fantasies? Surely not, surely it's because I like 
giving, I like cocksucking, I like men. Yet I rarely have lovers, on the 
outside, that is. 

"He wants more. I know now that his mind has departed for some remote world 
of pure eroticism and he wants me to take all of him in my mouth at last. At 
last! 

"But slowly, very slowly I lower my tensed lips over this marvelous prong, 
protecting its delicate flesh from my teeth. 

"Suck,' he screams almost. 'Suck! Suck! Suck me!' 

"For a fleeting, insignificant moment I hope that no one is passing by the 
door.... Then I suck, pulling upward, oh so tenderly, scarcely moving the 
loose flesh, then down, down, down, as far as I can go, wishing I could get 
it all in. Up again, slowly, and down, teasingly, with what must be almost 
excruciating sensuousness for him. Because he's dying with anticipation for 
more, his mind a step ahead of what I'm doing. Is it torture? Who's to say?" 

In listening to the narrative of this young nurse the most striking feature 
is not the acts she is describing, but the language she is describing them 
in. Her appearance is quite sweet, almost virginal. The archetypal 
ail-American girl, complete with rosy cheeks and a creamy white complexion. 

Considering the situation, though, it is quite possible that her choice of 
words, the bluntness of her description, her use of the "gutter" Anglo-Saxon 
terminology, has a deep psychological reason. As C.G. Jung pointed out in 
his Basic Writings: 

Common speech, as we know, is full of erotic metaphors which are applied to 
matters that have nothing to do with sex; and conversely, sexual symbolism 
by no means implies that the interests making use of it are by nature 
erotic. Sex, as one of the most important instincts, is the prime cause of 
numerous affects that exert an abiding influence on our speech. But affects 
cannot be identified with sexuality inasmuch as they may easily spring from 
conflict situations. 

Upon close study of the narrative we find that there are several quite 
unusual factors. To start with, the subject makes very little attempt to 
justify her acts. She states that she performs oral sex on her patients 
simply because she enjoys it. The only slight traces of justifiction shown 
are her statements that the hospital staff is generally aware that the 
nurses are performing oral sex on the patients, with covert encouragement 
from the doctors. 

Another unusual factor is her constant fantasies during the performance of 
the oral sex act. This indicates that, while she repeatedly and emphatically 
states that she performs the act simply because she enjoys it, she actually 
has some very deep-seated emotional conflicts which she brings to the 
surface during the sexual episodes. Inside, she is actually wishing that she 
was someplace else, doing something different, with someone else. Add to 
this her statements that she usually receives sexual gratification and 
release only from masturbation, and a new pattern begins to form. 

Her initial statements make her appear to be a thorough heterosexual, but 
consider the remarks of Dr. G. Wilson Shaffer in the Textbook of Abnormal 
Psychology: 

The delay or non-satisfaction of a desire may result in organic changes so 
that the desire may be manifested in a totally different way or it may 
abolish the desire. 

As she continues her narrative she begins to mention another woman, the 
mentions becoming more and more frequent, and finally admits to a lesbian 
experience. It now becomes obvious that she received enjoyment from this 
lesbian experience, an enjoyment that has led to tremendous guilt feelings 
and frustration, eliminating her ability to receive sexual satisfaction from 
a man. 

This is not to say that she is a lesbian. Quite the contrary, there are 
strong indications that she does not have any tendencies in this direction. 
She has simply fallen into a trap such as was clearly described by W.A. 
Glassner in the American Psychiatric Journal: 

It is unfortunate that many women enter into a lesbian relationship, 
thinking that they are lesbians, when actually they were only caught in a 
homosexual situation at a time when they were emotionally vulnerable. The 
common situation is one where the woman is having difficulty in sexual 
relations for either physical or emotional reasons, usually quite temporary. 
During this period she becomes involved in a lesbian episode, and receives 
enjoyment from it. Afterwards she is assailed by guilt, and later, to 
resolve these guilt feelings, she admits to herself, quite erroneously, that 
she is a lesbian. Quite often the woman will go along for several years, 
unhappily saddled with a heterosexual relationship which she cannot enjoy 
because she believes herself to be a lesbian. 

As her narrative continues, one fact which emerges quite strongly, although 
it is never stated outright and there is strong indication that the subject 
is not even fully aware of it, is that she is really quite unhappy, without 
having the slightest idea why. Her fantasies are used as a mental trick to 
hide this fact from her own conscious mind, and her language and apparent 
honesty are used to conceal this fact from others. As Ray B. Radney states 
in Behavioral Patterns: 

Nowhere outside the field of sexual behav- I ior is the tendency to conceal 
unpleasant facts, both from self and from others, so prevalent. The ability 
of the mind to refuse to consciously accept facts, while at the same time 
consciously hiding those same facts from the scrutiny of others, is a never 
ending source of wonder to me. 

As the subject's narrative ends, it is encouraging to note that she has 
finally realized that she does have some serious emotional problems, 
although she had not yet fully accepted them, and their consequences. The 
indications are that she will be able to resolve her problems, though, and 
along with them the mental turmoil which is affecting so much of her life. 
She was able to achieve, for the first time in quite a while, a heterosexual 
relationship to the point of sexual gratification without having to resort 
to the subterfuge of fantasy to replace the object which gave her the 
gratification she sought. 

"Up and down, again and again, speeding up by such fine degrees that he 
doesnt notice. The minuteness of it all, the utter precision, all this I've 
learned and practiced to perfection. God, if the hospital administration 
only knew that cocksucking is as delicate as surgery, with rules all its own 
that must be obeyed. Surgery? Oh, I know that may sound strange. Before you 
try to make something out of it, let me remind you that I wanted to be a 
doctor before I entered the sacred prostitution - sacred profession of 
nursing. 

"All glory to the phallus, giver of the seed of life, magnificent in shape 
and proportion, issuing forth to all those who worship at its shrine the 
holy juices of ultimate redemption. Faster now along the tall and narrow 
human shrine where I worship, faster and faster, up and down, take in more 
and more. I'm lost now in the sheer joy of doing it, aware only of one other 
thing, the burning between my legs, the desire for complete union with this 
fantastic instrument. 

"He's trying to move now, I steady him, and he doesn't dare. It's for me to 
do it all. He's too close so I slow down just a little, enough to swirl my 
tongue around, knowing that the rough surface will both distract and excite 
him. His cock is as wet as though he'd already come, even the downy hair 
surrounding it is moist. Strange, how this generates the flow of saliva; 
they don't tell you about that in biology. It's food, all right, but, my 
God, it's so much more than food. 

"Give it to me, honey, give it to me,' he pleads. 

"So I really suck, the same up-and-down motion as before, the same rhythm, 
only now with a pull from inside my mouth that creates more pressure against 
the tenderness of his prick. And I'm loving every blessed second of it now, 
my head bouncing wildly as I pull and sink down on him with ever increasing 
speed and tension. My head is dizzy from the fast rhythm. I'm in sheer 
ecstasy, for I know that the greatest moment of all is close at hand. My 
God, sometimes I think I'm going to come, too. Simultaneous orgasm without a 
thing touching my pussy. That's how far out I can get. 

"I use my hands to steady him so there's no chance of injuring him in the 
violent climax I'm sure he's about to have. He's on the very verge of it, 
I'm sure of that, just as I'm sure he's hoping to postpone it as long as he 
can, languishing in these final moments so far removed from the everyday 
world, so beautiful. 

"I keep my rhythm steady. When it happens, it will happen. I could make it 
happen, of course, but I want this to be like a bolt of lightning striking 
from the sky, something that neither of us willed, something that occurred 
without human intervention. And, oh-my-God, it is happening. Now, now, now! 
The juices shoot through the stalk as though at the pull of a trigger and 
the magnificent organ in my mouth convulses uncontrollably. I hold the rest 
of him still while his cock gyrates wildly, the semen spurting into my 
anxious mouth and filling it, dripping out of my lips and down his cock 
again. He's been saving a lot for me. I drink it in at last, partaking with 
reverence. 

"I wanted to hold his beautiful organ in my hands and admire it, but he 
beckoned me to come to the head of the bed. 

"I smell wet pussy,' he whispered as I got close to him. 

"He was right. I could even detect the musky odor of cunt juice from under 
my starched uniform myself. 

"Would you let me?' he asked. 

"I - I - ' My God, I almost said I've never let that happen, which was true. 
I'd always given, never received as far as the patients are concerned. 

"I have to get back to work,' I said at last. "Please let me.' 

"I was confused about what to do. The truth is I don't often make it with 
guys, especially this way for some reason. Maybe I know the reason. What I 
do is masturbate and fantasize. What if I didn't make it? That would make 
him feel terrible, I knew. 

"Please,' he said. 

"I worried vaguely too about the chances of getting caught. Now getting 
caught going down on a guy would be easy enough to cover up by a quick grab 
of the sheet. While straddling a patient's face is a little hard to make 
excuses for. 

"But, damn it, my pussy was hot and in the back of my mind was the hope, as 
there always is, maybe this time.... 

"We were kissing again, my sperm-soaked mouth against his lips, then both 
our mouths opening, the surfaces of our tongues gliding together, then his 
tongue darting about madly as though to show me what it could do to my 
pussy. I couldn't resist. 

"It's what he wants, I kept telling myself, as I rolled down my panty hose, 
the most antisex-ual contraption ever invented. God, it's worse than 
slipping in a diaphragm. He needs this too, Maria. You aren't being selfish. 
It's all right. I left my uniform and my cap on, partly for safety's sake, 
in case I'd have to make a quick leap from the bed, and partly because I 
know the virgin white of a nurse's uniform is one terriffic turn-on. Or so 
I've been told. 

"So I mounted the pillow, my sopping cunt spread above his face, still 
harboring slight fears of various kinds. This was new. But damn, if he 
couldn't do it, I could pitch in and help with my own hands. Guys did that 
plenty of times before I really learned how to suck cocks. 

"His fingertips gently traversed the moist surface, examining every tiny 
crevice and bump as though he didn't know what pussies were like. I was sure 
hoping he knew, though. He stroked gently, though, like a man who's had 
plenty of experience. My tender flesh tingled at every touch. Yes, he knew 
how to make me want more. He could read my mind as I had read his and knew 
that the ultimate arousal lies in anticipation of going a step further, 
imagining that step, craving it ... a low scream rising within, yes, he 
knew. 

"He had not yet touched my clitoris. He circled it, rubbed the lips around 
it, approached it only to turn back as though it were something too scared 
to be touched causually with lingers and harsh fingernails. And all I could 
think of was how his tongue, with its rough and slick surface would feel 
licking and lapping at it. 

"He made me wait a few moments longer before gesturing for me to lower 
myself, which I did gladly. His tongue was magnificently agile. He could 
twirl it in any direction, point it, make a tunnel out of the middle of it. 
God, what a tongue. Again, though, he avoided my clitoris with what seemed 
to be deliberate intention. 

"What if he doesn't know? Oh, my God, what if he thinks it's all in the 
vagina, that horrible myth that frustrated at lease one generation of women 
after being told all their troubles were sexual anyway! Probably some guys 
think girls are just cunts, holes, receptacles with nothing external that 
really counts. I'd soon know where he stood and I was going to be terribly 
disappointed if he happened to be one of the unenlightened ones. 

"But he knew, of course, he knew. How silly of me to have thought otherwise. 
His tongue was now getting closer and closer, no not yet touching, but 
approaching, teasing. And as I waited, utterly distraught by the suspense, I 
knew my clitoris was bulging outward more and more, the blood rushing to it, 
making it hard and erect even though he still hadn't touched it at all. What 
fantastic agony! What expertise he had! So few, so very few men really know 
how to lift a girl to such heights of sensation. 

"More! More!' I yelled at last, unable to contain myself. 

"Now he brought his teeth against me, against the lips, the edges. His 
tongue was pointed directly at my clit, I was sure, and I wished I could 
make this small but magifi-cently sensitive organ of mine larger, wished I 
could make it reach out to that tongue, for that was what I wanted now more 
than anything else in the whole world. Either the scraping of the top of his 
tongue or the wet softness underneath would do. Anything! Anything! Please, 
can't you tell how I'm dying for it, perishing at your exquisite torture. 
Please give me more, give me what I want, hurt me if you must, but do 
something here where I need it so badly. 

"No, I said none of this out loud, somehow feeling that I should hide the 
extreme desperation of my desires. I wondered how much he understood of what 
I really felt, really craved. He seemed so certain of his technique. So are 
other men, but this one really had a right to be confident. He knew how to 
drive a girl wild. 

"His teeth gnawed at me hungrily. He loves this, I know, loves this the way 
I love to suck cock. For its own sake and nothing else. 

"His tongue, oh, my God, how close it gets, then stops just short of the 
goal. Closer and closer. Now? Almost, yes, but he whips it away again. Oh, 
the bastard, the beautiful bastard. 

"Ohhhhhhhh,' I scream, totally forgetting where I am and who I am, for he 
has just grazed the tender underside of it, yes, right where I want it and I 
want more. More! 

"And now his tongue darts alternately from my clit to my hole, not lingering 
at either spot, making me hotter and hotter in both places. And it's good. 
Each spot is so sensitized now that I hardly know which I prefer. Fast and 
furious he works, this marvelous lover. 

"Back and forth from my hole to my clit, clit to hole, again and again with 
swiftness and concentration such as I thought no man was capable of. 

"Why do I say that? As I thought no man was . . . ? Because I've had so 
little success with men, sexually, I mean. Only a few do it right, somehow. 

"And I'll confess - I have to, don't I? - what I thought of as my No. 14, my 
hospital lover, was giving me these delightful ministrations. Yes, I stopped 
thinking of him. I remembered Claudine and the time we went to Big Sur and 
camped on the beach. 

"I'm not a lesbian. I've never had an experience of that sort before or 
since, but I have a hard time forgetting it----" 

"We were friends, nothing more, and I never expected anything out of the 
ordinary to happen. But we were so alike, both brunette, slender, slim 
legged, firm breasted. Looking at her was like looking in a mirror somehow. 

"Yes, as his tongue lapped at me furiously I remembered waking up to the 
sound of the rushing waves to feel Claudine's soft fingertips prying apart 
my thighs. It was like a dream, and anything can happen in dreams, so I 
didn't protest. In fact, I had no idea that it was real. I lay there as her 
fingers progressed from my thighs to the tender flesh between, which was 
wet, terribly wet. 

"And I remember her whispering, 'We both want this,' clasping me in her arms 
as she did so. 

"And I think I said, 'Yes.' 

"Yes,' that's what I was saying now to my hospital lover, my No. 14, and 
somehow it was as though I was saying it again to Claudine. 

"His tongue, all curled and pointed, penetrated my gaping hole, prodding as 
deeply as it could, scraping the sides, making me think of cock, how great 
it would be to have a cock inside me, his cock, anybody's cock____ 

"But as he drew his tongue out, my memories of Claudine returned, for now he 
was very gently sucking at me, sort of drawing my clit into him. I remember 
how I felt when Claudine did that, so expertly, so much better than any man 
had ever done. How beautiful it was as we lay there, our supple bodies 
entwined, as she did everything I'd always wanted, knowing what to do, for 
she too was a woman, a creature so like me, my mirror image. And strangely, 
as she lay on top of me, grinding her mound against mine in a desperate 
attempt to get closer, closer than was possible, I wished that she had a 
penis, for somehow it was not quite enough.... 

"Then, the darting and the lapping of her tongue into me as far as it would 
go, and I pretended it was a penis. How strange, how incredible it all was! 
And how feverishly passionate I became, squirming against her and thrusting 
my clitoris against her, wishing it were larger, wishing there was someway 
we could really fit, just as I was squirming against this anonymous creature 
under me now, wanting more and more. 

"Claudine knew how to make up for my impossible longings, for the feverish 
lashing of her tongue drove me to heights of pleasure hitherto unknown. 
Tinglings of sensation that traveled up my spine and even made the back of 
my head feel strange. Fire and ice, that's what it was like, the extremes of 
sensation, the oppo-sites that converge in the wildest possible of 
ecstasies. 

"Oh, Claudine ... why must I think of Claudine? Why can't I focus on this 
nice young male creature beneath me, whose tongue is so very like hers? Why? 
But I must. Even as he sucks so gently, bites without giving pain, produces 
every perfect sensation, I remember the rushing of the waves, the dim 
quarter-moon, the uniting of two bodies so much alike. 

"Faster and faster, ever more deliciously, traversing only the underside of 
my clit before sinking into my hole. What a tongue! What tingling! My whole 
body trembling now, I squirm. I thrust, even. I don't care what I do, I'm 
going to get mine. I close my eyes and it's Claudine's face I see as my body 
becomes lost in sheer rapture. 

"Now, yes, a slight pounding, rising from somewhere deep inside me. The best 
of an ancient drum, the beat of a heart, the rhythm of the universe and 
somehow it's Claudine's tongue that is evoking this, bringing me to this 
point of no return. My pussy swells and expands and for one brief moment 
it's like hearing a high-pitched sound, a primal cry, yes, accompanied by a 
flash of light and the blessing of the gods. For I have passed the gateway 
to paradise now. I hover on the very brink, the headlong precipice. 

"And I plunge downward once more, way down, down, down, my pussy breaking 
into a flurry of shudders, pounding, pulsating, throbbing ... like the waves 
that crash. Claudine! 

"And suddenly I'm sobbing. Not because it isn't Claudine, I knew that all 
along, but because I've deceived this young man, this perfect young man. 
Deceived him because he alone couldn't do what it took, only my fantasy, my 
recurrent fantasy could get me there. 

"Hey, remember I'm a sick man,' he was saying. 

"Did I hurt you?' I gasped fearfully, my sobs ceasing. 

"No, but you surprised me a little. That was strong. With most girls it's 
never that strong, no matter how hard you try. It was great!' 

"Yeah, it was,' I said quietly, smiling down at his youthful, handsome face. 

"And I loved it. I loved it every bit as much as you did. Don't forget 
that.' 

"I had to hurry back to the main station and get on with my chores. But that 
wasn't the only time this kind of thing happened. Yes, I usually made 
excuses, tried to avoid it, then succumbed to his expert treatment which 
brought me to pinnacles of passion no less intense than that first time. One 
of these days he'll be discharged and I'll be sorry to see him go. Because 
he got me over the fear that I might really be a lesbian. He really did, by 
eventually making me respond to him. Of course, I kept sucking his cock, 
just as fervently as ever.... 

"As for No. 8, it was a big day for me when I heard his bandages were to be 
taken off. I could hardly wait to see if his face was everything it should 
be to go with that marvelously structured body of his. And I'd been sucking 
him off practically every day, never knowing what he looked like. 

"I wasn't on hand for the removal of the bandages, though both a surgical 
nurse and a doctor were. I tried to suppress my interest when they returned 
from the room to note the progress on his chart. 

"Of course, I was prepared for the worst. Possibility of plastic surgery, 
loss of sight - either of these were things that could happen. His speech 
should be normal, though, for there'd been no severe throat injury, only a 
broken jaw. 

"I waited for the earliest possible opportunity to go see him, not wanting 
to hear the news from someone else. At last I crept to his room. 

"I wasn't disappointed, for there on the pillow was the swarthy face I'd 
expected, full cheeked with excellent bone structure. His eyebrows, which 
had been shaved, were growing in thick and heavy, dark, of course, like the 
rest of his hair. And I knew from his eyes that he could see. There was an 
instant response, though, of course, he didn't know that I was the nurse, 
the one who'd been sucking him off all this time. 

"I let him know by means of the signal he'd given me, three taps on the 
table. And he smiled weakly. His face probably still hurt, I realized, but 
he seemed pleased at seeing me. 

"I went to the door, put out the sign and pushed in the lock. Then I 
approached the lower edge of the bed. Without even peaking under the covers 
I could tell that old faithful was rising. Then I lifted the sheet. 

"There it was, the object of my cock worship, tall, thick, and hard. Slowly 
I approached it with my hungry lips. I looked at his face now to see how he 
was responding to my uninvited overture. 

"Much to my surprise, he was shaking his head. I was crushed, really 
crushed. 

"It's not that I don't like you,' he said in a voice that was scarcely more 
than a whisper. 'It's that I love you.' 

"I was stricken. Flattered, of course, but disturbed. What was I going to do 
now. I didn't dare let him get hung up, serious. 

"Yes, he tried to talk me into marrying him, telling me about the property 
he'd inherited in Alabama and how we could raise peaches and children and 
all that. Oh, God, he thought I was just another cunt. Just another 
husband-hungry cunt. He was soon transferred to another ward, and though I 
promised to come see him, I didn't. I hoped that there he'd meet some nurse 
who was ready and willing to accept what he had to offer. 

"Because I was a long way from being ready for marriage of any kind, wasn't 
I? Of course, the Alabama bit would have been all wrong, but so would any 
kind of permanent commitment just then. 

"Yes, the day I started sobbing hysterically for no reason at all in the 
nurses' lounge, one of the other nurses, one of the cock-sucking nurses came 
up and said to me, 'Gets to you after a while, doesn't it?' 

"That's all she said, but I knew what she meant. I wasn't sure what was 
wrong, but I knew very well something was." 

The fact that Maria recognizes a problem in her sexual nature is encouraging 
in itself. Her subconscious longing for love, affection, and, through those, 
a more meaningful personal relationship, is apparent from her search for 
fulfillment through sexual liaisons, and is a healthy sign. It is more than 
likely that her obsessive remembrance of the lesbian tryst with Claudine - 
the first sexual encounter in which she had, judging from her narration, 
been able to attain orgasm - was a mental block the memory of which provoked 
doubts in her mind concerning her basically heterosexual nature. Her sexual 
success with the patient she refers to as "No. 14," however, was a 
definitely positive step. The oral nature of the relationship, although 
appearing to be strongly compulsive-obsessive, will probably, with proper 
therapy, be sublimated to its proper perspective and out of the potentially 
perverse position it has occupied in Maria's libido. Overall, the prognosis 
has to be one of optimism. 

Chapter Three 

A Woman's Touch 

"The room I was in was so obviously a man's room, in spite of all the 
expensive trinkets and furniture, that I would have known there was no Mrs. 
B-even if the agency hadn't told me. 

"You look very young to be an experienced nurse,' the tall, graying man 
commented finally, after giving me a thorough looking over. 'My son is 
unable to walk, and since I travel a great deal and the housekeeper is only 
here days, I need a dependable nurse to stay with Robert. A woman as young, 
as - well, attractive as you would want to date, I should think. I need 
someone full time.' 

"I felt a moment of pure panic. I had to get this job. I had less than a 
dollar in my purse, no place to stay, and a maniac husband I was trying to 
avoid. 'Mr. B-,' I stammered, hoping my desperation didn't show, 'this is 
exactly the sort of job I want. I've left my husband and intend getting a 
divorce. I'm not interested in running around or dating. It's true I haven't 
had much experience as a nurse, and all of that caring for elderly people, 
but I'm sure I can take care of your son. From what the agency said, I 
assume you needed someone who would be on hand at all times, more a live-in 
baby-sitter, really, than a nurse. I'm very dependable. If you'd like to 
hire me on a trial basis, that would be all right.' I had to get this job! 

"Let me introduce you to my son. I think the trial basis is a good idea. 
Let's say a week. By then we should know if it's going to work or not.' 

"I was so relieved I was nearly skipping as I followed Mr. B-down the hall. 

"Rob? This is Irene T-. Your new nurse.' 

"He was buried in a book, which he reluctantly laid aside. I was surprised 
to see that Robert was about my own age. He was very handsome, with dark 
unsmiling eyes which burned right through me. 'She'll do, Dad,' he said 
finally. Then he turned back to his book and I was free to go to my room and 
put away my pathetically few belongings. 

"The job would be easy. Outside of accompanying Robert on his infrequent 
wheelchair trips around the estate, I had only to administer medicine, keep 
Robert clean, comfortable and amused, and be on the grounds at all times. I 
sat down on the comfortable bed and tried to piece together the events which 
had brought me to this house. 

"Three nights before, I had been unfaithful for the first time in four years 
of marriage. Three nights before, I had been caught in the act of being 
unfaithful, and my husband had attempted to beat my ass blue. 

"I guess the whole thing started before I married Tom. Why I married him is 
a mystery. We'd gone to bed a half-dozen times, and each time it had been 
the same. He would grab me, spread my legs, pump his come into my womb, then 
roll off and go to sleep. Tom was handsome, though, and he excited me. I 
wasn't a virgin the first time with Tom, but none of the guys I'd slept with 
were much better, either. Besides, I guess I thought I could teach Tom the 
right way to love me after we were married. 

"That was a joke. On me. Tom loved to fuck. His way. He wanted it nearly 
every night, and every night it was the same. He'd feel the need, grab me, 
take off whatever clothing was directly in the way, then fuck me, jamming 
his big prick up me fast and hard until he shot his load into me. Then he 
would roll off and fall into a snoring, contented sleep, leaving me 
wide-awake on the bed, nerves screaming, pussy wet and empty. Once in a 
while I'd be so frantically in need I'd manage to come as soon as he plunged 
that dick of his into my cunt, but usually I'd fall asleep unfulfilled and 
miserable. Tom was one of those men who thought that any sex other than 
fucking was abnormal, and the first beating he ever gave me was when I 
timidly suggested he kiss my pussy before fucking it, to get me in the mood. 
I forgave him afterwards, figuring that he had been pretty drunk. But I 
never suggested any novel sex games again after that. 

"That's why my first 'introduction' to Greg was so funny. Tom had met him in 
some bar, brought him home for a drink, and listened to him relate, in 
exquisite detail, the blow job he'd been given a few nights before. I had 
already gone to bed, but not to sleep. Tom's fucking of the night before had 
left me tense and aching, and I'd decided to take care of it my own way. My 
hand was getting me all worked up when the two of them came in. They went to 
the kitchen and began to drink. I kept very still, hoping Tom would think I 
was asleep. 

"Greg's voice was deep. Soon I was listening. It disgusted me that Tom was 
egging Greg on to give details When I knew how he looked down on people who 
used their mouths sexually. 

"In spite of my disgust, though, I found myself getting excited as Greg 
raved about how this girl had sucked his cock. I became so hot I started 
playing with myself again, sure that neither man would come anywhere near 
the bedroom. Soon I was so worked up that I couldn't hear their words 
anymore, so I drifted off on a little fantasy of my own, imagining myself 
the girl Greg was talking about. What would it be like to suck cock? 
Obviously she had enjoyed it. I thought about parting my lips and letting a 
big penis penetrate my mouth while I rubbed my stiff little clitoris. The 
image didn't turn me off. Far from it. I could almost taste the massive 
prick, could almost feel the big slippery head enter my throat.... I 
recalled a time when I wondered what Tom would do if I woke him up from his 
nap by kissing his cock. But I hadn't dared.... The girl Greg was talking 
about might have dared.... 

"I was totally wrapped up in my thoughts and the wonderful sensation between 
my legs, so wrapped up that I failed to notice that no sound was coming from 
the other room. It wasn't until the door burst open and Greg staggered into 
the room that I came out of it. But it was too late. I reached for the 
sheet, but Greg pushed it away. Through the opened door I saw Tom bent over 
the kitchen table, snoring deeply. 

"Greg sat down on the bed, his eyes all over me. 'You were listening to us 
talk, huh?' he asked, his eyes centering on my naked tits. 

"I tried once again to cover myself, but suddenly it didn't matter as much. 
A warm flush colored my skin, and I found myself noticing how handsome Greg 
was, how well he was built. Tom was out cold. He probably wouldn't wake up 
for hours. Maybe not until morning. This wouldn't be the first time he'd 
spent the night on a chair. Then Greg reached out and began to squeeze one 
of my breasts. I forgot all about Tom. 

"Yeah, you were listening.' He grinned drunk-enly at me and squeezed harder. 
'Ever suck cock, honey?' He began to fumble with his pants. 'I hear you're a 
nurse....' 

"In the near darkness I watched, fascinated, as he pulled his enormous prick 
out of his pants. It was hard and blunt-headed. He waved it in my direction 
like a magic wand. 

"Why don't you nurse on this awhile?' Greg reached for my head and pulled me 
to him. 'But first....' His lips crushed mine and his tongue filled my 
mouth. I let him kiss me, powerless to resist, feeling my body turn hot and 
cold by turns as the rough fabric of his clothing rubbed against my 
nakedness. 

"Then his hand tightened on the nape of my neck and I was being propelled 
towards his throbbing cock. The head of it pressed demand-ingly against my 
lips, and a bitter-sweet scent of male sweat was everywhere. I don't know 
what happened to me, but all of a sudden I was aware of the pain in his huge 
prick, the straining need, and I knew that by opening my mouth and taking it 
inside I could relieve that terrible, wonderful pressure. And I wanted to! I 
wanted to almost as much as he wanted me to. I let my lips relax, and almost 
at once I was being invaded. The broad knob shoved its way into my mouth, 
then down to my throat while the rest of him filled my mouth. It was like 
being fucked for the first time, only more so, more personal, as I could 
feel with my sensitive tongue every cell of the giant prick lodged in my 
mouth. 

"He just had me hold still, giving his cock a chance to rest in my mouth. I 
felt unbelievably wild and free, spread out naked on the bed with an 
enormous prick between my lips while my husband slept unaware in the next 
room. My pussy was thick with the juice of my excitement, and I couldn't 
seem to control my legs. Then Greg began rocking his prick back and forth in 
my mouth, and without expecting it or thinking about it at all, I came, a 
hot bubble of passion so full it burst without warning. I moaned as Greg, 
unaware of my unexpected orgasm, continued rocking his prick in my mouth. 

"I'd never given that much thought to cock-sucking before. Unlike Tom, I had 
no big ideas of what was normal and what wasn't, but never did I imagine it 
could be anything like this. Sucking Greg's cock was the most erotic thing 
I'd ever done, and I never wanted to stop. I knew I was only seconds away 
from my next orgasm. I could feel its warning tingles. I guess Greg was 
close to coming also, though his dick had only been in me a few minutes, 
because neither of us heard Tom get up. 

"The next few minutes were a nightmare of screaming and pain. Tom ripped me 
away from Greg. His hand crashed across my cheek and his voice was a roar in 
my ear. Then another blow struck and I was on the floor. My naked ass was a 
fine target for his rage. I was screaming and waiting for the next blow when 
I realized that Tom was fighting Greg. Seeing my chance, I grabbed some 
clothing and ran, dressing in the front hall while I grabbed my purse, a 
coat, and a few dollars. I'd spent the next two nights in cheap hotels, and 
now I was safe and sound, tucked away in the B-'s elegant home. 

"I stretched on the bed and smiled. In spite of all the trouble, the memory 
of what had happened still excited me. Never before had I come without being 
touched! Without thinking, I touched my full, soft lips with my fingertips 
and wondered if Greg had enjoyed the few minutes we'd had together. He'd 
certainly ended up earning them. 

"A small light by my bed flashed and a little bell rang, announcing that 
Robert needed something. I hurried to his room. 

"I'd like to be bathed before dinner, Irene. His voice was flat, but his 
eyes sparked with "a touch of interest. 

"I prepared a tray of water and got the cloth and soap, hiding my surprise. 
Robert was paralyzed from the knees down, yet I got the distinct feeling I 
was supposed to bathe him. Or maybe he was just wanting me to bring him his 
things. His arms were muscular and healthy looking, so I didn't offer to 
help him out of his things. 

"He stared at me a moment, then shrugged off his pajama shirt. He stared at 
me curiously while I stood still like a dummy. Actually, I was admiring his 
naked torso. Robert B-was a fine-looking man. It seemed a tragedy that he 
couldn't walk. It wasn't until his eyes on me began to look definitely 
irritated that it occurred to me to do something with his pants. 'Oh!' I 
undid the waistband, angry at myself for being so slow. I had to keep this 
job! 

"My nursing experience was little, and there was something very different 
about undressing a young, good-looking man than an old one. The men I'd 
undressed in the nursing home were more like things' than men, and it was as 
easy to ignore their penises as it was an animal's. But Robert had a flat 
belly, slim hips, and a line of dark curling hair that became a jungle as I 
carefully pulled the pants downwards. My face reddened as I found it 
difficult to keep my eyes from his cock. It was a big cock, with a velvety 
head a few shades darker than the thick shaft. His balls were low and huge, 
and I caught myself wondering what he did about it, if he had any lover 
other than his fist. 

"Robert saw my eyes brush his cock. He smiled slightly as I skimmed the 
pants all the way off, this time carefully avoiding his prick. I busily 
arranged his bathing things and prepared to leave. 

"You may begin bathing me now, Irene.' 

"Your back, sir?' I asked. His prick seemed to be in the line of my eyes at 
all times. 

"His laugh was full. 'All over, Irene! You are a nurse, aren't you? You 
sound more like a schoolgirl to me!' 

"I blushed furiously and grabbed the cloth. It was the image of Greg's cock 
nearing my mouth that was making me behave this way! I was a nurse, Robert 
was my patient, and if I didn't stop this nonsense I would end up jobless 
and on the street. I began to wash him. 

"Hey, take it easy! I'm not that dirty, am I? Just rub nice and easy, Irene, 
okay?' 

"I was so embarrassed by that time I was ready to cry. Instead I got very 
businesslike. I washed him professionally and thoroughly, then handed him 
the cloth to finish his privates. 

"He stared at the cloth as if he didn't understand what it was for. 'Finish, 
Irene. Go ahead.' 

"I hesitated only a moment. Ordinarily, a patient who was capable of washing 
himself there, washed himself. A nurse wasn't obligated to offer other 
services. But I had made such a fool of myself I no longer knew if this was 
a required part of the routine, or if Robert was just trying to test me. I 
wasn't familiar enough with his medical history to know his physical 
limitations. I finally decided to do whatever he asked of me, within 
reasonable limits. I picked up the cloth, got it soapy, and began washing 
his hairy groin. 

"Keeping my eyes casual while washing his prick was a problem. I was careful 
to touch it with the rag only. Even so, it felt good in my hand. I worked 
quickly, my heart racing, then slid the cloth down and over his balls, 
between his thighs, and swabbed between the cheeks of his ass. By the time I 
washed the soap away my hands were shaking. I dried his balls first, then 
patted at his cock. I did a good job of ignoring the fact that the bulge 
under my hand was rapidly growing, but when I pulled away, his prick, huge 
and twitching, leaped up toward me. 

"It's not dry enough yet, Irene....' He looked down at the monster jutting 
up from his loins. 

"As if hypnotized I let the cloth cover him again, and my hand was a little 
stronger as I patted his aching flesh. I knew I should make some sort of 
joke and get busy putting away the bath things, but my cunt was suddenly 
crying with desire, the little droplets of moisture warning me that I was 
rapidly approaching a danger point. 

"That feels nice. Rub a little harder, nurse.' His sculptured lips were 
curved into a smirk. 'You're pretty, Irene. Is your hair really blonde? Oh, 
that feels so good, Irene. You sure are a fine nurse, honey. 

"My face was flaming, but somehow I couldn't seem to let go of his prick. It 
was so huge in my hand, so wonderfully hard---- I knew I was crazy to be 
doing this. I wasn't in the house two hours and already I was playing with 
my patient's cock. If his dad got wind of this, or the housekeeper, I'd be 
out on my butt and the agency would never find me a job again. But even 
while I was calling myself all sorts of names my hand was still clutching 
his dick, the cloth separating my flesh from his a meaningless joke. 

"How did Robert like it? I wondered. Was he able to actually fuck girls? 
From time to time he must have had other young nurses. Certainly in time 
they would have to respond to his beautiful cock. Images of girls sitting on 
his dick did nothing to cool me off any. My hand dropped to his balls. They 
were very big. 

"Play with my prick some more, Irene. It needs to be taken care of nice. Ah 
... that's it. That feels nice----" 

"Maybe he got by with having a hand job from a willing girl now and then. 
Fucking would certainly be too difficult. If I did it for him, what could I 
get out of it? Would he play with my pussy? If so, would it be any better 
than when I played with it myself? But all the questions were a waste of 
time. I had his cock in my hand and I wasn't about to let go of it. Besides, 
if there was nothing in it for me, even, I would still want to do it, I 
decided. Poor Robert, he was confined to this house, to this bed for the 
most part, and if I could make life a bit more pleasant I would. This, 
essentially, was why I got into nursing in the first place. 

"Get rid of the towel, honey. I want to feel your hand against me----' His 
eyes were closed now, and his throbbing cock was very stiff. 

"I started to drop the towel when I distinctly heard his father coming down 
the hall. Fortunately he was talking to the housekeeper, so I was able to 
pull on Robert's trousers and help him with his shirt before they entered 
the room. Robert was buried in a book, his hard cock hidden by the folds of 
the blanket, and I was fussing with the bath things by the time they came in 
with steaming trays of food. 

"I thought we'd all have dinner together tonight,' Mr. B- announced. He 
helped the housekeeper set up a table. 'I have to make it quick, though. I 
have a business meeting tonight.' He glanced at his watch. 

"Although the dinner was delicious I could barely eat a bite. Robert also 
seemed to have little appetite. Allthrough the meal I kept remembering the 
feel of his cock in my hand. As my mouth closed around the fork I remembered 
how my lips had closed around Greg's prick. I glanced over at Robert. He 
caught my eyes on him and immediately looked down at his well-covered lap. 
It was almost as if he had read my mind. It was hard to keep my mind on 
dinner and the pleasant, light conversation Mr. B initiated. 

"Finally dinner was over and Robert's father had to leave. I followed him to 
the door, assured him again that his son was safe in my hands, barely 
managing to restrain a giggle. Mrs. H-, the housekeeper, left a few moments 
later. Then, trembling, I went to my own room. 

"I wasn't there five minutes when the bell and light told me Robert needed 
something. I knew what he wanted, and on shaking legs I went, prepared to 
give it to him. 

"Where were we?' Robert pushed back the covers and opened his pajama pants 
enough to expose his partially erect cock. 

"I came over to him and sat down at the edge of the bed. His prick was very 
red and thick, and as much as I wanted to touch it I was suddenly struck by 
the weirdness of my desire for it. I wanted to take his cock, kiss it, lick 
it, suck on it.... I wanted to blow him, to do all those fascinating things 
Greg's girl had done to him, the things I hadn't had a chance to do to him, 
the things Tom would never allow me to do.... 

"Robert's dark eyes fixed on mine for a long moment. 'I know you're 
wondering what we can do, Irene. Me being crippled, I mean. I can't fuck 
you, baby. But I can do other things, better things. I can do things to you 
with my hands, my lips, my tongue.... Things that will drive you out of your 
mind. And I'm going to use that mouth of yours, Irene, that beautiful 
mouth.... Come here, Irene....' 

"I suppose that was the moment for making a choice. If there really was any 
choice to make. It never even entered my mind. All I thought about was that 
at last it was going to happen to me, the thing I'd been waiting- for. 
Desire sent a shock of unreal intensity through my cunt as I allowed 
Robert's strong arms to pull me down to him----" 

In Irene's case we have what almost amounts to a case of oral nymphomania, 
in that she actively desires to participate in either mutual oral 
stimulation or simple oral stimulation of the male to the point of 
ejaculation. The nymphomania label aprlies because she desires the oral 
activity for oral ism itself, as a physical means of gratification, with no 
emotional or mental effects. In other words, she doesn't care who the man 
is, so long as he is willing and able to take part in an oral sex episode. 

The fact that she is running from a situation which could no longer be 
tolerated, a husband seeking to punish her for infidelity, and a sexual 
situation in which she was unable to achieve gratification basically has 
nothing to do with the oral aspects of her case. Had she not been introduced 
to oral sex acts by her husband's friend she would undoubtedly have ended up 
in a position where she would have been seeking sexual gratification through 
more normal means. The point was that she was seeking a more complete and 
fulfilling psychosex-ual situation, with the infidelity episode merely 
precipitating the crisis and the oral aspects merely giving direction to the 
form of fulfillment she was ready to accept. As Dr. Norman Powers wrote in 
the Psychiatric Journal of Great Britain: 

Sexual desire is undoubtedly the most demanding of satisfaction. While moral 
codes, both those of society and that of the individual, may delineate what 
is and is not acceptable in sexual expression, such codes cannot stand up to 
a well-developed condition of sexual desire. In other areas a person may 
want something, but deny the wanting of it because of other, overriding, 
considerations. This is seldom the case with sexual desire, however. Indeed, 
I am of the opinion that a great percentage of mental disorders can be 
traced directly to the attempted suppression of a strong sexual desire. 

It is noted that, aside from her desire to experience an oral sex episode, 
Irene had other strong reasons for participating in the acts she has 
described. To keep away from the potential violence of her husband, to 
secure a place to live, to insure a food supply, and to attain at least a 
small degree of financial security, she undoubtedly would have been willing 
to partake of the oral sex act, even if she had not been introduced to it 
earlier. 

The fact that she discovered that she enjoyed it greatly was merely an added 
bonus. 

"We kissed for what seemed forever, then I felt his hand on my thigh. I 
wiggled a little so that he could reach between my thighs. 

"Touch my cock, Irene. Go ahead, play with it. Spread your legs a little 
more____That's it. You aren't wearing anything under those things, are you?' 

"My hand started rubbing his dick as I parted my thighs. 'No, nothing,' I 
sighed. 

"He pushed me away from him. 'Now get up and strip, Irene. I want a good 
look at you. I want to see if you really are a blonde. I want to see you 
without that white outfit. But keep those things on, the stocking things. 
Hurry up, Irene, honey.' 

"I got up and turned down the lights, leaving one dim lamp lit. Then I went 
to work on the row of tiny buttons on my uniform. I'd bought the uniform 
before applying for this job, and now I wished I'd gotten one with a zipper. 
My fingers trembled as I undid the top, and I avoided Robert's eyes. Finally 
I was done, and half-turning I let the wisp of snowy uniform float to the 
carpet. I wore a white lacy bra and a pair of sheer white panty hose. Oh, 
and a standard nurse's cap on my short blonde hair. I didn't bother with 
that at all. Shivering, I undid my bra. It fell to the carpet next to my 
uniform. I turned slowly, giving Robert a good look at my tits. I was proud 
of them, and Tom had always been wild about them. They were high and full, 
small enough to never become sloppy, yet large enough to overflow any man's 
hand. My nipples were on the large side, but I have yet to hear a complaint 
about them. 

"A real blonde,' Robert admitted slowly, his eyes glued to my crotch. The 
sheer panty hose were taut across my crotch, and the nest of buttery hair 
pushed through the mesh of nylon here and there. I started to remove the 
pants but Robert stopped me. 

"No, leave them on. You look cute with that hat and those stocking things. 
And those naked tits. Come here.' He held out his arms. 

"I went to him, standing by the bed. His hand reached out and began to rub 
my pussy. I felt very naked in the tights, and very bold. I spread my legs, 
threw back my head, and let him play with my cunt all he wanted to. I was so 
caught up by the sensations in my body I was taken by surprise when he 
replaced his hand with his face. All at once there was a wet tongue licking 
at my crotch. 

"Moaning, I clutched at Robert's head. His face was pressed hard against my 
cunt. I staggered back a step, but since that put me beyond reach of 
Robert's lapping tongue I moved forward again, eager for more. I wished the 
panty hose were off. They blocked his tongue from slipping up into my 
juicing hole. But he seemed to be doubly excited by the outfit. Then, as 
quickly as the tongue had begun its wild asault, it stopped. I was being 
pulled down onto the bed with Robert. 

"Now suck me a little, honey. Suck me. Be a good little nurse and make this 
better. God, my prick is hard as a rock. Put it in your mouth, Irene. Go 
ahead.' 

"Groaning, I allowed his strong hands to push my head down towards his lap. 
My pussy began to pound with a stronger urgency than before. He stopped 
pushing when his cock was a few inches from my lips. 

"Suck it, Irene! Take it in your mouth! I know you suck cock! You were damn 
near licking your sexy lips when you were looking at it before____Lick it, 
honey----' 

"I moaned and, propelled by a desire stronger than shame, I began to lick 
the head of his cock. I ran my tongue around the underside of his prick, 
licking harder when I felt him begin to shudder. 

"That feels good! Now take it in your mouth. Suck on it!' Robert moaned, 
pressing down again on my head. 

"My heart was pounding against my ribs as I allowed my lips to part. 
Robert's lovely prick slid into my mouth slowly. I felt a shock go through 
my pussy as I took the whole head in my mouth and began to suck on it. It 
was exactly as if a finger were flicking my clitoris. 

"Yes! That's the way! Take all of it in your mouth. Yes____That's 
it____More----' 

"I felt my cunt begin to convulse as I took his entire prick into my throat. 
It was exactly as if his cock was lodged in my pussy, stroking me. Only 
better, because no cock had ever done to my cunt what Robert's prick was 
doing to me now. I gagged as I took every last inch of it in, but it didn't 
matter - I was coming, groaning against the hairy base of his belly, 
screaming silently inside as I spasmed without touching myself at all. 

"Robert knew. He held my head tightly to his belly and seemed to fight 
against having an orgasm of his own. 'My God! I knew you loved it!' His hand 
touched the absurd little cap, still pinned to my hair. That's the kind of 
nurse I needed ... yes----You'll fix me good, baby. Real good...." 

"I eased up a bit as my spasms passed. His cock was harder than ever. I 
began a slow, experimental flickering of my tongue up and back across the 
shaft, then wrapped it around his prick. Moving faster, I began to suck him 
all the way into my mouth again. Immediately I felt myself growing excited 
all over again. 

"Ooh ... that feels so good____I want to do it to you, too. I'm going to 
come, and I want to be eating that pretty little pussy of yours, Irene, when 
I do. Get naked, honey. Hurry.' 

"Reluctantly I let Robert's fat prick slip out of my eager mouth. I stood 
up, stared at the glistening rod I'd been sucking, and began to pull down 
the white stockings. But he stopped me when they were to my knees. 

"Come here, Irene. Leave them on like that.' His voice was thick. 'I've had 
nurses around me all my life, honey, but never anything like this. Never.' 

"His eyes were glazed and his voice was as hypnotic as the staff between his 
thighs. I moved my eyes from his down to his prick, then up again. Then I 
started towards him. 

"Robert watched me move, his gaze burning into my cunt. 'All my life I've 
needed taking care of, and only once in a great while was there a nurse who 
really understood my needs.' He grasped his cock tightly. 'This has been 
needing a woman's touch ... a woman's lips. - ' 

"I moved to him quickly, instinctively knowing just what to do. I straddled 
his head carefully, my nurse's training restraining my movements so as not 
to disturb this special patient of mine. I arched myself over his torso, my 
face towards his groin, my pussy directly over his mouth. The rolled panty 
hose were obscenely stretched across his head. When I was firmly in 
position, I lowered my lips to his cock and pressed my cunt to his face. 

"His tongue darted out and lapped at the trench between my furry lips. I 
bucked uncontrollably at the wave of ecstasy that rocked my flesh as the 
tongue worked further into my hole. I sighed weakly, then opened my mouth 
and sucked Robert's big cock into my hot, wet mouth. 

"At first it was impossible to concentrate on both things at once. I would 
just get into the wonderful feeling of his thick prick in my mouth when the 
demanding tongue in my cunt would tease my tensed clitoris and that would 
drive all else from my mind. I felt as if I were strung out between two 
worlds, one of pure, ecstatic giving, and the other an Eden of taking. It 
was impossible to qualify them. But at last a flash of what Robert had said 
about the kind of nurse he'd been needing crossed my consciousness. 

"There had been a reason why I'd gone into nursing in the first place, aside 
from the financial consideration, no small matter when you were Tom's wife. 
I had a real, a strong, need to mother, to care for others. A desire to give 
of the self in some personal way. And this was the way I was needed now, by 
Robert. Perhaps that was why I'd stayed with Tom so long, for so little real 
pleasure. He'd needed me as a receptacle for his hot come. But with Tom 
there had always been something so impersonal, so distant, like my cunt was 
a thing removed from me. But with Greg, and now with Robert, I was 
controlling the whole thing, taking him into my mouth to satisfy his needs, 
delicately and deliberately ministering to the desires of the man's most 
sensitive and immediate self. My reward would also be real, a hot spray of 
semen.... All of a sudden my eagerness for Robert's come to fill my mouth 
was uncontrollable. I began sucking him frantically, aware yet not concerned 
with the wonderful tongue-work in my cunt. 

"Robert responded to the increase in my sucking by moaning into my wet 
pussy. He gripped my thighs tightly, and the fact that I would be covered 
with blue-black finger marks only increased my desire to suck him wildly. It 
was as if I'd been doing it for years, as if I knew from long experience 
exactly how to thrill a man with my mouth. I even knew exactly at what stage 
he was, knew precisely when his balls bunched up for the explosion, knew 
just when to suck all of him into my mouth so that his boiling load could 
explode all over the inside of my throat.... 

"Robert ripped his face from my cunt and clutched me even more tightly. 'Oh! 
My God! I'm coming! Take it! I'm shooting in your mouth! Swallow it! Swallow 
my come!' 

"I felt him shoot into my mouth, spray the back of my throat with his creamy 
juice. His cheek was pressed against my pussy, and just as my mouth filled 
with Robert's long-overdue ejaculation, I came again, a slow, thrilling 
orgasm which left me sobbing against his big balls, my mouth still dripping 
with come. 

"When finally I was able to get up off the bed Robert was nearly asleep. He 
smiled up at me as I hastily dressed for my trip to the bedroom next door. 

"That was wonderful, Irene. You're the best nurse I ever had. I'm going to 
need a lot more nursing. Every day. And night....' 

"I covered his sleeping body tenderly and returned to my room, happy and a 
little tired. My life was happening so fast there was no time to reflect on 
it at all. But I had a job, and there was no doubt now that Robert would 
tell his father that I was the best thing that ever happened to him. I 
clicked on the light in my room, a big smile plastered to my lips, lips 
which still tasted of come. 

"Mr. B-was seated in the chair by the table, his arms folded, his face dark 
with rage. He got up as I entered the room. 

"My smile died a quick death. 'Mr. B-!' I dropped into a chair, my legs 
giving out under me. 'What are you... ?' 

"You bitch! You whore! I saw you in there with my son! I stopped in to see 
Robert as soon as I got home, and you were so busy, the two of you, you 
didn't even hear me! I saw what you were doing to my son! I hired you to 
take care of him, not to___to___to suck his cock!' he exploded furiously. 'I 
hired a nurse for my son, not a whore for him!" 

"I was in a state of panic. At first I didn't know what to do. I wanted to 
protest, explain myself, explain that I wasn't really that kind of woman. I 
wanted to beg his forgiveness, plead with him to let me keep this job, or, 
failing that, plead with him to not tell the agency why I was fired. I might 
have done any of these things, maybe all of them, perhaps none; only, crying 
with frustration and humiliation, I let my eyes drop to his lap. 

"His prick was as hard as his son's had been. The bulge in his expensive 
trousers made the fury in his voice and eyes a lie! In spite of himself, Mr. 
B- was excited by what he had seen. He'd walked in on us while I was sucking 
his son off, wearing nothing, probably, but my nurse's cap and the white 
panty hose. And what he'd seen had given him an enormous erection! 

"All of a sudden I saw a way out of the problem confronting me, and a way to 
keep my job. More than that, the rise in his trousers assured me that Mr. B 
- , respectable businessman and widower, needed some special nursing as 
badly as his son. 

"I closed my ears to his tirade and moved closer to him, nearly touching him 
before he realized I'd gotten out of the chair. 'I've heard what you had to 
say, now it's only fair you hear my side of it, Mr. B-. Then if you want me 
to go, fine, I'll clear out right away. But first be fair enough to hear me 
out, okay?' 

"He tried to take a step backwards and away from me, but the wall blocked 
his move. Slowly he nodded. "I could see his excitement, even from where I 
stood, inches from his body. I rubbed my bottom lip seductively as I looked 
up at him. I kept my voice soft. 'Mr. B-, you're so in the habit of thinking 
of your son as a boy that you've failed to notice that he's a man now, and 
he has the same needs as any other male. It's only his legs that are 
crippled. He can't get around like other men and find a ... a sexual outlet. 
Think of how terrible it's been for him. When I bathed him he became 
terribly excited. It was painful for a woman to touch him without knowing he 
would be relieved sooner or later. He needed a different kind of nursing, 
Mr. B. His cock needed nursing. So I sucked him off. He needed me, Mr. B - - 
. Think of what it would be like if you were unable to have sex at all.' 

"He frowned uncertainly. I sensed his cock was harder than ever. 'I ... I 
don't have a woman. Not since my wife died. I manage to live with it.' The 
sternness was gone from his jaw, however. He avoided my eyes. 'I've never 
heard Robert complain about a lack of ... female companionship.' 

"I didn't smile. 'Would you complain to him?' I asked seriously, stepping a 
little nearer, near enough so that the tips of my breasts brushed his suit 
jacket. 'Would you tell him if you were aching to sink your penis into a 
girl's vagina or her mouth?' 

"He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. His eyes dropped to my 
breasts and stayed there. 

"Without stopping to think of what to do next, I boldly dropped my hand and 
pressed it directly on his bulging crotch. 'All Robert really needs is a 
woman's touch, from time to time. Maybe you do, too____' 

I slipped to my knees and brought my face to his trousers. My lips teased 
his hard prick through the fabric as I whispered, 'Let me nurse you, too, in 
a very special way. Let me take your cock in my mouth and nurse it until it 
explodes____' 

"He stood there numbly while I unzipped his fly and eased the trousers down 
his legs. Although Mr. B-had to be in his early fifties, he was slim and 
handsome, not quite as handsome as Robert, but his huge purple cock was very 
nearly as big. 

"I took it in my mouth and sucked hard on its throbbing length. He groaned, 
then tried to push my head away. But his hands were shaking badly. 

"I wouldn't let him go. I used the tip of my tongue on the sensitive 
underside of his prick, whipping it back and forth until I felt the 
resistance drain from his body. 

"No ... no____This isn't right! I shouldn't let you! I haven't touched a 
woman since my wife.___' 

"I cupped his balls with one hand and started pulling on his dick with the 
other hand while I let his cock slip out of my mouth. I kept my voice husky 
- as if I had any choice. I was hot all over again. 

'That's all right, Mr. B-. You don't have to touch me. I just want to take 
care of you and Robert. I just want to make you happy, keep you comfortable. 
Let me take care of you, Mr. B-....' I turned my face back to him and sucked 
his stiff prick deep into my mouth. He groaned as I began a steady sucking 
action, drawing all of him into my mouth, releasing him a little at a time, 
working my tongue along his length as I eased him in and out of me. 

"He half-sighed, half-sobbed, staggered back a bit so that the wall could 
hold him steady, then weakly reached out for my head. 'Ah ... God ... I ... 
I can't resist it.... Yes, yes, take care of me.... Suck it for me, like you 
did for Robert----It's been so long____' 

"I think his words did as much for me as his cock. He needed me, his big, 
hot prick needed me! I took him into my throat, loving the pain-pleasure 
pressure, making my lips a cushioned ring from his dick, a wet little pussy, 
tighter than a real cunt could ever be. I sucked him slowly, wanting it to 
be so good for him he would have to keep me around for himself, as well as 
for Robert. I sucked him in a way that promised him a lifetime of effortless 
ecstasy. 

"Wait! The bed ... the ... the bed, my dear. Let me....' He tried to move 
over to the bed, his legs undoubtedly weak from the sensations melting 
through him. 

"I let go of him with my mouth, but my hand immediately covered his prick as 
he moved, jacking it off very gently, refusing to consider a change of heart 
in him. It wasn't really necessary, though, and I knew it. His dick was a 
bar of steel, a ^ot, twitching pole in agonizing need of my loving mouth. 

"He kicked his way out of the ring of trousers around his ankles and moved 
to my bed. He might have looked absurd on the bed, his cock straining 
towards the ceiling while his uppper torso was conventionally covered by a 
white shirt, dark tie, and a suit coat. But all I really saw was that giant 
prick. My cunt throbbed as I followed him to the bed, and I could feel the 
juice beginning to lubricate the insides of my thighs. 

"Mr. B-groaned as my mouth began to lick his groin. His pubic hairs were 
graying and wiry, a bush of great density, sticky with my spit. I licked 
around the base of his cock, then went to work on his balls. They hung 
loosely, and responded instantly to my lapping tongue. By the time I 
returned my mouth to his cock, Mr. B-was panting and begging for me to suck 
it, to take it in my mouth and suck on it until he shot off in my mouth! It 
was with a sense of intense excitement and victory that I began sucking his 
prick for him. 

"That's it! Oh, that feels so good! I've never been sucked like this, Irene. 
Never! No one ever sucked it as if they loved it! You do love it, don't you, 
Irene? Keep that up and I'll do anything you want, girl. Forget what I said 
before. I'll do anything to you you want me to do. I'll fuck you, if you'd 
like. I ... I swore I'd never fuck another woman after Susan died, but I'll 
do anything you want me to do. Only keep on sucking me.___' 

"I didn't bother taking the time out to explain to him then, or to assure 
him that fucking me wasn't important. Later there would be plenty of time. 
Then I'd explain that all I wanted to do was suck him, suck his son.... They 
could lick my pussy if they wished, but sucking them off was more than 
enough for me. I'd spend the rest of my life taking their cocks in my mouth, 
if they let me.... I tensed my thighs as I felt the first hint of Mr. B's 
impending explosion. 

"Keep right on doing that, doing what you're doing to me right now and I'm 
going to orgasm right into your mouth! I'll deposit a hot mouthful of come 
down your throat if you continue.... 

"My tongue was cupped around his shaft now, and I only wished it was big 
enough to cover him completely. My mouth felt as if it was permanently 
shaped to take his prick. I was moaning silently when I felt it hit me, the 
spasms in the pit of my belly which vibrated downwards into my yearning 
cunt. I dug my fingers into the firm flesh of his ass and took every inch of 
him into my mouth, groaning even through the huge obstacle in my mouth, 
clutching him violently as I came. 

"That did it for him. He was moaning and grabbing my head, forcing the last 
inch of his prick into my throat while a hot shower of thick juice splashed 
into my mouth. I tasted the acid come eagerly while another fierce spasm 
shot through my cunt. My mouth was filled with his sperm, overflowing with 
it, and some of it dribbled down my cheek as I moaned with the final wave of 
my orgasm. 

"Finally I collected myself enough to lovingly lick the last few drops from 
Mr. B-'s cock and roll off him. 

"He got up slowly and looked at me. At first he seemed undecided, now that 
it was all over, of how he should act. But the memory of my mouth on his 
prick could not be overlooked. Not now, not ever. I think he also must have 
weighed what I said about Robert's needs, sexually. When he finally spoke, 
after his clothing was back in place, his lips curved into a smile. 

"I guess the trial basis is no longer necessary. You're hired.' 

"After he was gone, I undressed and threw myself onto the bed, exhausted but 
very, very happy. There was no doubt about it - I was home. I had a place, a 
role, and how I was going to love filling it. It had been a fine first day 
at work...." 

It is difficult to say whether Irene's oral obsession was, indeed, of a 
perversely nymphomaniacal nature (a case of orally channeled nymphomania), 
or whether it was a "safe" and non-involving method whereby she managed to 
attain both a personally satisfying sexual release and an assurance that she 
had found herself a home and a source of support. Although at the time of 
her interview by a private psychiatrist she was still engaging in oral 
practices with her employer and his son, the fact that she had turned for 
help appears to indicate that her problem was one of a compulsive nature 
that was uncontrollably bordering on nymphomania. 

The outlook for her success in overcoming this compulsion hinges on her 
ability to variegate her sexual practices to the extent whereby she is not 
monomaniacally directed in her desires. 

Chapter Four 

Bella R-, R.N. 

"You guys and your case histories fracture me, you know that? And believe 
me, that pun's intended. You can't be a nurse and be a virgin, that's for 
damned sure. Oh, I know, a lot of gals claim to be, but that's only because 
they know fuckin' well that there's no way in hell of proving if they're not 
virgins ... unless they get knocked up. 

"A nurse knows too damned much, and usually too soon for her own emotional 
development. Even if you get through training without your curiosity driving 
you buggy, the first time you've gotta wash a male patient and he gets a 
hard on, well, blushing ceases to be the only way of handling it. That pun's 
intended, too. 

"I decided very early in my career that being a staff nurse wasn't the life 
for me. Bunch of dried-out bitches giving orders and doctors checking charts 
with one hand, and feeling you up with the other ... no thanks, not for me. 
I'm an orphan, and I learned to be completely self-sufficient very early in 
life. The thought of having to bow down to a hospital's rules never appealed 
to me, so after about a year of putting up with that antiseptic bullshit, I 
signed up with the Nurses' Registry for private duty only. It's more money, 
and if you have to live in for the duration, it's usually in a pretty nice 
home. If someone can afford a private live-in nurse, he's doing all right. 
Besides, like a high-class call girl, a private nurse can pick and choose 
her patients. 

"I'd lost my cherry by the time I was eighteen - which nowadays, is kind of 
late in life. I got mixed up with a kid in the other wing of the orphanage 
... you know the sort of thing. Happens all the time. But then I kind of 
cooled it for a while. No special reason, really. Romance magazine stuff, I 
suppose, save it for the man you love and all that junk. Then later on, I 
met this groovy intern while I was taking my training. He figured he could 
teach me a few 'in' tricks ... and he meant 'in' with a capital I. 

"Hey, listen, you want me to kind of cool my language? I mean, I don't want 
to get you in any trouble or anything____ 

"Okay. So the first time I caught on to the fact that there are some really 
way-out advantages in being a private nurse was my very first assignment. I 
was only twenty-one ... barely. And I was real cute - not that I'm a dog 
now, but you know the kind of 'cute' only youth can give a gal ... all 
healthy glow and clear eyes and no matter how much Chanel you use you always 
smell like baby powder. I was still wearing my red hair shoulder-length, 
sort of a Lauren Bacall style 'cause I was trying to look older. But there 
was no way of hiding the fact that I've got a wild body; not even a nurse's 
shroud uniform could hide it. Whoever my folks were, somebody must've been a 
fan dancer! Well, you can see for yourself ... it's all where it's supposed 
to be, and plenty of it. 

"I was sent out to one of those fancy homes off Coldwater Canyon, on the 
Beverly Hills side of Mulholland. Tuberculosis case, age fifty-one, male 
Caucasian. His wife had been a nurse but had to go to Europe or to visit her 
mother or some dumb thing, so he didn't want to be left alone in the house. 
They had a day girl come in to do the housework, but she wouldn't fix meals 
and specially didn't know anything about properly balanced diets. I don't 
mind cooking as long as I don't have to have a nervous breakdown sweating 
through a souffle in the oven. And they were paying extra for it. Why not? 
Anyway, that's all I knew about the case when I accepted the job. 

"The wife left on a Tuesday morning, and I arrived for work before the 
electronic garage door had finished closing. The day gal, Mae, showed me to 
my room and where the kitchen was, and then took me in to meet my patient, 
Mr. D-. 

"He might have been fifty-one, but you could see that despite his weakened 
condition, he was a real stud. Graying temples, lean tennis-player body ... 
the sort of guy who usually has a tan all year around. He may have been in a 
weakened condition, but he wasn't out of the ballgame! Joe - that's his 
first name - took a heavy-lidded inventory of my body and gestured to Mae to 
get the hell out and leave us alone. It was okay by me. I don't know. There 
was something about that guy that just turned me on, all of a sudden like. 
Maybe because he was old enough to be my father or something, but whatever 
it was, I was getting too wet in the crotch for any female disorder! 

"What's your name?' he asked me. Actually, it was more of a barked command, 
as if he should have said 'rookie' afterwards. 

"Bella, Mr. D-. Bella R-.' I dug his voice. It had a Laurence Olivier timbre 
to it that got my juices flowing so bad I was worried I'd stain my uniform. 

"You're very young,' he said. 

"Old enough,' I answered, or some other wisecrack only a punk kid would 
think was witty. By then I'd gone over to the side of his bed and was 
checking out his medications. His doctor wasn't foolin' around with the kid 
stuff. There were fresh prescriptions for INH and PAS - oh, that's standard 
nowadays for TB, isoniazid hydrochloride and para-amino salicylic acid for a 
chaser. But you know all about that. 

"You're to take 10 grams a day of the PAS. When did you have your last 
tablet?' I was trying real hard to act cool and efficient, but he had me 
psyched out. Joe was with it, know what I mean? I bet he could spot a hot 
broad through ten inches of steel plate! Maybe he just smells their heat, 
like dogs do. Anyway, the next thing I knew there was a firm, cool hand 
walking up the inside of my thighs. I was about to let him have both barrels 
with the shocked treatment, you know, 'Really, Mr. D-!' sort of thing, but 
he knew me better than that. Oh yeah, this guy really knew his women! He had 
his hand up to my wet crotch before I could say a damned thing, and that 
shot any of my coy tactics. Like he could feel how wet I was! He must have 
had buckets of my vaginal secretion in his hand, but neither of us said a 
word. I froze. Like a kid. I just froze. 

"But I could almost sense the smile on his thin face as I felt his 
fingernails tracing light lines back and forth across the material of my 
panties. It was wild. I felt ... well, I felt deli-ciously wicked. Like I 
knew none of this should be happening, even that it was crazy for me to just 
walk into a room and suddenly some guy's playing with my pussy - but it was 
like stealing something and knowing you were going to get away with it ... a 
libidinous fantasy come true! 

"As if it were beyond my control, I realized that I was parting my legs for 
him, thrusting my pelvis forward in a silent invitation. His hand knew what 
it was doing, too. By then, he'd inched his way beneath the elastic of my 
panties and had begun to stroke my labia gently, teasing my pubic hairs 
around.my vagina, and I got so tensed up I thought I was going to come right 
in his hand! I could feel my breasts get taut and my hard pink nipples were 
scratching at the material of my bra. Oh, wow, and my clitoris must've been 
twenty times its normal size, just pounding with blood. 

"It was all so damned weird, know what I mean? Like screwin' on a church pew 
or something. And he just kept stroking, teasing, but never touching my 
clitoris - like maybe he knew that was all I needed to pop off. But I was 
goin' nuts waiting for his touch on that hot button! 

"Wouldn't you like to have that hot snatch, sucked?' he whispered. I almost 
creamed all over him when he said that. Would I like it! Christ! I was ready 
to skip a day's pay just to have him touch it, let alone really suck me off. 
Oh, wow! And what was really way out about it was that I'd only heard about 
that kind of stuff ... no one had ever done it to me before! 

"Anyway, I didn't need to be asked twice. I didn't have time, even, to 
wonder about what to do ... I mean, was I supposed to stand there or hang 
from the ceiling or what! But Joe, he just sort of led me, like we were 
dancing and he was an extra good leader. I hardly even knew how I was being 
guided, but with just a little bit of pressure with his free hand he had me 
out of my panties and climbing onto the bed. Once my panties were off, you 
cculd smell sex all over the room ... my body was reeking with that special 
heavy, musky odor and it was even turning me on, so I can pretty well guess 
what it must do to guys. 

"Joe hoisted my skirt up enough for me to be able to straddle his body, and 
then with both his hands on my buttocks, he gently brought my hot cunt up to 
his face. I thought I was gonna faint. I.could feel him breathing on my wet 
pussy, just breathing, and it was sending me into orbit! Then I felt his 
fingers lightly spreading open the surrounding flesh, and then his breathing 
came closer and closer to my burning cunt and I could feel my clitoris 
arching and straining toward him like some kind of mini prick! 

"Then he zeroed in. Oh, wow, I'm gettin' all hot just telling you about it! 
Anyway, when Joe's tongue started lapping up my pussy, I knew right then and 
there nothing else would ever be as great again. Maybe some people would 
never call that losing my cherry, but I knew I'd never be happy with just 
ordinary fucking again and nothing more! I'd always want to get sucked off 
or it'd be like droppin' one shoe, know what I mean? But Joe was gettin' a 
mouthful and I could tell he was just as hot as I was. He kept groanin' into 
my cunt and making these loud wet sucking sounds, slurping and 
lapping____Anyhow, I must've come in about two minutes! I had to lean 
against the headboard to stop from falling over ... I never felt anything 
like it in my life! I just kept comin' and comin' and I could feel my 
vaginal muscles spasming, clutching and rubbing. I'd never had an orgasm 
like that... not ever! 

"Well, Joe wouldn't let me up from his face. He'd stopped tonguing me, like 
he knew how sensitive my pussy was at that moment, but he kept his face 
there and it was kind of reassuring to feel it, like he really dug sucking 
me. 

"When I'd calmed down a bit and wasn't too sure of what I was supposed to do 
next - like who knows from protocol with a nurse and her patient having sex? 
- he very slowly started running his tongue along my already dripping pussy. 
His hands came up and began to undo the buttons at the front of my uniform, 
then slid inside the bodice of my dress and reached inside my bra and cupped 
my breasts. I never wear a bra when I'm not in uniform, and it was one time 
I wished I hadn't been wearing one. It didn't take much to get me all 
steamed up again, and I was rubbing myself againt his face, watching his 
hands playing with my tits and teasing my aching and hard nipples. 

"When I was really squirming and all hot again, I felt his hands on my hips 
trying to turn me around. I didn't know why, honest. But listen, who argues 
with a pussy-hungry bedridden guy? I turned around. I was a little awkward 
doin' it, not being used to that sort of thing, but that was nothin' 
compared to what he had waiting for me. Somehow, Joe had managed to shove 
the blankets down to his knees, and standing up like a flagpole on the 4th 
of July was the biggest damn prick I'd ever seen in my life ... and a nurse 
sees an awful lot of pricks! It was bobbing at me, sort of like a cobra 
bein' charmed, and I didn't have to ask what he expected of me ... I just 
wasn't sure of what to do, or how. I know it sounds silly, but you know what 
fascinated me the most? That pearly'drop right at the urethral orifice! 
Honest. I kept thinking that it looked like a jewel on a velvet cushion.... 
But Joe didn't give me much time to play around with my imagination, there 
was something else he wanted me to play around with. 

"I lowered my face toward his big dick and, sort of shyly at first, began to 
kiss the head of it. Funny, now that I think about it, but it was as if I 
were being extra careful not to spill his happy little drop of semen, like I 
was juggling or something. He was real hairy, that's for sure. And the pubic 
hairs kept tickling at my nose whenever I'd tongue along the sides of his 
penis. And I had never tasted anything like that before. It's hard to 
describe if you've never tasted a prick - which I guess you haven't. Maybe 
it's a combination of the feel of a penis and its smell and its taste. The 
first time a girl sucks a guy, it's a funny feeling. I wasn't repelled, or 
anything like that, but it was more that I wished I could be in two places 
at once. Half of me wanted to continue to suck on his big dick, and the 
other half of me wanted to sit in the corner and watch - my clinical half, I 
guess. 

"But I began to warm up to my subject. Especially with Joe lapping at my 
pussy all the while, sticking his tongue up into my vagina and 
tongue-fuckin' me. I sort of lost consciousness. Not that I passed out, but 
that I lost touch with everything else around me. All I knew was what I 
could feel and what I could taste. I finally found myself beginning to 
actually like playing with his prick and balls, and I shoved my face right 
down between his thighs and began to lick his balls ... even his ass. He 
sure had a cute ass! Then I heard him groaning more and felt him really 
sucking on my cunt, so I took my cue from him. I brought my face back from 
his scrotum and hovered over his dong, knowing what a wild feeling it had to 
be for him, the same as he had done to me before. Then I really let him have 
it! I knew that I could choke to death on the length of his penis unless I 
totally relaxed my throat muscles, so I closed my eyes and let the hot glans 
slowly work into my wet mouth. He jerked when the head touched the back of 
my throat, but just kept going in, and in. All of a sudden I felt like I 
wanted to swallow him whole, and I involuntarily began sucking in my cheeks, 
working on the sides of his penis just like my vagina would if he'd stuck it 
in there instead of ill my mouth. It was a crazy feeling and I almost 
laughed when I realized that I was eating this guy alive - but I was too 
busy to stick with silly thoughts. 

"Pretty soon he began to pump his hips up toward my face, slow at first, 
steady humping motions, shoving his prick in and out of my mouth. And I 
really liked it ... maybe too much. I felt like I had a wild power over him, 
like all I had to do was clamp down with my teeth and he'd be out of 
commission forever more. Even Hitler couldn't have felt more power than I 
did! And that realization did it! Oh, man, I don't know what happened after 
that. I went nuts sucking on him, playing with his balls with my hands, 
knowing all I had to do was twist 'em and that would be End "I had to laugh 
with him. I could well imagine what his mother must have gone trough; he'd 
totaled his car and that'd be enough to make any mother up tight. 

"Go ahead,' Jon said. 'Mix yourself a drink. There's plenty of anything you 
want----' 

"Well,' I drawled out uncertainly. 

"Really, I'd feel better if you would make yourself completely at home.' 

"I giggled. 'Only if you do!' 

"Oh no,' he said, 'I don't drink!' 

"No deal, then. If you have a drink, then I know you won't squeal on me - 
and besides, then I could always say that it was only for your morale, not 
to let you drink alone.' 

"Jon grinned, a cute lopsided grin, and slowly nodded. I fixed up a pitcher 
of martinis, put a twist of lemon in each glass, and brought them over to 
the big round coffee table between the fireplace and the sofa where he'd 
stretched out. It was very quiet for a little while, with neither of us 
saying a word. All you could hear was the sound of the ocean, the waves 
rolling up on the beach ... maybe a car once in a while ... and the sounds 
of the crackling fire. That martini was mellowing me right away and I was 
getting a nice soft glow. 

"You're awfully pretty,' Jon said and his voice was real low, seeming to 
blend in with the whole mood the martini and the room was giving me. 

"That's very nice of you, Jon,' I said, and I meant it, too. I reached 
across the table and poured us both another drink, then I settled back, 
sitting on the floor in front of Jon, my head resting lightly on his good 
leg. 

"Would you,' he began, but I could hear his voice faltering, 'would you do 
me a big favor, Bella?' 

"Sure, baby, want me to get you something?' 

"I wasn't even thinking about anything else, know what I mean? But this kid 
was no dummy. 

"Would - would you kiss me?' he asked. 

"Well, I was surprised. Shocked, maybe. But he asked it so shyly that he 
made me wonder if he'd ever been kissed at all. I smiled, stood up slowly, 
then leaned over him and kissed him. Lightly, at first. Who knew what he was 
expecting? But my mind was way ahead of him. My eyes were already searching 
to see what effect the kiss was having, and sure enough, Bella R - was goin' 
to get rid'of the Hollow Mouth blues that night! He had on a pair of faded 
blue flannel pajamas, and the drawstring on the pants lay alongside the fly, 
weighing it just enough so that I could make out the outline of his prick - 
and it was twitching. I felt like that dame in Tea and Sympathy. Not that I 
thought he was a fag or anything, but only because he . was so damned young! 
Anyhow, he hadn't tried to stick his tongue in my mouth so I knew the game 
would have to be played according to the rules I set up. But I figured I'd 
better take it  slow and easy with him, not push too many but- j tons until 
I knew just how far he was ready to go. You never know with kids like that. 
One minute they're panting and sweaty hands all jjj over you, and the next 
minute they're bawlin' I for mama. Anyway, I slowly began to part my I lips, 
gently pushing at his, then ran my tongue | lightly over his lower lip, into 
the corners of . his mouth, tickling and teasing him. Baby Jon was getting 
hot, and in a hurry. 

"I broke the kiss before we got to frenching. f You know, someone must've 
been a stripper in \ my family - always leaving 'em dying for more! But it 
worked. Jon's forehead was all beaded with sweat, and his face was flushed. 
He could've used some Reserpine about then to get - his blood pressure down. 
But I hovered over him, keeping my lips just an inch or so from his. 'Is 
that what you had in mind?' I asked him. 

"He took an awfully loud swallow, and I couldn't help smiling. And he 
couldn't take his eyes away from the front of my dress. I knew damned well 
that, leaning over like that, he was getting quite a view of my 38-Cs - he'd 
have had to feel up an awful lot of sophomores at UCLA to find another pair 
of knockers like mine, and I knew it! 'Hey, baby,' I whispered, still just 
hanging over him like an oxygen tent, 'you've been kissed before, haven't 
you?' 

"He just nodded. 'Sure,' he said after a moment. 

"And you've scored with girls, haven't you? Nice-lookin' guy like you?' 

"Couple of times,' he answered, and that flipped me. A couple of times! Oh, 
wow! I had me a live guinea pig! This was gonna be fun.... 

"Whores or "nice girls"?' I asked. It makes a difference, you know, and I 
wanted to be sure. 

"Nice girls,' he answered. 'I've always been too afraid of V.D. to fool 
around with wh-whores. And they were nice girls, really. I was their first.' 

"Hell, I thought to myself, sure baby, if that's what you want to believe. 
But at least I knew that no one had ever given him the old Hollow Mouth 
treat that I was planning for him. Knowing that I had a virgin on my hands 
really gassed me, tripped me out. Maybe I wouldn't be able to stop him from 
coming every time I put my mouth on him, but at least I knew I'd be able to 
keep him awake all night and that he'd go on and on. They've got stamina, 
those young kids. Anyhow, I brought hy face back down and closed my mouth 
around his, darting my tongue between his lips, and finally into his mouth. 
He tasted sweet, too, like a Certs commercial, and I knew that his dick 
would be like a peppermint stick in my mouth. I could hardly wait to get to 
it, but I knew I'd have to be patient - sort of prepare him for the idea. 
And suddenly I knew what a guy must feel like when he's trying to seduce a 
girl. Christ! Imagine having a. hot prick in your pants, all ready to pop 
off and come into a girl's mouth, and not know if you're goin' to get lucky 
or not - it must be hell on guys. 

"I worked his mouth real good, I was just about pickin' his teeth for him! 
And he was responding, too. I never knew anybody could pant like that and 
not have a coronary! 

"So I figured it was about time to stop that kid stuff, and I broke the kiss 
again. 'You're quite a guy,' I said, and straightened up. 'Listen, that 
position is wrecking my back,' I explained.. 

"Jon was torn between his throbbing dick and his concern for my back - it 
was written all over his face. And there was no hiding the condition he was 
in. There was no sponge rubber limply lying down on top of his balls ... 
instead there was a nice, long, hard bulge quivering above his belly. He was 
more than just ready, he was bus-tin'. 

"Look,' I said, 'you're a big boy, you know the score. It's rough on a girl, 
too, to just fool around and not do anything about it. We've got a whole 
week ahead of us. Why waste all that precious time?' 

"At first I thought he was upset, like I was pushing him too fast, but I 
found out later that it wasn't that at all; that his mother had a key to the 
apartment and he'd only been worried that she might let herself in and 
neither of us would hear her. What he didn't know, of course, was that I'd 
put the chain lock on after I'd come in and put my things away in the spare 
bedroom. If I'd known that was what was bug-gin' him, I could've saved him a 
lot of worry, but it was just as well, as it turned out. Bein' worried about 
his old lady had kept him from com in' too soon. 

"Anyway, since he hadn't bothered to say no, I moved across the room and 
turned off all the lights, then came back in front of him and stood just 
before the light the fireplace gave off. Then I began to take off my uniform 
... slowly. His eyes were out on stems when he saw how firm my big breasts 
were even without the bra. I slipped out of my dress and underthings and 
just stood there, letting the firelight play across my body, and enjoying 
the effect I knew I was having on him. I waited until I figured he couldn't 
stand much more, then I leaned over and pulled one end of his drawstring. In 
less than a second, his pulsing penis was free and beating against his 
belly; and he'd grabbed me by my waist and pulled me down on him. 

"I slowly undid the buttons of his pajama top and let my breasts play across 
his chest. He didn't have much hair, but it was enough. It tickled the 
burning flesh of my breasts and tortured my aching nipples. It was an extra 
wide couch, so I didn't have any trouble at all straddling his hips. I 
pushed myself down so that my wet pussy would pin his dong down, but not go 
inside me. Guys like that kind of thing, if you don't overdo it. They can 
feel how wet you are, know that you're hot, and that they're right there, 
right next to your dripping hot hole, but they can't quite stick their 
pricks in. Almost, but not quite. Drives 'em buggy. Anyhow, Jon was waltzing 
underneath me, and I knew it'd been a long time since he'd gotten his nuts 
off. I arched my back and brought my breasts over his face, brushing the 
nipples across his eyes, pushing at his nostrils - I wanted him to feel like 
he had breasts pushing at him from every angle, in his ears, anywhere at 
all. Finally, he took my left breast in his mouth, and began to suck on it - 
a little rough, but I didn't mind, I was ready for that. I grabbed his hands 
and placed one on each breast, showing him how to pinch my other nipple so 
it wouldn't feel lonesome while he sucked on the left one. 

"Jon seemed to go a little wild, like he was really getting milk out of me 
or something. He was such a baby, really, and I wondered if I could get him 
to gum my snatch - but that would have to come later . .. pun intended. So 
while he was suckin' the milk out of me, I raised my hips up slightly and 
could feel the air hit cold on the insides of my thighs where I'd been 
juicing all over both of us, and I didn't have to look to know that Jon had 
been contributing to the honey pot! 

"But I took his stiff penis in my right hand, propping myself with my left 
one on the back of the couch, and began to gently squeeze it with a slow 
up-and-down motion. I could feel he'd been circumcised, which I always 
prefer - I like the feel of the knob inside my mouth. Then I let my hand 
wander down to his balls, and I felt the size of 'em. I don't care what the 
books say, big balls mean a hell of a lot of come, and this boy was goin' to 
give me an unending stream of burning semen to swallow - later. For that 
moment, I decided it would be better to just let him have it the ordinary 
way. So I slipped his rigid prick gently into my vagina, letting the head of 
it sort of roll against the wet lips first. Hell, you'd have thought that it 
was me trying to go inside of him, that's how gentle I was. But I'm a 
snapper, always have been. I could pick up a sock across the room with my 
snatch, I've got such muscle control down there. So I began to snap him up 
into me, letting the walls of my vagina grab him inch by inch, and with me 
bein' on top of him, I had complete control of how much of him.went in and 
how fast. I wanted his prick to slither into me, waiting, waiting, to hit my 
cervix - to know, when he got there, that he'd just slammed into a brick 
wall carrying a burning torch. 

But Jon was blissfully unaware of how carefully I was guiding him into my 
cunt; he wasn't appreciating the finer points of my technique. I'd shifted 
breasts on him, and he was happy as all hell suckin' away, with his stiff 
prick inside my hot cunt, being sucked up into my hungry pussy. Later, I'd 
show him another kind of sucking. Right then, though, he thought he was in 
heaven. My abdomen was rubbing against his chest, and I could feel how 
sweaty he was; but it was a clean, good sweat, not the locker-room kind. And 
then I let him hit his mark with his shaft. I shoved my ass down hard on his 
stiff penis and knew I had his undivided attention when he bit down on my 
breast with the contact. It wasn't a hard bite, not enough to bleed or 
anything like that, but I felt playful. I pulled my breast out from his 
mouth and began to swing them back and forth so they knocked against the 
sides of his head, slapping him, sort of. 

"His eyes sprang open, following the motion, and his mouth moved like a big 
fish's, but his eyes were glazed and I don't even think he knew who I was. 
So I began to fuck him, like only a woman can fuck a man. I rode up and down 
his shaft a little faster, then even faster - I knew he'd never hold out 
very long anyway - and then started to rotate my hips. Every time the glans 
was about to topple out of my grabbing cunt, I'd give him a little extra 
circle with my hips then swoop down hard on his wet penis, shoving it all 
the way against the wall of my womb and grinding my pelvis against his. I 
could feel that rod of his all the way up inside me, and it was nice ... 
don't get me wrong - but feeling it inside of me isn't what really turns me 
on the most. I gotta feel it in my mouth, shoving at my tonsils, not my 
cervix. Oh, wow! that grabs me! 

"Anyway, as I'd thought, fucking him for openers wasn't going to take too 
long. I could feel him getting bigger and bigger and I knew it was going to 
be any second. 

"What do you want me to do, baby?' I prodded him, smothering him momentarily 
with my big tits. 'Say it, baby, what do you want me to do?' 

"F-f-fuck me!' he answered, his voice rasping and his breath coming in big 
gasps. 

"Say it again, I didn't hear you.' 

"Fuck me!' he yelled, and even with the cast on his leg, he was really 
slamming it up inside of me like crazy. 

"Sure I'll fuck the baby,* I told him, and then 1 stepped up my tempo, 
grinding and humping with him all tight inside of me. I was actually 
slipping on his pelvis by then, that's how sweaty and creamy we both were. I 
kept hammering at him, saying over and over, 'I'm fuckin' you, baby, I'm 
really fuckin' you, all the way, baby, all the way, feel me fuckin' you? 
Feel my snapping at you? Feel me squeezin' the come out of you with my hot 
twat? Feel it? You want to come now, baby? You want to come?' 

"He 'bout went insane then, and I thought he was goin' to bust his cast the 
way he was squirming to get at me, to get into me deeper and deeper, and 
then he tensed, hovered a second almost in mid-air, and let out a yell you 
wouldn't believe. He just yelled and yelled, and I could feel him coming 
inside of me, wave after wave of burning hot come shooting into my body, 
filling me up so that I could hardly feel his penis anymore for all the hot 
come that surrounded it inside my vagina. 

"I must say, it felt pretty good. I hadn't enjoyed a regular lay like that 
in a hell of a time. But I had other plans yet. / still hadn't come. I 
hadn't been able to orgasm from regular intercourse in a long time, but I 
knew what would turn the trick for me. 

"He fell back, then, exhausted. His penis fell limply from inside of me, and 
I let him get his breath while I lifted myself off of him and padded into 
the bedroom, toward the bathroom. I ran the hot water and washed myself off, 
then helped myself to his terry-cloth robe hanging on the back of the door. 
I found a plastic bowl under the sink and filled it with warm water, then 
took it and a washcloth back to the living room. Jon wasn't panting anymore, 
but he sure as hell wasn't breathing normally. But I took one look at that 
smooth young body of his, glistening in the firelight, and knew that I had 
to get his prick in my mouth soon, or I'd cut it off - one or the other. I 
don't think he'd heard me come into the room. His eyes were closed when I 
put the warm, wet washcloth on his groin and began to wash off his genitals. 
He had a real sweet dong, lying limp like that. Some guys always look like 
they're halfway to a hard on, but not Jon. His looked like a baby boy's, all 
fleshy and short - though God knows it wasn't short once he got it up - and 
it looked as if he'd never used it for anything but peeing in his entire 
life. 

"But he opened his eyes when I began to bathe him, and he had the silliest 
smirk on his face I'd seen. I couldn't help it, I just leaned over and 
kissed that silly grin - and then he sighed and watched me. I'd put his robe 
on to keep my shoulders warm, but it was open all down the front - he could 
see anything he wanted to, and I made sure there was plenty for him to enjoy 
... especially that my snatch matches my head. I'm kind of vain about being 
a natural redhead, and my pubic hair is sort of unusual in that it grows 
like a valentine around my pussy - almost begging to be loved. Anyhow, I 
washed him slowly and carefully, playing with his balls and teasing around 
his anus - ail those juices always slop down the crack of your ass. I knew 
it would take time to arouse him again, and I was quite happy to let him 
have as long as he needed - or wanted - as long as I could keep my ultimate 
target right in my hands, constantly in view. And it didn't take him all 
that long, really. Maybe a half hour was all. 

"Do you like me washing your penis, Jon?' 

"It-it's very, uh, very soothing. Bella,' he said and lifted himself to one 
elbow. 'I hadn't thought things would go as far as....' 

"Shh. What're you worried about? I'm a nurse. It's my job to make you feel 
better; You do feel better, don't you, Jon?' 

"He slumped back then. 'Hell yes! I've never known anything to be so great!' 

"Well then?' I said it in a way that he could know I wasn't expecting him to 
answer me, then rested my face on his tummy, looking at him. His face, that 
is. I'd have plenty of chance to see what I really wanted very soon. I just 
looked at him, quietly, and continued to play with his scrotum, caressing 
and, very lightly, like you would a kitten, squeezing his balls. Every once 
in a while, like it was a mistake, I'd let my hand, or just a finger, touch 
his anus. I could feel him tense up right away at that contact, but he 
didn't pull away. With my other hand, I began to trace little patterns on 
his chest, pausing briefly over his nipples and watching them shrivel up 
into tight little pebbles, then just glancing across the hairs on his chest, 
down to his ribs, to his navel, then slowly back up again. The time seemed 
about right. 'Jon? Jon, do you like me?' 

"Well, sure! I mean, of course I do.' 

"Relax, baby,' I said, laughing to show that I meant it. 'I don't expect you 
to marry me or anything like that.' 

"Well, uh, then like ... like what?' 

"Would you do Bella a great, great big favor?' By then I was playing with 
his penis, just toying with it. 

"Yeah, yeah, I guess so,' he answered a little hesitantly. 

"Sit up, baby. Sit up and put your legs on either side of me. Here, I'll 
help you put the broken one on the coffee table.' He did as I said without 
any words, but I could see his eyes were filled with curiosity. 'There. Are 
you comfortable? Is your leg all right?' 

"Yeah. I'm fine.' 

"He had to look right past his own penis to see my face since I was sitting 
on my haunches, right in-between his legs, right in front of his sweet 
prick, his balls resting lightly on the cushion of the couch. His dick was 
beginning to come to life with the closeness of my face, with my soft 
breathing on it - maybe he hadn't totally figured out what I was goin' to 
do, but I don't think he much cared. I began to blow cool air at his dick 
from just a few inches away, making a small circle with my lips so that I 
could aim where my breath would hit him. 

"What'd you have in mind, Bella?' 

"I smiled sweetly. 'Did these other girls you went to bed with, did they 
ever want to kiss your penis? Tell me, Jon, you can tell me. I'm a nurse, so 
don't be shy.' 

"Even in the dim light, I could see the color rushing to his face again. 'Do 
what?' 

"Kiss your penis,' I repeated, and then I very quickly lowered my head and 
gave his pecker a light kiss along the shaft. Like a sisterly kiss, nothing 
to frighten him. 'A lot of girls don't know about intimate things like that, 
or if they do, they don't like to do it. They think a penis is dirty - ugly. 
But I don't. I think the male organ is a beautiful thing - especially when 
it gives as much pleasure as yours does.' Then I kissed it again, the same 
way, but on the other side. This time, I could feel his reaction to my lips 
on his prick; he was holding his breath, but it sure as hell wasn't out of 
fear or worry. And even if it had been, with his leg in a cast stretched out 
on the coffee table, he wasn't going to go anywhere. So I brought my face up 
and rested it on the inside of his thigh, my lips just brushing against his 
groin, my nose nuzzling his pubic hairs, breathing on his penis. There was 
no mistaking his reaction then, he started to swell slowly but steadily. I 
could have just stayed there and waited for it to swell right up into my 
mouth by its own accord, but I like semierections to suck on, I like to feel 
the way they pulse and swell inside my hungry mouth, hell, my anxious mouth! 

"Anyhow, I could hear his breathing getting short again. Without looking up 
at him, I asked, 'Do you want me to kiss your .penis again?' 

"If - if you want to,' he said, but he was already trying to lift his 
buttocks toward my lips. 

"I took the sweet thing and looked at it for a moment, enjoying its 
semirigid state, knowing what it would soon be once I got my mouth around it 
and then I had to put it inside without waiting even one more second. I 
sighed as I lay the tip of it on my lower lip, extending my tongue so that I 
could tease the small little hole into giving me its pearl. 

"Oh, my God!' he moaned. 'Oh, my God!' 

"Do you like that?' I whispered while letting the glans rest on my lower 
lip, then I began to roll my tongue on the underside and curl around the 
ridge of the knob while I let his balls rest in the palm of my right hand. I 
was just grazing his anus with the tip of my little finger, but nothing 
else. Jon seemed terribly tense, so I decided to take his mind off of my 
little finger by taking his penis farther into my mouth, rolling it like a 
good cigar, savoring it on my tongue and pushing against my cheeks. 

"But this is so different,' he moaned, almost as if he were in an anatomy 
class and had come across some strange discovery. 'It's the same idea, but 
it - it feels so - so different!'. 

"By then, he really had a hard on going for him, and for me. I wasn't even 
listening to him anymore. I had what I wanted. A big fat juicy prick in my 
mouth, balls in my hand, and a tight, waiting asshole. I gave myself up to 
the enjoyment of sucking him, of playing with him, of taking the whole 
throbbing organ into my throat and then letting it slip out so I could kiss 
it all over, bury my face in his crotch with his penis hot against my cheek 
like a pounding poker trying to sneak in my ear. Then, I'd take it back into 
my mouth and suction it, listening to his moans as I did it but not really 
hearing him. This was my turn - he'd already gotten his rocks off. And I 
could feel my own juices begin to run down my legs, feel my clit burning 
bigger each time I took him farther and farther into my throat. I didn't 
want to be bothered with finding out if he'd suck me or not, or worry about 
changing positions at that point, so I stuck two fingers of my left hand 
inside my cunt, using my thumb to stimulate my clit even more than it 
already was. At least when I did myself, I could control the pressure and 
how fast I would come. I like to time my orgasms so that I can come when the 
guy shoots off in my mouth. You can't always do that when he's suckin' you 
off. So I'd shove my fingers inside myself and bring out gobs of the sticky 
mucus, then rub it around my swollen vaginal area and up around my hot, 
nervous clit, and at the same time feel his dong, throbbing and just as hot 
as my clit was, sliding in and out, in and out of my mouth, past my lips. 

"I saw his hands reaching for my breasts, sn I brought myself up a little so 
he could reach 'em. Jon sure liked titties. He started massaging them, 
kneading them, and groaning and moaning. At one point, he even opened his 
eyes and watched me for a while, but I guess he was feel-in' too good to 
want to keep it up. He closed his eyes again and let his head fall to the 
back of the couch, where he just rolled it side to side. 

"There's a point in lovemaking when you're so damned hot your asshole is hot 
too. Most people don't pay any attention to that, but it's true. You can't 
explain when that moment occurs, you just gotta have enough experience to 
know it, to sense it. And I knew that Jon wasn't far from that moment. So 
far, I'd stuck to stroking his balls and just touching his asshole, but his 
penis was getting like a steel rod in a furnace, and it was just a matter of 
timing. I always let a lot of saliva drool out of my mouth when I'm suckin' 
off a guy; that way, some of it gets to be in the right position, but we 
were right at that time. He had the broken leg straight out in front of him, 
and the other leg was crooked, his foot using the coffee table as a means of 
lifting up his pelvis so he could get more of his penis into my mouth, so he 
could pump at me. Later in the week I was able to get him to calm down, to 
just hold still and let me do the work, but that was later in the week. 
Right then, I was too hot to even think about things like that. It'd been 
too long since I'd had a guy come in my mouth, too long since I'd felt that 
weird power that comes over me when I'm doin' it. 

"Almost in anticipation of what I was going to do to him, I moved my fingers 
out from inside my vagina and stuck my index finger inside my own asshole. 
Boy, was / ready! could've gotten a telephone pole up my ass and never have 
felt it! Some people think that's a dirty practice - and a gynecologist 
would have a fit! - but I keep both orifices exceptionally clean and I 
douche out both cavities every day. If there's a man around, I douche even 
more often. I like to be ready for anything--- 

"Anyhow, as I was fuckin' my own asshole and then switchin' to fuck my own 
pussy, I realized that Jon was watching me again, his eyes bigger and bigger 
as it dawned on him just what the hell I was doin'. It really seemed to get 
to him. His prick about leaped out of my mouth, but I didn't let it go. Hell 
no! no big hot prick is going to get away from my mouth when I want it! An' 
that's just about any old time of the day or night. I'd go to sleep with a 
dildoe in my mouth if I knew where to buy one! 

"Then Jon seemed to really go out of his head. He let go of my breasts and 
grabbed my head with his hands, guiding it, pulling it toward him then 
letting me pull back a little. He was ramming his penis in and out of my 
mouth like it was the hottest, tightest, best cunt ever in this 
mutha-fuckin' world - and damn it to hell, it is! Then I knew it was time. 
Without breaking rhythm or even moving enough for him to know the 
difference, I took my forefinger and index finger together and shoved them 
right up his ass! 

"He must've leaped a yard, but he didn't stop me, he didn't pull away, or 
anything else. Oh, wow, was he gettin' it good! I could hear him like he was 
gagging, choking on something, but there was nothin' in his mouth. I shoved 
my fingers as far as I could make 'em go, then curled the tips up and spread 
them apart inside him, making them big like he had a penis up there. I 
wanted to stop everything and suck his ass, but I knew he wasn't experienced 
enough for me to break the momentum once he was with it. So I just kept 
finger-fuckin' his asshole with my right hand, sucking his dick as far back 
as it would go, and, at the same time, using my left hand to work on my own 
vagina and asshole. 

"You could of heard the noises we were making even over the ocean, the way 
everything was slurping and slopping, running together, sweating, pumping, 
humping, sucking, and fucking. It was great. I didn't want it to end, but I 
could hear the kid with that low yell of his starting up, and I knew he'd be 
pumping his juices right into my waiting mouth any second, right down my 
throat like some nectar being spurted out of a Roman fountain. And then he 
was doin' it, and comin' and comin' so that I hardly had a chance to swallow 
his semen as fast as he was spewing it into my mouth. Oh, God, it was good! 
And I kept right on finger-fuckin' him, and me too, until I knew he'd had it 
- for a while, anyway. 

"Anyway, that's how we got the week started. He was an awfully good pupil 
and learned real fast. Took to pussy suckin' fast, too. I still see Jon once 
in a while. He's married now, but his wife's a square. You know the type. 
She thinks a guy gets on top, pokes around for five minutes until he gets 
his rocks off, and that's it. Jon says he doesn't know how to break her in 
on the really fun things to do. Well, I've learned a lot more since that 
week with Jon - and sure as hell a lot more than I ever dreamed of knowing 
that first time with old Joe! And maybe now I'm ready to try my hand at some 
of all that frustrated pussy that's lying around. Jon and I are setting up 
plans for a little threesome real soon now. But he knows it'll have to wait 
until after this current case I'm on - he's a friend of old Joe who told him 
to specifically ask for me at the Registry. He's not young or handsome or 
anything, but what he's got you can't buy! There's one guy you can suck on 
for hour after hour, and he just never comes until he's good and ready to - 
almost like he's got a switch he flips on and off. Wild!" 

Basically, the case of Bella R - may be considered as an example of a woman 
who makes full use of her faculties, without actually falling into the 
classification of either a compulsive oralist or a nymphomaniac. Her 
professional calling, nursing, simply makes her search for sexual 
gratification that much easier, and the apparent caution with which she 
engages in her activities (which are not forced upon anyone, really) 
displays her use of her better judgment. Her ability to enjoy both 
oral-genital play as well as vaginal intercourse dispels any suspicions that 
she might be strictly orally oriented, even though she appears to terminate 
her search for gratification in an oral situation. 

Chapter Five 

Nurse Fall, Nurse Go Down 

"All I can say is that I got hooked on it, have actually become addicted to 
it - and that's a helluva self-diagnosis for me to come up with. I mean, 
one-time psychiatric nurse - with ambitions even of going on to med school 
for a doctorate - winding up as a - a pervert. And I really don't know whom 
to blame. It's difficult being objective when you know you're screwed up. I 
mean, being a pervert is bad enough - and there's no question of that in my 
mind; to put it bluntly, fucking just doesn't do a thing for me anymore. 
It's either going down or nothing at all. No reaction - except, of course, 
if I think sue - sorry, fellatio and cunnilingus, or both. Then.... 
Sometimes it works. But even dwelling upon it doesn't do it if the guy I 
wind up with starts thinking, heavily thinking, you know - like prying my 
legs apart and trying to run his rod into my slit - about screwing. Off! 
Like a cold shower. And it's not that I abhor intercourse, or have some 
distorted idea about it, it's just that I want it in my mouth so much that 
the thought of not getting it where I want it turns me off. I've got to feel 
it, taste it, smell it, see it - and you can hear all the wild slurping 
sloshy sounds much, much better when you're right on top of things____And 
the sensations of a mouth working between my thighs, licking around the 
lips, darting inside, teasing the clit - just blows my mind.... God, it 
frightens me. I mean, hearing myself speak. Were I listening, 
professionally, I mean, I'd probably come up with a 'hopeless' - no, that's 
emotional - with a 'psychotic' verdict. But that could be one of my 
problems, my trying to diagnose myself all this time instead of turning my 
botched-up libido over to an impersonal, objective scrutiny. 

"As I said, I don't know whom to blame - primarily because 'blame' is, of 
course, a no-no word in psychiatry. It suggests - what? Paranoia? A guilt 
complex? Who was it - Murray, I think - who even coined a term for the 
motive to avoid blame. Called it blameavoidance. Which makes me a 
'blameseeker,' I guess..... 

"Anyway, I think the problem goes back to last year - I was nineteen, then - 
to my first trial-tenure as a psychiatric nurse. It was an inculcation the 
chief psychiatrist there - a psychiatric unit in a general hospital - 
hammered day in and day out at all the nurses who turned to him with a 
problem they might have run into with any one of the patients. He used to 
drawl out - from some source I haven't been able to locate yet - 'The nurse 
creates an atmosphere of trust, sup-port, and confi-dence for the patient,' 
he'd say. He had this habit of clipping words while he was drawling them 
out, and stressing them in the oddest manner. 'She enables him to verb-a\ize 
his con-cerres and problems, and to gain in-sight into the na-ture of his 
problems.' Basically, the way I understood it, he believed that the only way 
to tear a patient away from any compulsive obsession he or she might have 
was to have that patient become interested in some other thing, but of a 
similar nature. Which is - I'm certain - where I made my first mistake. Of 
becoming involved with this one - the first of quite a few - poor soul who 
had an obsession. And, boy, did he have an obsession! He jack - ah - he 
masturbated. Like, I mean, all the time. Mortimer was his name. About forty 
years old. Used to be a painter - a house painter, I mean. Lost his job 
because of too much drinking. Wife left him. I guess that's when something 
snapped in his mind. Pathetic---- 

"Anyway, the first time I saw him, he was sitting on the edge of his bed, 
staring out the window, and beating his property like it was condemned. 
Needless to say, I wasn't prepared for such a demonstration. It was a first 
in my book. So, I got hot and bothered - so hot and bothered, in fact, that 
I ground my thighs together all the way to the ladies' rest room. I knew I 
wasn't a lady then - but there wasn't much choice. So I got in a stall, 
raised my uniform dress, pulled down my panties, and, trembling like a silly 
schoolgirl, twiddled my excited pussy off to a nice quick orgasm. Then - and 
this is really something, although I don't really know what - I remembered 
my function at the hospital. I found Mortimer's chart and made a notation on 
it. I remember I wrote: Mortimer Masterbated. 

"The next day, first thing in the morning when I came on duty, the doctor 
called me into his office and told me that no one masturbated with a capital 
M and an e, and that my observation was not enlightening since, if I would 
have taken the pains to read Mortimer's file I would have known, Mortimer 
had been admitted to the psychiatric ward because he himself had committed 
himself because he couldn't control his urge to masturbate. And then, of 
course, came the old spiel: 'The nurse creates the atmosphere. .. ' 

"So, right after the morning coffee break - it took me a while to decide on 
the course of action - I headed straight for Mortimer's room. 

"Now, I've got to admit to one other circumstance that might have had 
something to do with what happened after bedcheck that night. I mean, I 
wasn't in the best of emotional states. I had been hurt - for the first time 
in my life, I might add - in a way that only jilted girls can get hurt. 
Particularly, jilted girls who really love. Like I loved this bastard - 
Vance, a philosophy major at the same college I was going to. Briefly - 
because it makes me mad even this long after it'd happened - I found him in 
my room, in my bed, ramming his filthy philosophic cock into my roommate's 
greedy cunt. I mean, it was in the very same bed in which the night before 
he had asked me to marry him. This happened about three days before my first 
encounter with Mortimer. I wonder sometimes if some kind of stupid revenge 
wasn't behind my tangle with Mortimer. Or maybe an attempt to prove my own 
femininity in my own eyes.... But - with a mental patient? I don't know---- 

"But, as I was saying, I thought - no, I forced myself to believe - that I 
was going about my nursing duties when I softly walked up to the door to 
Mortimer's room and gently pushed it open. He heard me, however. As soon as 
I stepped through the door, he yanked a copy of Rosicrucian Digest off his 
bedside table - I don't know why in the world the hospital administration 
had a policy of scattering some of the most unlikely magazines around, but 
it did.... Anyway, Mortimer pulled this magazine off the table and tried to 
cover his obviously exposed crotch with it, making at the same time like he 
was deeply engrossed in reading something in the magazine. His reaction kind 
of puzzled me. I mean, here he was, self-committed, aware of his problem, 
yet attempting to conceal that same problem from those who were trying to 
help him solve it. But that gave me the opening to start getting 'involved,' 
which, as I said, I am sure was the beginning of my trip down. Yeah! 

"I sat down on the edge of his bed, about a foot away from him - Mortimer 
was actually a good-looking man, although a little on the emaciated side - 
and asked, 'What have you got there, Mortimer?' 

"He jumped slightly, looked toward me, tried to look surprised, then tried 
to smile, then said, 'Shit.' 

"I wasn't prepared for that. I mean, I wasn't sure just how he meant the 
remark. After all, he was in a psychiatric ward, right? And he might very 
well have imagined that the magazine in his lap was something other than 
what it really was. Hallucinations, you know? So I smiled my sweetest, 
nineteen-year-old smile at him, and shook my head. 

"It's a magazine, Mortimer,' I said, like I was talking to a kindergartner. 

"Immediately the smile left his face. He appeared annoyed - for which, of 
course, I couldn't blame him. I knew I had interrupted him in the midst of 
an activity that was undeniably quite important to him - in his mind, 
anyway. Besides, I was coming on like a novice, and I knew it. But his 
features softened some a second later and he whispered, 'Yes, honey, I 
know.' Then added, 'I'm sorry. It just slipped out.' 

"And that left me nowhere. I mean; he was not really behaving like a 
psychotic - at least, I didn't think so; at the time, in fact, I don't think 
he was anything but embarrassed. Which began to make me feel embarrassed, 
and then horny - but I caught myself, remembering that I was there to help. 

"Mortimer,' I said, crossing my legs. I recall every detail because 
everything that happened was a follow-up on everything that preceded 
everything that happened. Uh - cause-and-effect-in-a-chain-reaction sort of 
thing. Okay? Anyway, as soon as I crossed my legs, Mortimer's eyes shot 
toward them, then glanced away. 

"His hand moved off the magazine, slowly, and disappeared under it. The 
motion of his wrist was unmistakable. 

"Mortimer,' I repeated, clearing my throat. I was trying to dismiss the 
strange hint of excitement I felt between my thighs. 

"Yes, miss,' he said, not looking at me, his hand still moving - though 
slowly - underneath the magazine. 

"My name is Pamela.' I paused. Then I got up enough courage, figuring that I 
was a nurse, right? Ha! I was getting hot, that's all. Suddenly, I realized 
that here was an opportunity to get even with Vance. Of course, there was no 
way for him to find out, but what the hell - / would know. 'Mortimer,' I 
said, in as feminine and compassionate a voice as I could bring out, 'tell 
me - why do you do it?' 

"He shrugged his shoulders. Of course, how could he know? If he knew, he 
wouldn't have had reason to be there, right? Just as, if / knew, I wouldn't 
be telling all this____ 

"So I asked him if his wife had left him because he masturbated. Only I used 
the words 'because you did what you are doing now.' 

"He shook his head. 'She left because I was a lousy husband.' 

"Your sex life?' 

"The hand under the magazine paused then, suddenly, started moving faster. 
'I - I don't want to talk about it,' he muttered. 

"I had an urge to yank the Rosicrucian Digest off his lap. I wanted to see 
what he had there. I mean, at that point I wanted to know if - you know - if 
I was getting itchy in my pants for a worthwhile reason. I squeezed my legs 
together real tight, instead, clasped my hands together, and asked,'Did 
she?"What?' 

"Want to talk about it.' 

"Suddenly his hand stopped moving under the slick paper tent. He sighed 
deeply - for a second I thought he had stroked himself off to a climax - 
then turned his face toward me. He nodded his head; his green eyes - that 
was the first time I noticed their color - looked both frantic and tired at 
the same time. 'Yes,' he said. 'Yes. She talked about it. She talked about 
it all the time. All the time, that is, that I wanted to do it. She was 
telling me why this was wrong, that was filthy, this was perverted, that was 
disgusting.... She would agree to having sex only in our house, in our 
oedroom - even though, since we had no kids, there was never anyone else in 
the house - in our bed, with the lights out, and a rubber on my - ' He 
stopped abruptly and turned away from me toward the window. The motion made 
the magazine slide off his lap and fall to the floor. He didn't seem to 
notice, or care. 

"Now, I know that at that point - being a nurse and all - I should have 
either bent down, picked the magazine off the floor and replaced it in his 
lap, or taken the towel off the foot of the bed and covered him with that. 
Instead, I let my eyes quickly drop to where the magazine had been - to his 
cock ... and balls.... He didn't have a hard on, but neither was his penis 
hanging limp. I mean, it was obvious that he had had it up - I mean, I was 
sure he did because it was arched out from the thick black curls of pubic 
hairs at its base, like it was bent into a curve by the gravity that was 
trying to pull it down, pull it down against the force of his - or its - 
will, need, craving, whatever, to remain erect. I had no doubt that the 
conversation had made it wilt____ 

"I'll say one thing - the sight of it made me tremble. I don't know why. I'd 
seen men's sex organs before. Hell, I'd more than seen them. I was no 
virgin. Vance - but I don't want to talk about him____Anyway, in short, I 
suddenly wanted Mortimer's cock. At the time, I had no specific idea of how 
I wanted it. I don't think there was any thought of anything out of the 
ordinary. I mean - you know - I wanted to make it rock-hard, to feel it... 
probably inside my slit, way inside my slit. My mind whirled like it was 
caught in a wishing machine, and it was figuring out ways on how to make my 
pussy-wishes come true. Actually, it didn't take much cogitation. 

"I glanced quickly toward the door, saw that it was half shut, then in one 
movement shifted right next to Mortimer, turning my back in such a way that 
if anyone walked into the room the first thing they would see would be my 
back, and placed my trembling hand - palm-down, fingers curled - on 
Mortimer's half-rigid muscle.... 

"It was hot. It jerked slightly when the cool skin of my hand and fingers 
came in contact with its firm warmth. I felt Mortimer's breath catch in his 
lungs. I had a terrible time trying to keep my own breathing even. As my 
fingers curled further, closing around the muscle, feeling the thickening 
and hardening effect their touch produced on it, I said in a soft voice, 
'She was cruel to you, Mortimer.' 

"I waited for him to turn to me. When he did - his eyes soft, his mouth half 
open in astonishment - I squeezed my fingers firmly around his no longer 
semirigid cock and moved my hand slowly and in short strokes up and down. 
'There is nothing, Mortimer,' I said softly, looking into his eyes, trying 
to keep my composure and having a helluva time with it - I mean, I was hot 
in the crotch of my panties - 'wrong, or filthy, or perverted, or disgusting 
in aything that a man and his wife - or a man and any woman, for that matter 
- agree to do in bed, or out of it.' 

"The next instant, his hand, which I was watching out of the corner of my 
eye, crept off his lap and onto mine. I waited for it to start moving under 
the hem of my uniform. I didn't have to wait long. And as soon as his 
fingers were under it - between my legs, of course (I mean, Mortimer knew 
where what was) - I shook my head, said, 'Later,' and tucked his hard on 
into the fly of his pajama bottoms. Forced it in, really. 

"Immediately, his hand shot to it, frantically trying to bring it out into 
the open again. 'Please,' he muttered, 'I want - ' 

"Mortimer!' I snapped at him. 'If you jack off - ' My voice must have been 
pretty genuinely threatening, because I didn't have to finish the threat. 
His hand shook, but he drew it slowly away from the almost grotesque bulge 
in the cotton front of his pajama bottoms. I could see a portion of the 
purple, plumlike head of his erection showing through the opening in the 
material. I moved my hand slowly toward it, placed it around the top of the 
tentlike protrusion and, squeezing it, said, 'Tonight - after bed-check.' 

"He nodded his head, then placed his hand on my arm. 'Please promise.' 

"I said, 'I promise,' got up off his bed, and slowly left the room, giving 
him a small wave from the door. 

"I'll say one thing now. I had a struggle of a time keeping myself away from 
the ladies' room. Hell, I almost had an accident, trying to put off going 
there even when I had to. Actually, that was silly. I mean, a woman can have 
a number of orgasms one after another. But then, it wasn't exactly that that 
I was concerned about. I was afraid that if I went into one of the stalls 
and diddled myself off as I had already done earlier that morning, I would 
have somehow lost the emotional charge that I felt building up in me. 

"Anyway, it took me a little lying to get the head nurse to agree to letting 
me work a split shift that day. I don't remember exactly what I told her I 
had to do that afternoon, but she let me off at noon with the understanding 
that I would report back for duty at eight in the evening. Bedcheck in the 
psychiatric ward was at nine, but I figured I'd need an hour to check 
everything out - like who was on, how many nurses were going to be on the 
ward - you know, that sort of thing.... 

"It was nine-fifteen when I sneaked into Mortimer's room. Before going 
there, I made sure that the other nurse on duty - it turned out that the 
hours between nine and eleven were usually uneventful enough so that only 
two nurses were required - was well out of the way. I actually had no 
problem there since, shortly after nine, she made a broad hint that she 
didn't know how she was going to last the remaining two hours of her shift 
without getting a cup of coffee. Immediately, I had suggested to her that 
she go on downstairs to the coffee shop - it was actually the employees' 
lounge with vending machines - and relax for a while. There was a phone 
there, so I told her that if I ran into any problems with which I couldn't 
cope singlehand-edly I'd give her a call downstairs. With only five patients 
in the unit - with four of them asleep (I had made the bedcheck myself) and 
one quite awake and expectant (I had given him a brief wave when I had 
peeked into his room) - I foresaw no reason for any interruptions when I got 
to my 'therapy session' with Mortimer. 

"So, when the other nurse left, I wasted no time in getting to Mortimer. I 
was a little apprehensive of catching him with his business in his hand 
again. I had checked his chart for the afternoon and had learned that he had 
made somewhat of a nuisance of himself that afternoon. In the eight-hour 
period, from noon until eight, he had rung his bedside buzzer over 
twenty-five times, asking - according to the chart - for everything from 
time to a glass of water to a trip to the patients' lounge to a scratch for 
his back "at a spot where he claimed he couldn't reach," the notation said. 
He explained his behavior, however, as soon as I came into his room and 
pulled the door shut. On the outside doorknob I had hung a Do Not Disturb 
sign - just in case. 

"I've been going mad all day, Pamela,' he said when I was in the room. He 
was lying on the bed, his arms under his head. The bed had been raised to an 
upright, sitting position. 

"I smiled at him, amused at his somewhat inappropriate choice of words. 'How 
do you mean?' I asked, walking up to the side of the bed and placing my hand 
on his shoulder. I felt him shudder slightly. 

"Waiting for you - wondering if you would come. Wondering if you were 
telling me the truth this morning. Wondering if your promise meant 
anything.' He paused, withdrew his arms from under his head and brought his 
hands down to rest on my hips. 'After all, a promise to a madman - ' 

"Mortimer - ' I cut in, but he continued as if I hadn't said anything. 

" - is a promise that need not be kept.' 

"Momentarily, I felt my heart contract, hold, then skip a beat. 'I try never 
to break a promise - no matter whom I make it to,' I said, feeling that I 
had, somehow, said the wrong thing again. But Mortimer just smiled. His 
hands pressed a little firmer against my hips. 

"I hate women who wear girdles,' he said. 

"But I'm not - " 

"That's why I said it,' he whispered. Then: 'I thought of you all day, 
Pamela. I thought of you - thought of you ... and thought of myself, trying 
to - ' He stopped, his eyes fixed on mine. 

"It's absolutely ridiculous, but I forgot totally that I was a nurse, that 
he was.... I bent down toward him, my lips burning, my mouth half open, and 
brushed my lips against his. Then my mouth came back to his, crushed against 
his, open, his tongue sliding like a thick serpent into it. He had moved to 
his side, to face me, and his knee was wedged in between my thighs. I 
lowered my body so that his knee was no longer just between my thighs, but 
was higher - grinding, pressing, playing a fiery havoc in and around my 
pussy. The combination of his tongue action - screwing in and out of my 
mouth - and of his knee pressing against my pubic bone, then slipping 
beneath it and into the soft pillow of flesh and hair bordering my slit, 
made my mind go to pieces. I spread my legs as far as the uniform would 
allow and straddled his knee, worked it in further between my thighs, then 
bore down on it, feeling the coolness of the sweat and juices soaking the 
crotch of my panties, pressing in between my vaginal lips and into them. 

"When he finally slid his lips off mine, I groaned, sobbed almost. His mouth 
worked down my chin, to my throat, then slid toward the vale between my 
breasts. His words - he gasped them out in-between each hot, moist kiss - 
made me whimper. 

I "Oh, Pamela - Pamela,' he whispered, his Ivoice unsteady, his hands moving 
up on my hips, pulling my uniform up with them, 'I was - afraid____ I was 
afraid that - I'd been - dreaming____" His hands moved over my stomach to 
the front of the uniform. 'I must still - be dreaming!' His fingers 
trembled, fumbled with the buttons down the front of the uniform. But he 
managed them. His fingers felt hot through my slip, then still hotter when 
he raised its nylon and palmed my stomach with his hands - only the thin 
gauze of my panties between the heat of his hands and the heat of my skin. 
'Am I dreaming, Pamela? Am I dreaming?' 

"I shook my head, then realized he couldn't see my head - -his face was 
inches away from my pantie-covered mound of fur and skin and juices. 'No - 
oh, God, no!' I muttered, losing my balance, falling on the bed over him, 
delirious with the feel of his hands sliding my panties over my hips, down, 
down, down until I felt the cool air of the room and the heat of his breath 
ruffling my pussy hairs. 'Does it look like a dream, Mortimer?' I managed to 
gasp out, feeling a hardness under my left elbow, a firmness that could be 
nothing but---- 

"I shifted my body slightly and moaned. He was lifting my legs off the 
floor, raising my lower torso up high, then lowering it - my thighs spread 
by his strong hands - lowering it until I felt a firm, moist, trembling 
shaft delving in between my pussy lips, entering me, then withdrawing with a 
flick against my clitoris. I had to suppress the whimper that fluttered up 
to my lips. I tore at the sheets on Mortimer's body until the hardness that 
had nudged me in the elbow was a rigid staff of flesh in front of my face. I 
grasped it with one hand and bent it toward my mouth. 

"Ummmm - honrmneyyy!' His lively tongue hummed against my pussy lips, 
licking up and down their length, sucking one then the other into his mouth, 
his lips alternated, now and then catching a clump of pussy hairs and 
pulling on it, pulling on it, then releasing it - and sliding his tongue 
back in, all the way in ... until his lips were pressed flush around my 
slit. 

"Unable to stand the action of his tongue, teeth - he nibbled on my clit 
with them, on my puffy and sensitive pussy lips, on the mound above the 
moisture-filled opening - and lips, I opened my mouth wide and brought it 
down over the plum-smooth head of his cock. I kept moving down on it until I 
felt the smoothness lodge in my throat. I gagged, trying to keep my 
whimpering, my moaning under control at the same time, then withdrew my 
mouth until just the crown of his hard on was inside my mouth. I let my 
tongue play around the hot, moist, smooth head - I tried to slide the tip of 
my tongue into the slit - I sucked - I rolled it around inside my mouth with 
my tongue, all the time bucking my hips up and down over his face, grinding 
my snatch into his face, spreading my legs as far as they would go, then 
bringing them together until I felt his ears compressed against the sweaty, 
hot insides of my thighs. 

"I had never before felt the sensations that were coursing through my body 
within the next few minutes, seconds - I wasn't sure of the time at all. All 
I knew is that all of my nerve endings seemed to have been concentrated in 
my mouth and my vagina; they seemed to be two centers from which all 
sensations spread and encompassed my entire body in a turbulent whirlpool of 
lust. I wanted, craved, needed relief, and at the same time I wanted to give 
Mortimer the relief that he needed so much. It's odd, but in the middle of 
our thrashing I suddenly wondered if Mortimer ever came when he jacked 
himself off. I wondered if he weren't---- 

"It wasn't long before I found out that he wasn't. No, he was not impotent. 
I'll vouch for that! And I - I, sure as hell, wasn't frigid. 

"He made me come first. I don't know what exactly it was that he did (I 
don't think that his sliding his finger progressively further and further 
into my anus had anything to do with it, I don't know), but whatever it was, 
I had suddenly felt this indescribable feeling sweeping over me - like 
somebody had strummed a chord on a set of taut strings I knew were both 
nonexistent and, at the same time, were all attached to the nub of 
flesh-muscle at the top of my vaginal slit. It just about made me pass out. 
I remember that I had an urge to scream, but couldn't - not with Mortimer's 
cock throbbing and pulsating in my mouth. I swear I could feel the blood 
pump in and out of it, alternating its rigidity and size from firm and large 
to rock-hard and enormous. 

"I know that at the moment I felt the churning inside my pussy reach a 
violence that made my whole body tremble, I clamped my thighs tightly 
against Mortimer's head, pressed my sa-liva-and-juice-soaked mound into his 
mouth, and bore down with my teeth into the rigidity of his cock in my 
mouth. Fortunately, I caught myself doing that last thing. I slackened the 
hold, let out a howl, and then felt his come spurting, spurting, spurting - 
God, I thought he'd never stop squirting his hot, thick semen into my 
throat. I have to admit, I gagged on the first load, but I gulped and 
swallowed it just in time to catch the next batch, adjust my breathing, and 
start drinking the syrup being delivered from his balls. 

"When it was all over, I felt like just lying there on top of him, feeling 
his softening penis lying relaxed between my half-open lips, feeling his 
breath against the dampness of my crotch. But he nudged me. 

"Pamela, darling?' 

"I raised my head, turned my face toward him, and smiled. 'Ummmm!' I moaned. 
Then, realizing that I had no idea how long I'd been in his room, I rolled 
off him, picked up my panties off the floor, stuck them in the uniform 
pocket, covered his nakedness with the sheet, and, bending over him, kissed 
him briefly on the lips. The idea that his semen and my vaginal fluids were 
mixing in that fleeting kiss sort of thrilled me. As I straightened up, 
Mortimer caught hold of my hand and brought it to his lips. 

"I was almost at the door when he called my name. I turned around. 'Yes, 
Mortimer?' I asked him, smiling. 

"He looked at me kind of strangely, shrugged his shoulders almost 
imperceptibly, then shook his head. I thought I heard him sigh, but I'm not 
sure. 

"Anyway, that was the last I saw of him. The next day he asked for a 
discharge. That's what I was told, anyhow. I was off duty that day and the 
next. But I didn't pine for Mortimer - not for long. He was followed by a 
string of other more than willing patients - and nonpatents - there as well 
as the other places I worked. None of them ever got to sticking their cocks 
in between my legs. For some reason, I didn't want that. And there were no 
problems, really - I mean, you know, Vance was totally forgotten. And I 
don't suppose there would have been any problems if what happened last week 
hadn't happened - my going down on Peter. That was his name - Peter. Peter, 
the prick." 

In Psalm 116 of the King James Version of the Bible, a psalm attributed to 
King David, it is written: "All men are liars." It is a truism that 
encompasses more than verbally proclaimed falsehoods - it includes unspoken 
and disguised self-deceptions as well - and is a facet of man's personality 
without which it is doubtful that there would be any need for the science of 
abnormal psychology. Sir Thomas Browne, a noted seventeenth-century author 
and physician of England, recognized this folly of man some two millenia 
after King David's psalmody, stating, in his Religio Medici, that "every man 
[is] his greatest enemy, and, as it were, his own executioner." 

In Pamela's case, this self-deception becomes obvious even if one has 
nothing but the preceding and following segments of her narrative to go by. 
Actually, when one considers the fact that oral-genital activity, in spite 
of its wide incidence, is still classified in most codices of law as a crime 
(Samuel G. Kling, in his Sexual Behavior and the Law, writes: "Under our 
present outmoded laws, both [fellatio and cunnilingus] are punishable under 
statutes against sodomy, usually with severe sentences." Jean Strouse, in Up 
Against the Law, echoes Kling with the words: "There are laws which say that 
any sexual penetration of any body opening other than the vagina and by the 
penis is to be considered sodomy - meaning that husbands and wives can be 
sent to jail for privately engaging in mouth-genital ... contacts."), it is 
not surprising that Pamela, being undoubtedly aware of such laws, chose at 
the very outset of her narrative to proclaim herself a "pervert." There can 
be no question that she herself did not believe this self-diagnosis. Her 
words, "there were no problems, really, until last week" (the week that she 
was exposed, that is) belie both her insistence of being a "pervert" 

and her relatively sudden decision to seek psychiatric help. (It should be 
pointed out that Pamela turned toward a psychiatrist of her own volition; 
the administration of the psychiatric ward where she was last employed chose 
not to press criminal charges against her - probably from fear of 
unfavorable publicity.) 

The question of whether Pamela was indeed "perverted" or not is not only 
difficult to answer (unless the term perverted is defined and accepted), but 
is actually irrelevant to both the analysis of her case and the general 
tenor of this work. In the opinion of this observer, too many of the current 
works dealing with the innumerable psychosexual problems of men, women, and 
children misspend an excessive quantity of printer's ink and reader's time 
in defining terms, coining words and phrases, and, in general, putting on a 
bombastic circus rather than attempting to diagnose the problem, seek out 
its causes, and, subsequently, concentrate on curing the victim. 

Were Pamela to have sought out a therapist who adhered to the Freudian 
school of psychiatry, the chances are that the problem of the young woman's 
oral obession would have been tackled as a regression neurosis, brought 
about by a desire to return to the early (Freudian) "oral stage" of 
development, a desire spurred by a carry-over into adulthood of early 
infantile experiences at that same "oral stage." Such an approach to her 
problem would have, in fact, evaded her real psychosexual difficulty, or, at 
best, would have taken her on a restructuring of her already disturbed 
sexual desire into a form that could be treated through Freudian 
psychoanalysis. 

Consequently, rather than dwelling on Pamela's flagrant "obsession" with 
oral-genital activity, her therapist concentrated on her attitudes toward 
vaginal coitus and her reasons for rejecting such an act. He felt that her 
reluctance to go into more details during the first therapeutic session on 
her relationship with her ex-fiance, Vance, as well as her concurrent 
insistence (more emphatic than long-dwelling) that she did not want to 
engage in sexual intercourse, held the clue to her oral "obession." Through 
a series of psychodiagnostic sessions, Pamela's therapist learned that 
Pamela's oral tendency was less of a positive obsession than her anticoital 
attitude. It was learned that Pamela had held reservations about vaginal 
intercourse from her early adolescence, when her mother, having been under 
somewhat traumatic circumstances abandoned by her husband (Pamela's father), 
had fairly indoctrinated the girl with the belief that men were interested 
in nothing other than "ruining" a girl by - as Pamela quoted her mother 
saying - "ramming their organs into her, and knocking her up." In spite of 
her initial insistence that she had been quite promiscuous, Pamela later 
admitted that she had, indeed, only had two other lovers before Vance, 
lovers with whom she had had sexual intercourse consummated. Her mother's 
admonitions, apparently, had made a strong impression on her. The first two 
boys with whom she had had coitus zhe had herself terminated her 
relationship with, claiming that she had found that, although both of the 
boys had attained the eja-culatory peak of sensation, she had been 
"reluctant" to enjoy it, "knowing what they really were, and what they were 
after." 

Only in her sexual relationship with the philosophy major, her ex-fiance, 
Vance, did she manage to push her mother's warnings aside and fully enjoy 
vaginal sexual intercourse. Naturally, because of her somewhat limited 
earlier experiences with men, she considered Vance to be the man of her 
life. He was affectionate, tender, considerate of her physical well-being - 
everything, in other words, but what her mother had told her about men. 
Pamela idolized him. 

It is not surprising, therefore, that her finding her fiance in bed with 
another woman - in another woman, in fact - shattered the relatively 
beatific vision she had managed to weave around the solidly constructed 
man-moster of her mother's distraught (and undeniably vicious) mind. 
Pamela's subsequent acts - particularly her first almost unbelievable tryst 
with Mortimer, the compulsive masturbator - were nothing more than an 
attempt to strike back at Man. She learned - although she must have been 
aware of the idea of fellatio and cunnilingus - that she could use the male 
for her own gratification without any risk of, in her words, "involvement." 
That she had to reciprocate - or that she did reciprocate - to cunnilingus 
through fellatio did not seem to bother her. She may have actually thought 
that by fellating the man she was forcing him to give her sexual pleasure by 
his mouth; it is possible that she was not even consciously aware of the. 
reciprocation. As a matter of fact, she might have even enjoyed the oral 
stimulation men were bestowing upon her more because of her own oral 
actions. For, as David Reuben points out in his Everything You Always Wanted 
to Know About Sex* But Were Afraid to Ask: 

If a woman takes a man's penis into her mouth while he is stimulating her 
genitals in the same way, their mutual excitement is likely to quadruple as 
the nerve transmissions double and redouble in response to increasingly 
acute stimulation. She feels the insistent throbbing of the organ against 
her lips, and experiences a slightly salty taste, as well as the 
characteristic but not unpleasant odor of the sudoriferous glands of the 
area. Because the penis is much larger in comparison than the clitoris she 
can also see the male genitals as she proceeds. 

As we return to Pamela's narrative, we cannot help but notice the 
determination with which she must have obviously grasped at every 
opportunity offered her to, in her mind, "use the male animal," and 
disregarded at the same time the fact that she was providing them with no 
less pleasure. 

"Peter popped out of nowhere, suddenly, taking me totally by surprise. And 
how! I'd been working at the A-S-H-Sanatorium, a sort of home for the 
borderline aged. I mean, they were aged, and they were also sort of neither 
here nor there as far as psychoses and neuroses went. Actually, the 'aged' 
part was stretched a little. Anyone who could afford the three hundred and 
some dollars a month, with a contract signed for a year, could get in. But 
there weren't really too many patients in the place who were what you might 
call young. The youngest one, I believe, was an aerospace engineer of 
forty-six. He couldn't afford the upkeep of his family - three mistresses 
and a kid of thirteen (he was a widower) - so he took the easy way out, 
apparently having laid enough away for just such a vacation. I sucked him 
off regularly in his bathroom. A couple of times a week we managed to work 
something out so he could get his tongue playing cock in my cunt____God - 
you know, I never used to talk with such fucking profanity? But that's 
neither here nor there. Peter..,. 

"If we didn't have a full house at A. S. H. Sanatorium, I probably would 
have suspected that something wasn't on the up and up, you know, but the 
place was full. So, when the head nurse called me into her office one 
morning - last weekend, I think it was - and asked me if I would mind making 
a house call that day - 'Take some blood samples, give a Rorschach test - 
you know, routine procedure,' she had said - I thought nothing of it. I 
mean, I said that, of course, I wouldn't mind. Then: 'Who is it?' 

"Oh,' she answered, sort of evading my gaze, "just someone who had called 
Dr. P- this morning, requesting admission when we have a vacancy. His name 
is Peter F-. Actually, just between us, I think he's a bit on the youngish 
side for us, but - ' She shrugged her shoulders, letting her but hang. 

"She gave me the directions and Peter F-'s address. I took what I needed to 
run the tests, hopped into my car, and took off for the morning. The head 
nurse told me that they wouldn't expect me back until after lunch.... 

"Peter F-lived in a transient type of an apartment house, which, at the time 
(again), I thought nothing of. It was anything but classy. Long, dark 
hallways, worn carpets, squeaking stairs, and a broken skylight high above 
the five-story stairwell. His room was on the fifth floor. Well, you 
couldn't really call it an apartment. There was a burner in the closet - 
which he called his Tcitchen.' In fact, that was the first thing he said. I 
had rung the doorbell, he swung the door open, grinned - he had large, 
beautiful white teeth - and said, 'Hi! You must be from the rest home....' 
(Smart - with me standing there in my nurse's uniform.) 'I've got coffee 
perking in the kitchen. Would you like some?' 

"I nodded my head, muttered, 'Thanks.' I'll say one thing - 4ie was one 
helluva hunk of a man. I hadn't been able to resist sliding my eyes down his 
front when he swung the door open. And that he had something in his slacks, 
I had no need to doubt. His cock was all right there. I could practically 
see its entire outline right under the material of the slacks. And it looked 
like it was not in a state of total rest. Now, I shouldn't have been so 
obvious. Although, when you get right down to it, it wouldn't have mattered. 

"He caught my gaze. 'You are making it hard for me,' he said. 

"My eyes scampered up his fly, up his stomach and chest, skipped over his 
lips and nose, and stopped on his eyes. This guy, I thought, sure knows how 
to break de ice. 'You're as subtle as the grandmother-eating wolf,' I shot 
back at him as he ushered me in. 

"You know,' he said, taking my medical kit from me, 'I have always thought 
that the wolf - the one you are talking about - was dumb. Real dumb.' He 
shut the door behind me and indicated the armchair standing by the window. 

"How do you mean?' 

"Well - you don't mind if we skip the coffee, do you?' 

"I shook my head. He headed for the closet. I stopped him. 'No/ I said, 'I 
don't really want any. Thanks.' 

"He turned back toward me - I was already sitting down in the deep armchair, 
realizing suddenly that, he could look right down in-between my thighs - and 
said, 'The wolf.' Then he walked toward me, bent down, placing his hands on 
the armchair rests on either side of me, and smiled. 

"What about the wolf?' Wow, I thought, what a patient! 

"The wolf talked too much - and he was obviously perverted.' He paused. I 
didn't say anything - also tried not to look down at his cock, which I 
sensed was getting stiffer and stiffer___. 

"The wolf shouldn't have wasted his time with the old woman. He should have 
eaten Little Red Riding Hood. Right there in the forest. When they were 
alone. When no one was watching.' 

"To my surprise, I felt a blush creeping across my face. I cleared my 
throat, however, and asked, 'Is that what you would have done - if you were 
the wolf?' 

"He nodded his head, his eyes - I noticed that they were like dark coals 
beneath his bushy eyebrows, yet totally expressionless - seemed to stare 
into me, through me____'I - * He paused again. ' - am the wolf.' His tongue 
- I trembled - slipped out between his teeth, licked his lips. 'You - ' 
Pause.' - are Little Red Riding Hood.' 

"I let my legs fall apart. He had turned me on, like I was hooked on to his 
battery. 'And you are going to eat me,' I said. I didn't question it. 

"But he nodded his head anyway. His right hand came off the armchair and 
moved down into the wide gap between my knees. I caught his hand. Held it. 

"He raised his eyebrows. 

"I smiled. 'If the wolf is going to eat Little Red Riding Hood, Little Red 
Riding Hood is going to eat the wolf.' 

"His left hand came off the armrest, moved toward his belt buckle; his 
fingers gripped the zipper tab and pulled it down. 

"There was nothing under his slacks but long, wavy, dark pubic curls 
gathered around the base of his blue-veined hard on. It was hard - even to 
the eyes. I could see nothing but the couple of inches of it at the base. 
Thick. Judging by where its head was outlined beneath the material of the 
slacks, it was all of eight inches long. 

"I licked my lips, feeling moisture gathering in a slick film on my pussy 
lips. 'Give it to me,' I murmured. 'Give me that wolf-cock.' 

"And he did. He pulled his trousers down and his staff sprang out, pointing 
straight at my face, a drop of lubricant fluid at the gaping opening at the 
tip of it. 

"I opened my mouth and he walked his cock into it. I felt his hand sliding 
down my thigh - down, the way I was sitting; felt it splitting into hot 
fingers that insinuated themselves under the elastic band of my panties; 
felt their tips playing with the curls of my cunt hairs, playing with the 
slickness of my cunt lips, playing with the depth of my cunt tunnel - 
sliding in and out, tweaking the clit on the outstroke. 

"Deciding to give my mouth a helping hand, I brought my fingers up to the 
swinging sac underneath Peter's peter, and rolled their contents around 
between my fingers, letting his hard on continue on its pistonlike trip in 
and out of my slick mouth-sheath. The realization that I got his cock in my 
mouth and his fingers in my cunt before getting his name - directly from him 
almost made me laugh. But then I realized that he was just frigging me - and 
I wanted to be eaten. I pushed against his stomach until the head of his 
cock popped out of my mouth. I gasped, 'Eat my pussy, wolf! Eat my - ' 

"Before I knew what was happening, he had me in his arms, out of the 
armchair, and being rotated into an upside-down position. I tried flailing 
my arms in an effort to right myself, but before I knew it - again - I was 
no longer moving. He was sitting in the armchair, and I was resting my 
elbows on the armrests, with my mouth over his erection, and my ass the 
uppermost portion of my anatomy, with my cunt glued against Peter's mouth. 
He was chewing on my pussy through my panties. Which was a first for me - 
sort of wild. My legs were resting on the back of the armchair, one on 
either side of his head, so, all in all, I wasn't really uncomfortable.... 

"So I brought my face down and gobbled up his wavering cock. It was erect, 
but it sort of tilted - from all that weight, I suppose. I tried swallowing 
as much of Peter's erection as I could, but I only succeeded in getting half 
of it into my mouth. It was, I swear, the largest piece of meat I'd ever run 
across. So I did the best I could with what I was able to work with. I 
nibbled on it, sucked on it, licked it up and down the shaft, twirled my 
tongue over its engorged red head, nipped at the fold of skin just 
underneath its head, and slid the foreskin up and down its solid length. 
Then, letting my hands do their thing on the cock, I brought my mouth down 
to the man's balls and sucked them in one at a time. 

"Then he started reacting. At first his movements were almost unnoticeable, 
but gradually I began to feel his pelvis start jerking up toward my face, 
driving his hard on more forcefully into my throat. And his mouth on my 
drenched crotch was getting more violent. His large hands resting on my ass 
cheeks, he started drawing my cunt with more and more firmness against his 
mouth, bucking his cock up into my mouth with equal force. 

"The instant I started feeling the delicious sensation radiating from 
between my pussy lips, spreading throughout my body, reechoing from my rigid 
nipples, I grasped the base of Peter's cock in my hand and started jacking 
him off, his cock-head sliding freely around inside my mouth. I felt his 
sperm coursing through his cock within the grasp of my hand, and then I felt 
it filling my mouth. It was. difficult to swallow - considering my 
upside-down position - but I managed. Every drop. Feeling my cunt lips 
fluttering against his mouth at the same time---- 

"We were resting - in that same ridiculous position - when Peter told me. 
That he was a plant. Apparently, one of the sons-of-bitches at the 
sanatorium had let it slip that I had blown him - so the administration 
decided to have 

Peter F-, Doctor Peter F-, check the rumor out. The rumor that I was not fit 
to be a nurse----That I was actually a candidate for the patients' side of 
the psychiatrist's desk____" 

Although the manner in which the trap, so to speak, was set for Pamela 
cannot be admired (in fact, it must be considered as both cruel in its 
wiliness and unethical), it should be pointed out that an investigation of 
the circumstances by Pamela's therapist - to whom, naturally, some of the 
internal procedures of the patient's last place of employment were known - 
presented him with what turned out to be an effective lever in convincing 
Pamela that gender was no criterion for prejudice. Specifically, he pointed 
out that the administration official who instigated the plan for setting 
Doctor Peter F as a plant for Pamela's proclivity, was a Dorothy G-, a 
female. He also cited for Pamela the innumerable instances of 
"unfaithfulness" admitted to in his records by women, balancing these out, 
of course, for credibility with similar instances "perpetrated" by men. 

Although Pamela is still undergoing a post-therapeutic series of dialogue 
sessions with her therapist, the prognosis for her is definitely favorable. 

CONCLUSION 

In each of the foregoing case histories we have seen the constantly 
recurring theme of an active desire on the part of the woman to participate 
in an oral sex act. This runs directly contrary to the general opinions held 
by most people on this subject. 

It is generally believed that oral sex acts, when they are performed, are at 
the command and desire of the man, the woman being "forced" into 
participation, even where the participation is voluntary. Therefore, it 
becomes obvious that there exists a drive and an urge towards the 
performance of oral sex acts on the part of the female. In this instance the 
words "drive" and "urge" are used in their technical senses, as they are 
described in H.C. Warren's Dictionary of Psychology: 

A drive is any intro-organic activity or condition which supplies 
stimulation for a particular type of behavior. It covers both organic 
activating conditions, such as hunger and presumably cerebral conditions, 
such as mental set or such as desire for a particular object. 

An urge is a strong tendency to perform a certain act. 

While both of these definitions seem to be covered in the oral sexual 
episodes presented in this book, we must state that, in addition to the 
drive and urge, there is a definite measure of volition added in. That is, 
not only does the person involved feel an active desire for oral sexual 
activity, as opposed to sexual activity of an un-specific nature, but he (or 
she, in most of the cases contained here) has a constant intellectual desire 
to take part in an oral sex experience. 

Except in the cases where it was obvious there was a functional psychosis, 
the determining factor in oralism-participation was conscious desire. A 
sexual encounter was going to take place, regardless of the method of 
gratification. It was in studying this sort of situation that Dr. K. Dunlap, 
in Social Psychology, observed: 

We are not considering primarily what a man needs, but what he wants; that 
is what his psychological processes are directed towards. A man may need 
various things without wanting them; he may also want things that he does 
not need. 

Obviously, in the majority of the cases presented here, we had the situation 
of a man wanting something that he did not need. Sexual gratification 
through oralism. With gratification and release being the prime goal, the 
method that goal was reached by becomes secondary. 

The very fact that oralism can today be discussed, that books are being 
written about it, that psychologists and psychiatrists are studying it, and 
in some cases recommending it, says much for the progress our society is 
making towards fuller sexual freedom and emotional stability. It wasn't very 
many years ago that oralism was classed with such diverse sexual 
abnormalities as bestiality, necrophilia, sadism and masochism. Today we are 
slowly, but surely, retreating from that position, as members of the 
scientific community realize that both oral excitation and oral 
gratification have a legitimate place in the spectrum of sexual approach and 
response. 

Finally, it might be appropriate here to examine a little more closely the 
difference between exclusive oral sexual practices to the point of 
gratification, experimental or wider^ range gratification through oralism, 
and oralism as a form of preplay. 

The use of direct oral stimulation as a form of preplay, without following 
through to the point of gratification, is becoming quite common in our 
society. The almost universal practice of "french kissing" and the kissing 
of the female breasts has made the step to manipulation of the sex organs by 
oral means a small one, one that more and more people are taking. While this 
is not usually considered to be oralism, in the strictest sense, since the 
activity is stopped prior to physical release, we must include it since it 
almost always leads to further experimentation in oralism. 

Experimental or wider-range gratification through oral manipulation is the 
truest form of oralism. The partners actively seek gratification 
(completion) by oral means, but use these oral means as an adjunct to more 
conventional forms of sexual activity. The desired result is sexual 
gratification, with oralism being only one means of achieving this result. 
The partners can find equal satisfaction from conventional sexual practices 
or from other forms of sexual stimulation. 

Oral stimulation and gratification as a sole means of sexual expression is 
the only form of oralism which might still be referred to as a "perversion," 
in that it is the only form in which there is a functional mental psychosis. 
Here the person involved is unable to achieve sexual gratification in any 
other way, indicating serious mental disturbances. Fortunately, this 
situation is relatively rare, and the disorders associated with it are not 
often very complex, lending themselves to relatively easy solutions. 

Oralism has become an ever more accepted part of the spectrum of sexual 
activity, a part which can not help but lead to greater emotional freedom 
and balance on the part of those who have reduced their repressions and 
guilt feelings sufficiently to the point where they can participate in this 
exciting experience. 


BIBLIOGRAPHY 

Browne, Thomas. Religio Medici. Edited by John Winny. New York: Cambridge 
University Press, 1963. 

Cizon. Morality and Mental Health. Chicago: Rand McNally, 1967. 

Dorcus, Roy M., and Shaffee, G. Wilson. Textbook of Abnormal Psychology. 
Baltimore: Williams & Wilkins Co., 1945. 

Reuben, David. Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex But Were 
Afraid to Ask. New York: Bantam Books, 1969. 


End
